DrPhilsPubes Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 We dated for 9 months and I basically helped him survive. He was in a really rough spot after we got together and I helped him through it. Around the end of September I decided to end things because I was moving 6 hours away for a few months and he wasn't really respecting me at the time. Fast forward to mid October I ask to get back together. He says he's already moved on! His new girl looks almost exactly like me and has a similar name. He tells me he felt like **** for not realizing I wanted to eventually get back together. His new girl is just a place holder. I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He loves everything about me. Then I move back up to the same city (on a Sunday) and we plan to go to dinner together (Friday) 30 minutes before we planned to go he said it's not gonna work out. Another month goes by of us not talking he calls me and says he doesn't want me out of his life but he can't garauntee a relationship. We hang out, hookup, have fun and I finally ask the question after another month goes by? "Is this going anywhere?" He tells me again he doesn't want me out of his life but he doesn't think we have a chance at this time. I just started No Contact it's been 10 days. Of course I want him back but I wanted to know do you think he's moved on for good or will he get back in contact eventually? Is his new girl a rebound? Why lead me on if it wasn't gonna go anywhere? Thanks for reading sorry it's so long! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 He leads you on because you are letting him do it. If he was so in love with you and truly wanted something with you, he'd have left his new girl in a hot minute to be with you. For now, you and she are both just place-holders. He isn't crazy about either of you but he'll happily take whatever you're offering him, without committing to you or her. And what kind of guy cheats? Not the kind of guy you should attempt a relationship with. Go out there, find your self-respect, and eventually find yourself a real man. He isn't that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 He's messing you around. Continue NC... block him. Don't ever beg a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 If his new girl is just a placeholder then what does that make you? Placeholder #2 if placeholder #1 is busy? Thats a nice spot to be in. Not. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 No there is no chance for reconciliation. Too many factors are working against you. 1. You are now long distance. 2. You broke up with him first & he doesn't trust you not to hurt him again. 3. You dumping him, then coming back tells him you don't know your own mind. It's another indication that you are not trustworthy because it's too easy for you to do another 180. Plus without trust it's impossible to have an LDR. 4. He already has a new GF. Place holder rebound or not, she's there & you are 6 hours away. His offer shows him to be untrustworthy too. 5. The relationship still has the problems that caused you to break up in the 1st place. 6. What you don't understand is that you really don't want him back. You are feeling nostalgic because your move has you unsettled & he represents comfort in the form of familiar. It's not him the man you want; it's a happy relationship you want. Yet you didn't have that with him at the time you chose to break up with him. Go NC. Focus on your living situation. Settle in to your new life & have a great time. Link to post Share on other sites
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