Will no contact work when he told me to move on?

[Jennyy]

Hello everyone (first time using websites like this but..),

 

my ex and I have been together for 1 1/2 years now, he broke up with me because he wanted to be free again, meet other women and get some experince. We are both young and we were each others first real love.

 

We are still going to school and he is graduating at the moment. 2 weeks ago he needed a break to think about everything (thought he just needed some time for himself because of is stress). He then told me he is not sure anymore if he wants to be with me anymore. I was really sad and became needy, tried to convince him to stay - big mistake. After this break he told me he still loves me but thinks it won't work out in the future and he'd rather do it now than in 2 months again. I did alot for him in our relationship - i didn't get much in return but i loved him and the way he treated me.

 

We've been friends for 2 years before we got a couple, so we tried to stay friends after our breakup. I tried to kind of do no contact to maybe really make him think if this is the right thing but he got mad when i ignored him. So we met a friends yesterday - but it ended with crying and him being mad at me because i wasn't over him yet.

 

So today he said: ''I’m very sorry what happened yesterday, i can’t handle this situation.. i’m very sorry i’ve chosen this path but it’s the only right thing for me. I hope you can understand it and let me go, I’d like to be friends in the future, i think we will both be happy this way''.

 

I'm young. I'm confused. This sounds stupid but i honestly think i was a good girlfriend, who he will never have again in life. He thinks the grass is greener single, living life at its fullest.

 

So now - I'm thinkin about doing NC.. primarily to heal but also to get him back. Will he realise what he had when he dates other women/ gets some experience? Is what he said really what he meant ( wanting me to move on)? will NC make him realise he needs me? or is it over when a guy says something like that? I'd really like to hear some answers from people who experienced the same/ similiar or who can tell me if it's over for ever.

[d0nnivain]

NC is not a manipulation tool to make somebody come back. Here especially school is ending & he wants to be free to date women in the real world not somebody back at school. It really isn't about you or what kind of GF you were. It's about him not wanting to be tied down. Do not wait for him.

 

Use NC to heal. Eventually you will be ready to date again, even though you are in too much pain right now to see that.

[ExpatInItaly]

It really isn't about you or what kind of GF you were. It's about him not wanting to be tied down. Do not wait for him.

 

I couldn't agree more. You could be the kindest girl in the world but it doesn't mean he feels the romantic connection enough to continue, especially at your ages.

 

The break-up from your first love is very hard,OP, because you have no frame of reference for your feelings or a developed set of skills to help you cope. No Contact is one of those ways, in that time and space apart will help you to emotionally detach.

 

First loves are almost never our last. You will be happy again in the future, but now is the time to take care of you.

[Marc878]

NC always works if you fully apply it.

[stillafool]

No. NC will not bring him back but will help you to get over him by not hearing or seeing him. Nothing more. Sorry you're hurt but if he told you to let him go he's moving on and so should you.