mike Posted June 1, 2001 Share Posted June 1, 2001 My wife of 21 years has put on a lot of weight lately. She knew how to lose it after our kids were born, but seems not to care as much about her appearance anymore. I'm finding myself checking out other women now when I never used to. Anybody have any tips on how to tell her to lose the weight. I just don't find it attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 1, 2001 Share Posted June 1, 2001 Women can get pretty sensitive when you bring up the subject of their weight. There is really no "nice" way but there are better ways than others. The best thing to do is enroll BOTH of you at a gym. Offer to go on a diet with her, so both of you can enjoy healthy meals filled with vegetables, lean meats, etc. absent lots of sweets with portions measured. It won't hurt you and there's not much she can say if you offer to do it with her. Don't do the liquid diet deal or use other fad diets. They may help her shed some pounds but they'll come back and more. What you could really do to help her is join WeightWatcher's with her. It doesn't cost a whole lot of money but you can support her in her effort to lose weight. It's only fitting that you address this problem NOW. If she keeps putting on the pounds and you keep eyeing other women, one day it may not be her weight you'll be discussing with her...but a divorce. Fat is not pretty and you didn't marry an ocean liner. Weight management is not something that is a temporary chore. Once people hit a certain age, it becomes a part of life forever. Of course, there are a few blessed with genes that do not call for increased weight but your wife doesn't have those. You are well within your rights to insist that your wife adopt a healthy lifestyle unless there are compelling health reasons why she cannot. Link to post Share on other sites
catt Posted June 1, 2001 Share Posted June 1, 2001 I can not believe what I have just read!! Mike, take a good, long look in the mirror. Are you as attractive as you once were? I highly doubt it. After 21 yrs of marriage, I'm sure your wife is at a place where she feels safe, comfortable, and confident in her marriage. Did you honestly expect her to get up at the crack of dawn and get all dolled up for you every single day of your life together? What do YOU do to keep HER attracted to you? Tony's right about one thing - women do not like to hear such things from the men who claim to love them. They like to be sure that a man loves them for who they are on the INSIDE not what they look like on the outside. Tony made some good suggestions. If you insist on discussing this with your wife, do so with the greatest of caution. Do so at your own risk, but I'm sure she'll see right through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shelly Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 Catt, I am with you on this one. Where do men get off saying thing's like that? my boyfriend said the same thing to me. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there and said bye! MEN!!! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
catt Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 I find this sort of behaviour absolutely infuriating! Where do they get off thinking this sort of rubbish, much less asking advice on it? This is definitely one aspect of the male mind that I will never understand and I don't even want to try. Good for you for having the guts and self-confidence to tell your ex to pi$$ off! Catt I am with you on this one. Where do men get off saying thing's like that? my boyfriend said the same thing to me. I couldn't believe it. I just stood there and said bye! MEN!!! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
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