Grisha Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 4 months ago my gf left me after being together for 8 months. I was a great bf and had never had a woman leave me so I was definitely hurt. Her reason for leaving me was not very clear. She basically told me she was constantly feeling unsure about her feelings for me and didn’t feel like we were meant to be because of this. I understood what was going on. I was too available. I tried too hard. I was always there for her. I quickly noticed I was doing to much for her but she was going through a hard time because her grandmother who raised her (she has no mom or dad) her grandma was passing away and ended up passing away 2 weeks before she broke it off. I was hurt deeply but knew she was making a mistake and knew she’d be back. So I went no contact. She continued to contact me about every 2 weeks with breadcrumbs the first 2 months. Then her messages started getting longer and she started calling. After 3.5 months I asked if she wanted me to come over and she responded quickly and told me she’d need a couple hours to clean up so I came over same night. After that night she has been calling me every day. She is contacting me 100% of the time. She is now asking me to come over almost nightly. She is much more interested in me now than ever. (We used to hangout once a week if that and I’d always be the one asking) Last night she told me that her grandma’s death shut her feelings off from me and everyone besides her only sister and aunt. She is still hurt but she feels comfort around me now whereas before she avoided me. She told me she wasn’t seeing anyone since our breakup. She’s also planning trips with me in summer. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed because I’m not ready to jump back in so idk what to tell her because I don’t really want to see her more than 2-3 times a week. I still love her and think we will make great life partners but I feel like I need more time to build the trust. I will forever allow her to chase me while I never chase her again. I’ll stick to the 80/20 rule 20 being me. I will post on here every month or so to let you guys know how things are going. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted February 22, 2019 Share Posted February 22, 2019 She didn't mind telling you she needed space. You should do the same. In the future relationships should be balanced. Never put more than your share in. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 It's not that you were too available. It's that you are too available. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soloman Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 (edited) 4 months ago my gf left me after being together for 8 months. I was a great bf and had never had a woman leave me so I was definitely hurt. Her reason for leaving me was not very clear. She basically told me she was constantly feeling unsure about her feelings for me and didn’t feel like we were meant to be because of this. man take my advice, let go of the trust issues, she left you because the death of her practically mother destroyed her emotionally, this is your door back in, yeah you may have gotten hurt,and im sorry about that, but her heart got shattered from this, im not favouring her, and im not coming down on you, ive been through similiar before, if you see her as your life partner then tough it out, if she wants to get back with you when shes ready then wait for her , i know maybe it doesnt seem fair, but sometimes people just need to be alone to grieve, and that sounds like what shes doing and maybe she didnt want you around to see it. women are different then men, give this time to work on yourself, work out and support her emotionally, your that man still and her feelings for you didnt just vanish, shes just focused on pain and is trying to heal, people hand these situations differently. im routing for you man , trust me , if i was in your shoes id be the knight in shining armor over and over and over until she was ready. Edited February 23, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 OP, your past threads indicate she wasn't over her ex, either. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grisha Posted February 23, 2019 Author Share Posted February 23, 2019 OP, your past threads indicate she wasn't over her ex, either. That was something I was assuming when she left me but literally 3 days after she left me I saw her ex post pics of him and his new gf. They are still dating 4 months later. She always told me she was completely over him and had been over him for years. When she left me she didn’t say much besides she’s not feeling like she can be 100% and because of that she feels like we aren’t meant for each other. 3 nights ago she told me while laying down that she feels when her gma died her feelings were shut off and she couldn’t spend any time with me. She broke up with me the day before we were supposed to go on a trip out of town together. She told me it was too much and felt like things were being forced.. Eventhough her gma died (I never had to deal with close death) I thought she was just using that as an excuse. Idk why. I guess I thought about the worst reasons why she left me. The other thing I didn’t realize is her gma got sick 3 months into our relationship. She’d spend most of her nights bedside with her and eventhough things were good between me and her, shed sometimes have anxiety attacks and cry about being afraid about her life. (She only has a sister and an aunt) she’s been on her own since 17 basically because her gma got too old to take care of her..( that’s why she was living with her ex and got close with his family) She’s acting a lot more attached to me now. Actually more than ever. She has reached out to me first 16 times in a row. Almost every day. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 23, 2019 Share Posted February 23, 2019 I will forever allow her to chase me while I never chase her again. I’ll stick to the 80/20 rule 20 being me. Forget the stupid games. The girl is hurt and grieving for her grandma, why would you want to be so petty and horrible to her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 Quote: Originally Posted by Grisha View Post I will forever allow her to chase me while I never chase her again. I’ll stick to the 80/20 rule 20 being me. Forget the stupid games. The girl is hurt and grieving for her grandma, why would you want to be so petty and horrible to her? Totally agree with this. 80/20? You'll never have a healthy relationship with someone long-term with those dynamics. People deal with death in different ways. Link to post Share on other sites
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