NTB Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 so i think i might have to break up this FWB agreement i had with this girl T i mean i thought it was great no strings attached nothing but like always i was clueless to that fact that she has some how developed feelings for me. months ago when we got together we both had just gotten out of relationships and both agreed we weren't ready for anything except sex. so last night she invites me to some party at her friends house everything was cool i think i might have drunk too much but whatever anyway coming to the end of the night her friend is heavy on the flirting so i give it back next thing i know T is sitting on my lap and her friend is asking T "do you mind if i give him a kiss" and well i jump and i said i didn't mind so we kissed like full on tongue wrestling match it was good but anyway after that T smacks me and calls me a jerk. of course i am clueless as to WTH just happened i let her go. she calls me later that night and tells me she is hurt and that she thinks she loves me??? oh and she wants to have something more with me loves me?? how can she love me all we do is have sex? i think i need to break this off but i don't want to give up the sex, then again i'm not ready for a relationship? man i need some help Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMiss Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 If she already has those kind of feelings for you and you don't feel the same then the sex needs to stop immediately. Be kind and let her down easy. Tell her you thought that both of you understood that your relationship was purely sexual. Tell her you are sorry, but you are not ready for a serious relationship. She may want to continue having sex as well, but don't do it. You will only hurt her more. Just let her down easily and find someone else to satisfy you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NTB Posted September 19, 2005 Author Share Posted September 19, 2005 this could present a problem i tried to tell her we shouldn't see each other for a while and she didn't really like this idea and i tried to tell her in a nice why that i didn't feel the same for her and well that wasn't taken well either she hung up on me Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 loves me?? how can she love me all we do is have sex? Because in women, having sex triggers the bonding hormone. Some women seem to be impervious, but it's my guess that far fewer are able to have 'unattached' sex than actually claim to. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleMiss Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 this could present a problem i tried to tell her we shouldn't see each other for a while and she didn't really like this idea and i tried to tell her in a nice why that i didn't feel the same for her and well that wasn't taken well either she hung up on me Well, I guess I would just leave her alone. If she wants to get angry and upset when you are being honest with her then there is not much you can do. Just stay away and in time she will come around if she wants to remain friends. Link to post Share on other sites
li'l bunny Posted September 19, 2005 Share Posted September 19, 2005 I started 'no strings attached' sex with a friend of mine once.... He is now my husband!! It never works...especially if it's going on as long as yours. There must've been feelings on her side for a long time. Coluld you not tell from the way she kissed you and had sex with you?! Link to post Share on other sites
Basic Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 When I'm with a lady, even a platonic friend, I do not flirt and such with others. Others around may assume we are together and I wouldn't shame her by ignoring her. Maybe she does have feelings for you, or maybe she just has feelings that are hurt. Maybe both. Myself, I'd tell her I was sorry for doing that in her company. then confirm that we are not really BF GF. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author NTB Posted September 20, 2005 Author Share Posted September 20, 2005 I started 'no strings attached' sex with a friend of mine once.... He is now my husband!! It never works...especially if it's going on as long as yours. There must've been feelings on her side for a long time. Coluld you not tell from the way she kissed you and had sex with you?! i didn't notice anything really i wasn't tryin to notice anything i guess but then again i am clueless to things like knowing when a girl likes me i think i will just let her be and see what happens thanks guys Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 20, 2005 Share Posted September 20, 2005 Because in women, having sex triggers the bonding hormone. Some women seem to be impervious, but it's my guess that far fewer are able to have 'unattached' sex than actually claim to. One of my female friends genuinely thought she could... but it turned out she was just deluding herself. Ended up hopelessly stuck on him. Link to post Share on other sites
snailz Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 OMG!!!! i so know how she feels, i went through the same thing and it hurts like mad, be sensitive and understanding and most importantly be honest with her- and dont have sex with her because its only going to hurt her even more in the long run. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I'm a staunch believer in that FWBs only works for guys because of our in-born 'gift' to compartmentalize. Some of them girls are like 'if the guys can do it so can we'. They don't realize that men and women are wired differently. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I'm a staunch believer in that FWBs only works for guys Actually, I don't think it would work for me, either... your point seems fundamentally sound in general though. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 hmm, come to think about it, it'll only work for me if the girl isn't good lookin'. Then I can be in it just for the sex. But if she's a looker, then I'll be at her mercy. <Sigh>.... I'm a shallow one. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 <Sigh>.... I'm a shallow one. I'll just call you "Hal" Link to post Share on other sites
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