KellyFred Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 ok, So I really love this guy, we have been on and off for nearly 2 years. We have broken up a couple of times, the last time we did for 5 weeks me and him both was seeing other people. However recently, we had a big fight over a dinner he cooked me as I said i had already eaten at work, and he called me an ungrateful f* C*. So he then broke up with me. I have recently taken a gap year from uni, and started a job he said I'm a leach and should be paying rent to live at his mums then 300 when he moves into his house he bought. This guy is on a lot of money and me nothing. I pay for food and other things his mum needs and even her shopping! In my heart I know we may get back together however I know soon as I left he was chatting to girls online and even meeting them after what happened last time. He claims to love me even said he wanted to marry me a couple of weeks ago, but how can he move on so fast, doesn't even care I'm upset? he thought he could cancel our holiday in June without asking me...i just don't understand how you can love someone and then when you break up just start meeting new people straight away. help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 This sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. I don't think you should continue seeing him, much less ever consider marrying him. I think you should also find other living arrangements. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 You said you both started seeing other people last time yet you only broke up for 5 wks., l mean in only 5wks. So neither of you have much trouble at all moving on which alone says very very big stuff about any real , so called feelings between you. Add everything else going on and the on off for all this time. Yep , time to get out of this silly thing. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 A man would only need to call me an ungrateful f*c* and break up with me once before I never spoke his name or saw him ever again... Be glad he is chatting up other women. They can deal with his bad behaviour now... you realize that this was a really unhealthy relationship, right? I mean, really unhealthy... normal people in healthy relationships don’t say that stuff to each other, break-up repeatedly, and start seeing other people the moment the first relationship is done. That’s messed up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KellyFred Posted March 3, 2019 Author Share Posted March 3, 2019 its crazy, like he always said he loved me lots and he wanted to marry me. i was the only girl for him. but i never felt like he really did. like he called the police on me year ago as i asked if he was cheating on with with this girl my friend took a picture of them in a club. like when we are out, i see him look at women. his facebook is full of random women. but he says he loves me, he seems me all week, and rings me on the way home, so why can't i accept he loves me? help! Link to post Share on other sites
Author KellyFred Posted March 3, 2019 Author Share Posted March 3, 2019 ive seen loads of women like him and gave him their number, so is it just me? am i the one that is being silly and its all my fault? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 3, 2019 Share Posted March 3, 2019 its crazy, like he always said he loved me lots and he wanted to marry me. i was the only girl for him. but i never felt like he really did. like he called the police on me year ago as i asked if he was cheating on with with this girl my friend took a picture of them in a club. like when we are out, i see him look at women. his facebook is full of random women. but he says he loves me, he seems me all week, and rings me on the way home, so why can't i accept he loves me? help! Why can’t you accept that he love someone you... because your gut Ismail telling you to run... He calls you names, has called the police, and is not even discrete about his interest in other women... Pay attention to his actions, not his words. This guy says he loves you, but his actions tell you otherwise... Dude. What are you not understanding here. If you want an unhealthy relationship, and abusive marriage, and a future filled with drama... continue along this path. You are well on your way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 Your'e young. He's probably all you know or at least what you know most. Unfortunately, this view you have of relationships & love is very unhealthy. The break up make up pattern is dysfunctional. Let this break up be the last. For heaven's sake you broke up because you already ate. His reaction to call you what he called you was totaled uncalled for. Like others have said, that is one of those things, that once said can't be taken back. It's also one of those things that you don't get a second chance. Somebody called me that & I'd be gone. The fact that on your last "break" you were both able to find new partners within a 5 week period makes me question just how deeply your connection runs. Since you presently live with his mother, do pay rent for now but make a real plan to move out soon, like by the end of this month. You are too reliant on his family Link to post Share on other sites
Author KellyFred Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Thank you everyone. the fact he calls me such names and call the police as he said i was harassing him on a night out, asking who the girl was and he thought i was going to smash his house up, to others does that seem like he doesn't love me? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 The minute the police are involved, it's over -- forever. There is no love. If this man is lying to the police about you, it's time to give up all hope. Walk away before you end up with a criminal record Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 its crazy, like he always said he loved me lots and he wanted to marry me. i was the only girl for him. but i never felt like he really did. like he called the police on me year ago as i asked if he was cheating on with with this girl my friend took a picture of them in a club. like when we are out, i see him look at women. his facebook is full of random women. but he says he loves me, he seems me all week, and rings me on the way home, so why can't i accept he loves me? help! Anyone can say that they love you. Words are words, if he treats you like crap he doesn't love you. Go by actions, not words.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 You remind yourself that social media is meaningless. In the 1970s he would have been reading Playboy. Even though there are real people on the other end of the computer it's still more about the pictures then cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 (edited) What do you mean by "he never puts his friends on private"? Also, reading your previous post about all the breakups, I would think that his internet use is the least of your problems. Why are you still with him? Edited March 11, 2019 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 (edited) Why are you still with him? Also my question. This thread is really another way to ask the same question - “How do I stay with my boyfriend when his behaviour is sketchy and I really don’t trust him?” The answer to that question is listen to your gut - if something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Gather your courage, take back your dignity, and end it. Edited March 12, 2019 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Yeah, all sounds pretty suss to me. About all l do on the internet in that way is just drop into a few places like LS , read around a bit , reply to a few , it's just my way of relaxing and gf is in and out all the time or often laying beside me anyway. l dunno why anyone legit would need to or even be bothered with social media and chasing new friends of the opposite sex and bs'g round. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KellyFred Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 he said he won't put his friends list on public so i can see as i stalk them and ask questions. that is another reason why he won't add me. i just feel like I wouldn't do that, yet he says its nothing and he just wants "likes" on pictures. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Social media is meaningless when you are in a committed, healthy relationship. Why are you so focused on social media? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 its crazy, like he always said he loved me lots and he wanted to marry me. i was the only girl for him. but i never felt like he really did. like he called the police on me year ago as i asked if he was cheating on with with this girl my friend took a picture of them in a club. like when we are out, i see him look at women. his facebook is full of random women. but he says he loves me, he seems me all week, and rings me on the way home, so why can't i accept he loves me? help! People say all sorts of things. You cannot assume they are true. What matters is how he treats you. Does he treat you in a loving, kind way? It doesn't sound like it. It doesn't matter what he says, only how be treats you. He seems to need your attention but that is not love. Love is not getting angry with your partner and insulting her. He has a very mixed-up idea of what love is. How do you feel with him around - happy, free, relaxed, cared for? No? If you feel anxious, unhappy, fearful, or as if you are treading on eggshells, you are in a potentially abusive relationship. These don't usually get better. It would not be wise to get more embroiled in this relationship or dependent upon this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
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