Surviving the aftermath of toxic relationship

[Okina]

My girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago, we were in relation**** for the same amount of time.

I was madly in love with her. So much so I have ignored all the signals my body gave me. I began having nightmares, lost my apetite and was in continuous state of anxiety with her. I tried my very best for this relationship to work. Too much. It felt like I was too blame for everything.

 

Now I cant sleep, cant date new women despite having desire to do so without experiencing deep psychological stress, physical pain and intense headaches that last few days. Milder(arent that mild really) forms of pain will even happen when relating with my friends.

 

I do yoga, Im meditating, eating healthy, taking suplimens that relax the body and nervous system, I spend time in nature and do exercise. Right now I am also looking for a therapist. I was never so low in life. I'm fked. Thanks to my spiritual practice I can find the calm inside this storm, but I would be lying if I'd say suicide is not on my mind. I wont take my life, no, I like living too much but the pain is real, and I just want it to go away..

Edited February 28, 2019 by Okina

[mark clemson]

Hi, Okina - This sounds like it must have been REALLY bad. I think from what you describe you may wish to see both a (medical) doctor and a psychologist. If you choose to, be sure to give them the background/history and suggest that the pain and symptoms might be psychogenic. Then let them diagnose you. Hope you are able to have a full and speedy recovery.

[David33]

Hello, I'm glad you reached out to LS. You're on a site with hundreds of other people going through similar grief, loss and sadness. You're not alone. I agree with mark clemson, reach out to both a medical doctor and a psychologist. Keep doing what you're doing; yoga, eating good, going outdoors. Keep your mind active and move your body. I wish you the best.

[Cornputer]

Time will heal you. Your life is in your hands 100%, don't let someone ruin it. You will come out stronger in the end. Therapy would be a great option for you, it will help you get some clarity back.

[Turning point]

I know it sounds very dire but, I believe what you are going through can be turned around more easily than you might believe right now.

 

Could it be that any combination of these supplements you are taking are producing physical symptoms of anxiety? How do they work if your appetite and food intake is disrupted?

 

Some of what you describe is also consistent with acute depression (not uncommon after a breakup.) So, I suggest you also see a medical doctor in addition to finding a therapist.

 

Keep in mind that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Rather than end your pain, it simply guarantees you will never feel better.

[Senorheartbreak]

Ah buddy i know this pain. Sorry you are going through it. I was in a similar boat to you. Its been 9 months since and it was only after the 7 month mark where the clouds parted and i finally started to see a silver lining. Its still not easy but i have pulled myself together in the last two months and my mental health is leaps and bounds better.

 

Its good to see a therapist to work through any issues you may have. In the meantime do whatever you can to feel comfortable with you. Spend time with friends even if you arent doing anything special. It will keep your mind occupied.

 

Dont feel pressure to date. You will date when you are ready, theres no pressure to get into a relationship right now. Just keep focused on becoming the best you. Try mindfulness techniques when your mind wanders towards the relationship/breakup. The dates will pour in once your in a better place and it will be more likely to be a success because you have processed all the pain.

 

Honestly time is the best thing, in the meantime keep looking after yourself and just telling yourself how awesome you are and how the relationship isnt meant to be. I think faking it to yourself starts to work. Fake it till you make it.

 

Best of luck buddy.

[Peacemaker1]

Would you believe that spending time alone can have healing powers? Maybe not as much as therapy, meds and the other things you are doing but enjoying life by yourself creates a good foundation. Many older people whose spouse passed away are able to cope by understanding this. Consider doing things most people would not do by themselves. Going to a movie, a free concert, or a game, strolling at the mall or visiting a museum. I have done these. I also visit free arboretums. And even if I am happily married, with kids and great friends, I still do it occasionally, like once or twice a year. Depending on where you go, there is a cleansing quality to it, or sometimes, a confidence builder, and in others, it feels like a reboot. Just focus on the event or place, and take it in. Try it and see if it works for you.

[Highndry]

There isn't a woman on this earth that is worth killing yourself over. In fact, I'd venture to guess your ex isn't even that special. What you lost was your hopes and dreams. The good news is that you can develop new ones. Time is the only thing that heals. Keep on keeping on, brother...

[Okina]

This was the lowest point in my life, it happened just after everything calmed down. Then all the things I was suppressing surfaced. Now I'm in a much better place. Doing my own things, growing, and fixing my inner issues, that made me attract those kind toxic relationships.