Ekatarina76 Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 (edited) Hi all, I m new on here and going through a really terrible time. I met my ex last summer while travelling, and he persued me. Although at first I didnt believe in a relationship as we live 2000 km apart, he insisted and finished by convincing me, even coming over to see me in my country 3 weeks after the end of my holiday in his country. I went to see him five weeks later and he introduced me to his children. As it was more difficult for him to travel, i began to fly over to see him every couple of weeks for the week-end. Things seemed to be going well, and I got on with his children really well. However his ex (who was the mother of his children, and had left him 6 years before) was ever more present, calling all the time when I was there and texting him all the time. Early on in the relationship I asked him if he thought they could get back together, she is after all the mother of his kids. He told me they never would, and it was over since a long time. Well turns out, just before Christmas, she found an excuse to go to his place, and they spent the evening drinking and ended up having sex. He called and told me just after Christmas. He told me he wanted us to go on together and thats why he had told me. I was completely broken, because I never thought he would hurt me. He blamed his ex for trying to break us up, but it takes two to have sex, no? I accepted to give it an other chance, and went to see him for new year as planned. We spent time together, and started rebuilding and communicated a lot. At the same time he said things about me which were so hurtful, when I feel he should have been trying to make me feel good about myself. After spending a little over a week with him, I came home and back to work. I was feeling very insecure and unsure of the future. We spoke on the phone, but I needed him to reassure me. I am a strong person, but it was really hard to know she was in the same place as him and I was 2000 km away. That first week back home, he told me he was going to go spend the night at some girls place, which upset me. He said he couldnt deal with my insecurity, that it was over and that there was no turning back. He was the one who cheated two weeks before, and the insecurities I was feeling were solely caused by his infidelity. We hung up, i wrote him one last text telling him I loved him but that I wouldnt bother him. Two weeks later, he sent me a text saying that he had sent my things back. He said we could talk if I wanted to. But the way he phrased it, it was like he was doing me a big favour talking to me. Also I was to upset to speak in the phone. I replied that we could talk at a later date, but for now I needed space. When I got my things through the post, it really hurt, like an other break up. He couldn’t get rid of my things fast enough. 6 weeks after the break up, I changed my profile picture on WhatsApp. WhatsApp is our only onlline communication as he is not on social media. About a day later he had blocked me on WhatsApp. I know its silly, but it hurt so badly. I hadnt been bothering him, I was just rebuilding myself from one of the worst heartaches of my life. And I was blocked like he was the victim. I am so sad and upset and hurt! I feel hurt by everything he keeps doing: cheating, breaking up, then blocking. I feel its really cruel to keep on hurting me more and more, when all I did was be a loyal girlfriend. Why do you think hes doing this? Why did he break up after I forgave him for cheating? Why did he block me when I told him I just needed space for a little while? Edited March 4, 2019 by Ekatarina76 Post too long Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 I am so sad and upset and hurt! I feel hurt by everything he keeps doing: cheating, breaking up, then blocking. I feel its really cruel to keep on hurting me more and more, when all I did was be a loyal girlfriend. Why do you think hes doing this? Why did he break up after I forgave him for cheating? Why did he block me when I told him I just needed space for a little while? Because cheating was the sign that he didn't actually want to be with you anymore. You might have forgiven him, but it doesn't change the fact that he chose to step out to begin with. People who put themselves in such situations, as he did, really aren't on the same page as their partners. Notice how openly hostile he became after you forgave him? This was a guy who didn't quite have the stones to break up with you yet, but no longer wanted the relationship. He might have blocked you for a few reasons. It could be that his ego talking and attempting to punish you for not talking to him on his schedule, or it could be that he's actually dating one of these women and she wanted him to block you. It sounds like you really dodged a bullet here. He isn't a decent man. I would spend time reflecting on why you wanted to overlook his infidelity, particularly when you haven't been together that long and don't often see each other. It seems that the idea of him was much better than the reality of him. It hurts, but I would let him keep you blocked. You risk getting your heart trampled on again with a tool like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Secondplanet Posted March 4, 2019 Share Posted March 4, 2019 My ex-wife tried the same mentality with me, While she didn`t tell me she was cheating she kept pressuring me to check her facebook messenger. It was all there plain as day and she was smiling while i was reading it cause she didn`t want to tell me for some reason. But after she finally stopped lying (if thats possible at this point) she came clean with some of what happened and she was leaving me for a crush from childhood. She kept telling me i needed to get myself together and that she can`t be around me cause i`m to emotional. When they cheat they always try to shift blame to the one they cheated on to feel better for what they did and shift the blame, you`re better without but again i`m not one to talk as i still long for my ex to come back to me even though i know i could never touch her again after what she did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ekatarina76 Posted March 5, 2019 Author Share Posted March 5, 2019 Thank you both for your answers and helping me see more clearly. ExpatInItaly, for some reason reading what you said just clicked and somehow has allowed me to let go. You’re right, he isn’t a decent man and I may just have got cought up in the idea of him and all the things he said to me at the beginning. Secondplanet, sorry you’ve been through that too. Yes I see it now how he tried to shift the blame. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 ExpatInItaly, for some reason reading what you said just clicked and somehow has allowed me to let go. You’re right, he isn’t a decent man and I may just have got cought up in the idea of him and all the things he said to me at the beginning. I'm glad you found my words helpful. Trying to make a relationship work with a guy who cheats is hard enough. Trying to make a long-distance relationship work with a guy is cheats is even harder, particularly when it sounds like you haven't actually spent a lot of time together in person and thus don't actually know his true character all that well. It's going to be so much better for you to forget this man. He is bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
magnet09 Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 So sorry about that experience ma'am,Sometimes you have to know whats going on in his head because rarely men tell you how they actually feel,here's a sample to assist you with that,,,,,https://b02b4c0as-1nbpal35v3k95z4l.hop.clickbank.net/ Link to post Share on other sites
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