jarob Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) Hello, I been broken up with my ex girlfriend for about 6 weeks and in this time, I have grown as a man and person. I have made significant changes to my life and my life is better because of it. However, I do still love my ex girlfriend and I bumped into her a few days ago. We spoke for about 10 minutes, catching up with each other and seeing how the other one has been. We ended on bad terms, with us both blocking each other's number. When we were together a few days ago, I mentioned how we should unblock each other's number. She agreed. I also mentioned that I miss her and would like her to come over if she decided she wanted to. She said she'd think about it(we live in the same apartment complex). I ran into her again that night while she was outside with her dog and I petted her dog and it gave me a few kisses. After that, we went on our way. It's been a few days and she hasn't reached out. I will continue playing it cool and not reach out, so my question only matters if she does reach out. How do I properly go about getting to know her again? If she comes over, I plan on focusing on just having a good time, drinking some wine and just relaxing and not talking about the past. It's a touchy subject because negative emotions are involved on her side because of the guy I was in the past and I get that. I see myself with her, but I am keeping my options open. I've started going to church, exercising, being more patient, kind, and thoughtful. Does anyone have any tips or has gone through a similar situation? Grateful that you took the time to read and respond! JB Edited February 28, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs and move to SC Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Real lasting change takes months to implement not 6 weeks. Good for you for taking positive steps but don't oversell. When speaking to her just go slow. You need to gradually get to know each other again. Don't rush things. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelliousme Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 I wouldn't even consider your relationship an "old" relationship unless it's been YEARS. 6 weeks is an extremely short time. You might think you've changed.. but it's very unlikely to change old habits in such a short time. Even if you did, it might not be long lasting like the person above me has said. I have to emphasize.. it's been less than 2 months. Whatever problems you guys have previously, it might still persist because not much time has passed yet. Emotions, wounds, arguments, they should still be fresh at the moment. It's not like it's been years. If you still like her, talk to her.. suggest that you are willing to change and work things through because you still care for her. If she says no then move on. Focus on yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Only 6 weeks? Nah, you've got a ways to go still as far as growth is concerned. If you'd said a year, then I'd have agreed with you--heck, even 6 months, but not 6 weeks. You're still too emotionally hooked into her and she's demonstrating that she really doesn't care if she's going days without reaching out to you. Ex's are ex's for a reason and 6 weeks isn't enough time to process those reasons out. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jarob Posted February 27, 2019 Author Share Posted February 27, 2019 I should have left out the word "old" and just put relationship:) I dated her for 4 months, and it was intense. I've seen her around the last couple of days and have been playing it cool. We both said hi and went on our way. If given the opportunity, I'll take it slow and learn from my mistakes. I want to do it right this time. Any other advice would be great. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 (edited) I dated her for 4 months, and it was intense. You barely made it past the 3 month mark where the "on their best behavior" representatives are dismissed and the "real you/real her" comes to the fore and it fell apart---as all weak foundation relationships will do in this time frame. We both said hi and went on our way. So neither of you could be arsed to invest more... I've seen her around the last couple of days and have been playing it cool. playing games was more important. I want to do it right this time. Then find a different girl to invest in. This one is after attention, not relationship. Learn to discern the difference. Edited February 27, 2019 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
David33 Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Agreed that 6-weeks is not a long time but if you feel you have matured then just keep playing it cool. Stay away from talks about the past and let her lead the discussion. GL Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 28, 2019 Share Posted February 28, 2019 Jarob, I looked at your old posts. She made it quite clear that she doesn't want to get back together with you. This friendliness she's giving at the moment is simply about clearing the air and not being awkward when she runs into you. Please don't make more of it than it is. I will also agree with those who say six weeks is not long enough to prove change. The other thing which is worth throwing out there: have you considered that when she was pulling away in the relationship, this was her planning to break up. Whether you chased her or gave her space, she was probably ready to move on regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
Vitrichenko2215 Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 (edited) It was my first time to post, if I made any mistake I apologies! Jarob, I think you should focus on yourself but meanwhile you can at least be friend with her, I don't know why you block each other. I think first of all try to make her associate you as good memories, and maybe ask her to have a drink and you will see . Edited March 3, 2019 by Vitrichenko2215 Totally wrong reply Link to post Share on other sites
GraysonMitchell55 Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 Life is short, we you want to stay in contact or get back together go for it. Better than regretting not doing it later. Link to post Share on other sites
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