Cornputer Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 (edited) I guess I’m trying to figure out what I’m feeling right now. I’m 20 and was stuck in a very toxic relationship since I was 14. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, so if I got any type of “love”, I’d grab onto it and not let go. I don’t feel like writing much about the relationship, but it was horrid nevertheless. He loved to see me cry. He never hurt me physically, but the emotional and mental torture, gosh, I am so glad it’s over. Yet we still had some beautiful times, years ago. We haven’t talked in a month. I found out he had been cheating on me. I found pictures of him and his ex at the ex’s grandpa’s last birthday. He never introduced me to anyone he knew or let me introduce him to people because he “was embarrassed of me”. But her ex’s family loves him. The mum calls him “son in law”. I was already moving on, but cheating was it for me. I was humiliated. I cried and after that was simply disgusted by him. I had no desire to text him. We didn’t text that much before that anyway, I believe it had been a month of silence or so. He still kept checking Whatsapp to see if I was online (I was the only contact he had), but yesterday he deleted his Whatsapp account. Today he deleted me from other apps. I deleted him, too. Yeah I should’ve done it before, but I wanted to see that he still thinks about me. I kind of felt “better” knowing that he can’t forget about me, that I still take up headspace. Quite pityful, I know. I feel very strange. I have been moving on. There is a good, kind guy I am very interested in. I know he is cruel and a pathetic manchild. I know his life is a terrible mess, but that doesn’t comfort me anymore. I wanted revenge so bad. Now it’s not what I need. I feel strange knowing that now, there’s nothing “connecting” us. We don’t even live in the same country. He’s gone. Edited March 2, 2019 by Cornputer Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 2, 2019 Share Posted March 2, 2019 Sounds like a blessing that the relationship is over and you are no longer in contact. It was a big part of your life so it's normal that you are going to feel weird adjusting. It will take a little time. There are lots of new and happier opportunities out there waiting for you, so enjoy thinking about the possibilities! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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