Boyfriends dad May like me too much? Am I imagining this?

[Katana_711]

Is there something he’s not telling me?

 

I think my boyfriends dad is trying to come on to me. He’s in his early 60s. I’m in my early 30s. Despite the age gap .We have become close over the many years, we have a lot of the same interest. We’ve also worked together. Lately I’ve been noticing that my boyfriends dad calls me snuggle bunny. He had said kind of randomly his wife no longer has sex with him. From what I’m gathering with out prying it’s been YEARS. I guess that’s understandable for the age (although I hope it’s not the case when I’m that age). If we are watching a movie with sex scene he says he’s so lonely. O.O He says we can just watch porn instead. He also makes comments like you could just take your pants off. When my boyfriend came back from his business trip he says you should go back home and get reacquainted with him (his son). He always tries to get hugs when I leave him but usually not when his sons around. I can even swore I had my arm forearm stroked with his index finger while we were sitting down in the family room.I froze ok. I’ve called him a dirty old man he says I’m not old. Lol okay. When I’m not able to hang out or go somewhere with him he says “well I guess I can’t compete with John anyway he’s so much younger. I really enjoy my boyfriends dads company and admire him. I’m just not sure if he wants more from me or if I’m imagining things. The more I type out the more I’m convinced I’m not imagining

[elaine567]

You are not imagining anything...

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

He needs to learn boundaries and how to behave! Yuck. It's not ok to suggest you take your pants off, among other things!

[BaileyB]

You are not imagining this... and may I just say “ick!”

[d0nnivain]

This man is out of bounds. You need to speak up. Next time he says anything you need to reply: You have to stop saying stuff like that. It may have started out innocently but now it's making me really uncomfortable because it's so inappropriate. Just so we're clear -- I do not want to watch porn with you; I will never take off my pants in your presence & if you are lonely you need to take that up with your wife.

 

Guys like him only understand a virtual punch in the nose.

[Wallysbears]

He sounds creepy. Is there a reason you are spending time with him? I'd avoid him completely.

[Gretchen12]

I really enjoy my boyfriends dads company and admire him.

 

Don't. You are 30 not 13. When he "joked" about you taking off your pants I don't see how you can still enjoy his company and admire him. He probably started out more subtle but you didn't shut him down so he felt ok to go further.

[elaine567]

I'd avoid him completely.

 

 

So would I.

 

If you have to live in his house go spend time with your bfs mother instead.

Even better make plans to get your own place.

[anika99]

Why are you spending so much time with your boyfriend's dad? It sounds like you both need better boundaries.

[Katana_711]

Yes. We used to live with them. My dad is not really around. So I thought it was nice having one (before the comments and the come ons) I guess I thought if I ignored the comments things would die down. I had a father in mind I guess he had a girlfriend in mind. It’s disappointing. Thank you everyone. This helped.

[JuneL]

Is this creepy older man from a different culture by any chance? Not trying to justify his creepy behaviors, but I’ve read from here that such behaviors are not super uncommon from certain cultures. He might well be thinking that he’s telling jokes.

[Katana_711]

I see what your saying. no he is not ethnic in any way

[whichwayisup]

Yes. We used to live with them. My dad is not really around. So I thought it was nice having one (before the comments and the come ons) I guess I thought if I ignored the comments things would die down. I had a father in mind I guess he had a girlfriend in mind. It’s disappointing. Thank you everyone. This helped.

 

If he truly thought of you as a 'daughter' or someone he wanted to protect and look after in a parenting way he NEVER would have done and said those things you described. He's a horny 60 year old man lusting after his son's gf.

 

No more hugs, no more hanging out with him without your bf present. Put some distance and boundaries down asap.

[preraph]

You're not imagining anything. Listen, any time a man tells you his wife never has sex anymore, he's about to come on to you and is hoping for pity sex. I can't tell you the number of times I have heard that from people I had no intention of dating over the years. Here's one creeper story that stands out:

 

Went on Craig's List and drove to buy an old modern couch (a Lucy couch) I'd refurbish. When I drove up, right then, a woman drove out of the driveway leaving, as if she had been waiting for me to arrive to leave. I thought that was odd.

 

He takes me to the back room where the couch is, and it's a big room like a den and has a bed in it. Immediately he motions to the bed and tells me his wife has some illness and never has sex with him anymore -- as if I am there to have sex with him! He used that couch to lure women to his home and his wife was going along with it! He kept it up and I was all business and finally just told him, "Load the couch." I didn't even address his running pity plea I was so disgusted. I made him load it all by himself since he was such a skeevy pervert. You have to be really careful with Craig's List. People get ideas that everyone who reads it either wants a prostitute or is one.

 

The other worst incident was my friend's wedding at her home. Right after the vows, her father came in for what I assumed would be a hug and stuck his tongue down my throat instead. UGH. I had to tell her. I didn't want to ruin her wedding, but I know she had to know how he was before that.

 

And he did it right in front of his wife. Again, these women enabling these geezers, pretending not to notice.

 

So you need to tell him to stop making inappropriate comments to you OR you need to tell your boyfriend to do it. Thing is, if he doesn't hear it from your mouth, he will choose to believe you do not feel that way and it's just his jealous son who does. And tell your bf you are never ever going to be alone with him EVER. And if you need to, tell his wife. She will tear him a new one, and he deserves it. Doesn't get much lower than hitting on your son's woman. And he's not old enough for brain degeneration to be an excuse yet.

[BaileyB]

Why are you spending so much time with your boyfriend's dad? It sounds like you both need better boundaries.

 

This. Exactly.

[preraph]

Him: "My wife won't have sex with me anymore (hint hint;))."

 

You:

I don't blame her.

 

And that's my problem why?

 

I'll definitely ask her about it when I talk to her next

or

BETTY! Come in here! I need to ask you something!

 

You know, your wife and I tell each other everything.

 

Not my job.

 

Well, you have two good arms, don't you?

 

I tell your son everything. He'll find this very interesting.

 

I'll ask my dad (or brother) about it. You know, he's a Marine!

 

None of my business.

 

Too much information, geez.

 

or

 

Just walk off and don't even respond, but go tell his wife and your boyfriend immediately. If possible bust him about it loudly while they're somewhere in the house and say loudly something like, "Did you just tell me your wife won't have sex with you anymore? What the hell?" Loudly. Bust him.

 

And if your bf won't take care of this, remember that's his role model and be very afraid what could happen once HIS kids have guests over.

 

Do NOT keep his secret from anyone. Spew it to the world and spit it back at him.