Grisha Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 I am 24 years old and still living with my dad and sister. I don’t pay any rent which I have saved thousands of dollars over the years. My gf who I’ve been with for about a year broke up with me for a few months because she was depressed when her grandma died and her emotions were out of whack. We recently got back together and now about a month in she’s already talking about us moving in together. She wants to live with someone she knows well but her options are very limited. When she asked me if I wanted to get a place together I was very hesitant to answer and I said idk. The moment I did this I can see her mood change instantly and she stopped talking and the conversation died and she basically said she had to go.. I feel very bad because I understand her situation and she knows her and I get along very well and probably would be the best match as roommates (separate rooms) but I feel like that’s a huge step and honestly I’m living at my dads for free and I’m so close to saving enough to buy a home and not have to rent like she wants to.. I’m not sure how to go about this with her. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Talk to her about your plan & the finances. She seems like she wants to live with you for all the wrong reasons namely she wants to move out & needs a roommate. I would not try cohabitation under those circumstances. I would help her find a place for her to live with another woman so she gets out of where she is. Do not buy a house with her. That is too much of a commitment. If you buy the house, it would be OK to let her live with you & pay you some rent or at least a share of the utilities but don't put her name on the mortgage or the deed. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Talk to her about your plan & the finances. She seems like she wants to live with you for all the wrong reasons namely she wants to move out & needs a roommate. I would not try cohabitation under those circumstances. I would help her find a place for her to live with another woman so she gets out of where she is. Do not buy a house with her. That is too much of a commitment. Agreed with all of the above. OP, your history with this woman isn't anywhere near stable enough to live together. Please use sound judgement here and read your past threads to remind yourself of why you are rightly hesitating to make any further steps with her right now. Perhaps if you two manage to get back on track as a couple, for a solid year, you could re-evalute living together. As of right now, I think you it would be a huge mistake you would come to regret. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 It seems to me that the whole reason she got back together with you, was so that she could get a place to live. Explain your situation to her. Tell her you don't want to sign a rental lease when you're close to being able to buy. If you do buy (as mentioned do not buy jointly!) then she could move in with you. Let her help with the utilities, groceries etc but NOT the mortgage - that could give her more rights than you realise. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 Sounds like she was using you. You don't even owe her an explanation. She owes you an explanation and an apology for trying to use you. That her reaction changed instantly makes clear this suggestion was not about the relationship ... but was about money. Keep saving money, brother. There's no rush to moving in with someone and you don't want to do it to save another person money unless you are much much further along in the relationship ... and in that case, the person won't react as this woman reacted. Dump her. She's not good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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