vla1120 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 Stupidly I was looking for what I found. I have to stop looking or I will never move on. Yes. You are only torturing yourself by continuing to look for information. What you have already found should be evidence enough that you do not need her in your life. Do not give her the satisfaction of "playing family." It's not fair to them, nor to you. Forge your own healthy relationship with them. Your only contact with her should be directly related to your children, and only when absolutely necessary. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happynsad Posted March 6, 2019 Author Share Posted March 6, 2019 I like the idea of not doing family things. The kids will just think there is chance we will get back together and I will just be miserable. I don't know what she hopes to get out of it other than me paying for stuff if we did things together. When the divorce talk first came up, she said she wanted to remain close like some celebrities, still vacation together etc. I thought she was insane. I would spend all the time with our kids and she would spend the entire time on her phone looking for men. I want zero to do with her unless it's child related. Thank you everyone! I think I will struggle for a while but it's got to get better. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 She's slept with 4 men in 8 months. She likes first date sex. She's also apparently out dating most nights. The math doesn't add up. Who is minding the children while she's out dating most nights? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happynsad Posted March 6, 2019 Author Share Posted March 6, 2019 We have shared parenting so she has many free nighs and she asks to let the kids spend the night with me at times on her nights because she is sick or has to clean. She has lots of free time. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 My wife and I were married 17 years and together 23. We separated and are close to being divorced. I have not thought about dating but my wife has been on tinder and bumble and has slept with 4 men in the last 8 months, all in first dates. She is extremely sexual with men which is in complete contrast to how our marriage was. I would never want her back but this just bugs me to no end. We have kids so will always be connected but I just feel like life would be much easier if I never had to see her again. Too much pain. How can this be so easy for a woman? I don't know but there's a saying that nothing kills a woman's sex drive like marriage. She has been lusting for other men for a long time and now she's free to explore her desires. It's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 Stupidly I was looking for what I found. I have to stop looking or I will never move on. Why? You don't still want her do you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happynsad Posted March 6, 2019 Author Share Posted March 6, 2019 Why? You don't still want her do you? No. I can't stand her anymore, however there is still something that bothers me after being together so long. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 I like the idea of not doing family things. The kids will just think there is chance we will get back together and I will just be miserable. I don't know what she hopes to get out of it other than me paying for stuff if we did things together. When the divorce talk first came up, she said she wanted to remain close like some celebrities, still vacation together etc. I thought she was insane. I would spend all the time with our kids and she would spend the entire time on her phone looking for men. I want zero to do with her unless it's child related. Thank you everyone! I think I will struggle for a while but it's got to get better. Keep everything separate. It may seem awkward upfront but the kids will adjust. Text or email only kids or business. You can cut contact even with kids. You have your time and she has hers. Stop any engagement. Pickup/drop offs limit to 3 minutes. No engagement. You can't then you'll just linger in this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Happynsad Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 Very true. I don't want to think about her/our marriage forever. Everytime we interact, my mind starts racing. Link to post Share on other sites
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