frus69 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 Lately I reunited with a guy I met 3 years ago. And apparently I hooked up with him back then however I don't remember a bit, not a single moment(He recognized me and told me that). I initially didnt believe that, until he said that I have a small mark near my inner thigh, which is true. I feel awful for not remembering him yet he seems to..remember so much about me? But maybe it doesnt mean anything, doesnt mean he really liked me. Anyway he looks really good and I wouldnt mind getting to know him bit more, and he seems also interested so we went on a date. two things I'm not sure about. 1. He is not actively seeking a relationship. Doesn't bother me at the moment as Im not in a rush to get a BF either. But later on? Not sure how I would feel. 2. I kept thinking is he genuinely interested or he maybe..just wants to "get even"? Because his ego might get bruised that I forgot about him and about having sex with him? Anyway at the end of the date he said "well, you have my number now". Sounds like he wants me to call him? Should I do it or should I wait for him to call, just to be sure? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 Well, maybe you had sex with a friend of his who talked and that's how he knows about the mark. Second, he has openly said he's not looking for a relationship. Don't expect him to change his mind. He just wants to hook up. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 big fail...dump this chump. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 big fail...dump this chump. Big fail ? Care to explain? Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 24, 2019 Author Share Posted February 24, 2019 Well, maybe you had sex with a friend of his who talked and that's how he knows about the mark. Second, he has openly said he's not looking for a relationship. Don't expect him to change his mind. He just wants to hook up. If I had sex with his friend, I wouldnt have met him and he wouldnt have recognized me now. We dont have mutual friends...It seems really unlikely it was the case... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Well, maybe, but I'm considering that you think it's possible you don't remember this hookup, so why isn't it possible you don't remember seeing his friend? But anyway, kind of doesn't matter. He's just wanting a hookup and has made that clear. If you call, he will assume it's an invitation for a hookup because he's already said he isn't looking for a relationship (and may already be in one -- you never know) Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 He just wants to smash...not looking for anything serious later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm a little worried about you not remembering anything about this guy. Is it normal for you to blackout (not pass out) and not remember after drinking? Otherwise, I'd be a little concerned that maybe this guy drugged your drink. I think even for a hookup, I'd pass on this because what if it's something sinister like that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm going to suggest that 'not looking for a relationship' is quite different to 'not being open to a relationship'. Some of the best relationships can happen quite organically when we're not actively looking. If I were you, I'd find out if 'not looking for' means he doesn't want a relationship or simply isn't desperately trawling through dating sites. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 big fail...dump this chump. Yeah... any guy that does that is looking for the 100% sure score without having to work for it.. meaning he would put the moves on you and try to bang you if you call him showing him you are already too invested... Never fall for that shiot... An interested guy will work for your attention and want to spend time with you rather than looking for the easy lay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I dont think I was drunk because I dont really drink. If he drugged me, I should at least still remember him? Or remember hanging with him or drinking with him? I suppose I dont remember because it was many years ago and I only hooked up with him once, and never saw him again. From what he said, I invited him over and we netflix and chilled. I do remember living my single life back in those days (if you know what i mean) so maybe I just forget one or two.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I'm going to suggest that 'not looking for a relationship' is quite different to 'not being open to a relationship'. Some of the best relationships can happen quite organically when we're not actively looking. If I were you, I'd find out if 'not looking for' means he doesn't want a relationship or simply isn't desperately trawling through dating sites. I asked if he's had any GFs after all these years and he said no.I think he said something like "it's not that I dont want one. Im just not putting in effort to seek one at the moment". Im not too bothered because honestly I'm not seeing him as my BF in the future, not now at least. But I do like him and I certainly want to see him again..well 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I would say first figure out what you want out of dating in general. Do you want a relationship? Like ultimately? If so I wouldn't bother with guys who make it clear they don't want a relationship. Now if you really don't care either way (and I stress really)...like your ok with the real possibility that nothing will come from this then by all means explore. The problem is a lot of women say they don't care if it doesn't go anywhere and ending up caring or being disappointed when he don't make her a girlfriend. So please please please be honest with yourself. Do you eventually want a relationship to come out of getting to know a guy you like? If the answer is yes then leave guys who don't want a relationship alone. Now the second doesn't matter if you really want a relationship because again you shouldn't waste time with guys who don't make that clear they want one. But to answer your question you judge a guys interest based on how he treat you OVER TIME. Is he calling? Is he asking you out? Is he saying when can I see you again? Well I would say he is interested until he stops coming towards you. At the beginning we have no idea true intentions. Only actions over time will tell a mans intentions. And to address the "well you have my number now"...many men say this. All it means is "if you want to call/text me you can". You don't have to. I don't lol. Guys who said this that we're interested still call/text me. Only time I contact is if he says explicitly he wants me to contact him. Other than that I let men contact me. You can call it if you want but if your trying to gage his interest you don't have to and should see if he comes towards you. Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 You don't want a relationship at this time, he's lukewarm at best by his response. He hasn't reached out to you, has he? This ain't goin no where no time soon. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) <snip>Do you eventually want a relationship to come out of getting to know a guy you like? If the answer is yes then leave guys who don't want a relationship alone. Now the second doesn't matter if you really want a relationship because again you shouldn't waste time with guys who don't make that clear they want one. <snip> Do I ultimately want a relationship with him? I dont know. He doesnt fit into my box perfectly on paper. But you never know right. What I know now is that he is hot and Im sexually attracted. I have no idea why I only hooked up with him once and completely forgot..maybe he's grown a lot hotter now. You don't want a relationship at this time, he's lukewarm at best by his response. He hasn't reached out to you, has he? This ain't goin no where no time soon. Move on. hmm I only saw him last night so no..he hasnt reached out yet lol Strangely Im not even expecting to hear a "hey hows your day" from him and Im totally fine with it. I guess right now Im just getting adrenaline rush and I just want him to really dig me? I honestly havent thought about having a relationship with him Edited February 25, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 frus69, is this guys name Bill Cosby?? Because if it is it would explain a number of things 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 I really dont think he drugged me or anything if that's what you are implying.. Is it really weird people forget about casual hook ups? Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 It can be. But I've definitely had to be reminded of a few from my more indulgent days. And there's one or two I wish I could never remember 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I asked if he's had any GFs after all these years and he said no.I think he said something like "it's not that I dont want one. Im just not putting in effort to seek one at the moment". Im not too bothered because honestly I'm not seeing him as my BF in the future, not now at least. But I do like him and I certainly want to see him again..well Ah yes, exactly. He's just doing his own thing till someone good comes along. I'm really not seeing the red flags that everyone else is. Perhaps I've missed something?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 (edited) Ah yes, exactly. He's just doing his own thing till someone good comes along. I'm really not seeing the red flags that everyone else is. Perhaps I've missed something?? Perhaps the red flag is that we started out as only a hook up 3 years ago. Now we just met again and are still very casual. We had a date, but we arent dating, arent even heading towards that direction. Even our first date was super spontaneous. I met him last week, suggested we should catch up over the weekend. He didnt have time. I thought he wasn't keen then. But on the weekend he finished his stuff early and asked if Im free for a drink in 4 hours. I was surprised and kinda glad to be honest,and I went. Turned out great. Maybe it's just going to be a hookup,or a series of hook ups.But at the moment Im fine with it. I just want him to like me cuz I like him. I hope he asks me out again soon. But if he doesnt, I may consider text him? Edited February 25, 2019 by frus69 1 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Is it really weird people forget about casual hook ups? Yes, it's pretty strange that you hooked up and have no recollection. I don't understand how that could happen... unless there were a lot of extremely casual hookups, with substances of some sort. How many such occurrences do you think there were? Does he have your number, or do only you have his? I don't guess it matters actually. If you want to get together shoot him a text. It's not against the rules or anything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Do I ultimately want a relationship with him? I dont know. He doesnt fit into my box perfectly on paper. But you never know right. What I know now is that he is hot and Im sexually attracted. I have no idea why I only hooked up with him once and completely forgot..maybe he's grown a lot hotter now. No I mean do you want a relationship in general (not just specifically this guy...any guy). Because a lot of women say they are seeing what's out there but the end game is relationship. like what do you want from dating? Do you ultimately want a relationship to come out of it? Or do you truly not care whether or not a relationship comes out of the end of an interaction with any guy you like? Be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 Couple of things: 1. This guy is not going to call you. So if you want to interact with him you have to call. 2. He knows back in the day you were open to NSA attached sex. Since you didn't remember him, he has conclude that you have had soooo many ONS that all the guys in your past blended together. So I suspect he's looking for another hook up & even if he wants a relationship in general he may not respect you enough to want one with you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 When a guy says "call me", it means he's not that "into you" so he's not gonna chase you, but if you run after him and he can get s e x, great. A guy loves it when a girl serves it up to him on a silver platter without even having to do much. And, in this case, that message couldn't be clearer because he's already told you he's not looking for a relationship. Block, delete and continue to forget . . . If you weren't drinking or hadn't been drugged and you don't remember him, I'd say he didn't make a great impression on you. It doesn't look like he's working at that now either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author frus69 Posted February 25, 2019 Author Share Posted February 25, 2019 No I mean do you want a relationship in general (not just specifically this guy...any guy). Because a lot of women say they are seeing what's out there but the end game is relationship. like what do you want from dating? Do you ultimately want a relationship to come out of it? Or do you truly not care whether or not a relationship comes out of the end of an interaction with any guy you like? Be honest. Do I want a relationship in general, of course. But to be honest I can't see it happening. At the moment my self esteem is a bit low.. i'm a bit confused what I should want. I can't really see a happy ever after in my life anytime soon. lots of reasons I won't elaborate now. Guess what im trying to say is maybe i am not even capable of having a relationship? So I don't care what he wants cuz I haven't figured out myself yet. But I do want to feel desired and liked and wanted. Maybe i'm trying to pick up my confidence from this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
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