Wife had a 5yr affair

[Buffer]

She kept asking me to withdraw our divorce. she kept telling me she made a mistake and she was meant to spend the rest of her life with me if I would let her. She cried all day when it was final. And She keeps telling me that she was just fooled by the other man. He was married and she knew it. I don’t want to look back when I’m old and remember what she did to me, so I knew I was out.

 

Well time to move forward

Yes it is sad when D is finalised, when one of the parties want R. Yet it is what both parties want or need to move forward.

In her mind it was a five year mistake, she was fooled and or manipulated for five years by a well off married man.

I think not. Five years of lying, five years of thinking of how to meet him over you, five years of denial of what the marriage needed so to preference her needs with MM.

Her tears are real, but for her stature in her family, as well as what she lost.

You are both young, time to move fwd, find a new partner to share you life with.

Learn from the past, to look at the future.

Your ExWW had five years to stop what she was undertaking, to move towards R. She chose not to. She new of the consequences of the A. Due to her family history.

 

Good luck.

[Turning point]

Ultimately, it's not the affair that forces us apart. Its the deception, and five years is a level of deception that few people could abide. Five years is not a mistake - it's a sustained effort and we know that intuitively.

 

Even if we can get past the sexual component of the affair, we can almost never get past the personality traits laid bare by the deception.

[usa1ah]

How are you doing willski 

[S2B]

She isn’t sorry she had a full on relationship with someone else outside your marriage - she is only sorry she’s had consequences for her blatant cheating.

 

staying in the marriage wouldn’t be a guarantee she would treat you right. 

 

Be glad you divorced her.

[Dimjo9]

On 3/4/2019 at 7:57 AM, Willski said:

I’ve been married 6yrs and My wife had a 5yr affair with her old boss that is 18yrs older than her I am 34 and she is 31 now. She used to work as his nanny and she said he would always tell her she was beautiful, one in a million, and that he would leave his family and marry her. She said they had sex once at his house while she was working as his naany and quit after it happened.

 

At first I thought something was off because she would have texts late at night and would hide her phone under her pillow when she slept, but never had any hard evidence. She would say it was his 8yr old daughter texting her but I would counter with at 12mn on a school night? Then when she quit she would have some comparisons with how I am and her old boss was. “Oh mr.x would always throw away clutter, mr.x doesn’t buy new cars, mr.x doesn’t doesn’t have a 75” tv. After a while I would always say “why are you mr.x’s girlfriend??” And she would say “ew that old guy gross”. On Jan.18th we were home and she said the hospital called her to come in, so I asked her if we can get intimate before she left and she said ok just make it quick. Quite a surprise to me since we only get intimate once a month or once every 6 weeks and everythime I initiate she would 95% of the time get mad and say she is tired for the passed 4yrs. She would never initiate.

 

So come Jan.19th she leaves her phone on the counter while she takes a shower. My instincts tell me to look in her phone. I look through her texts and calls, nothing out of the ordinary. I look at her pictures I found a selfie Jan.18th 1:30pm waring hospital scrubs and little makeup, then another selfie at 4pm full makeup, dangling earrings and date outfit. I go through her email inbox and nothing. I look in her email sent box and I find all the emails she sent him backed all the way to August 2018. Last email she sent him was on Jan.19th 8am “it was nice seeing you too honey. Hope you feel better. Enjoy hunting this weekend. Mwah!”.

 

I saw emails 3 emails where she asked him to make love to her and she even sent 3 nude photos to him. When I confronted her she denied until I showed her her emails (I took screen shots). Now she said she just liked the attention and they only met about 15 times since it started. Mr.x is very busy being a Vice President of a big company. Now she wants to reconcile and move on saying it was a big mistake and she has never done anything like this before. I knew her a long time and all her ex’s (5) just took advantage of her and disappeared. She was a really nice person, would never risk anything. Doesn’t drink, go to clubs or stay out late, perfect goody two shoes girl. So I wanted to be the man to treat her right. We we’re together 3yrs before I asked her to marry me, so I knew her quite well even before dating. I filed for divorce and she signed paperwork stating I keep our house, my money and my cars my lawyer drawer up. I pay for everything.

 

She only pays for groceries. Now she wants to reconcile and move forward. She really scared me because I thought I knew her 100% and now I find out she had another side to her I never knew. And the capability of the other side scares me. She says it was a mistake and regets ever cheating on me. It hurts to know she would always push me away but emailed the OM for sex. I told the OMs wife about it and she asked me to text and email her all the screen shots I took. She is a CFO at a very big hospital in my city. I feel lost and scared of being a lone again. Before her I was in a relationship for 9yrs and was engaged. And my wife and I have been together for 9yrs total as well.

 

My wife and I planed to have children in two years and she wants 3-4 kids all a year apart. Is she some psycho planning a life with me and having another secret life??

Hi Wilski,

Get out of the marriage while you still can.. the longer you stay, her grip on you will be so tight.. She knows your weak & easily persuaded..

If you want to stay with her, your life will be like a cuckold H (sorry for the word).. This will be forever or you rather be hurt, feel the pain but will be able to move forward..

We got only 1 life in the end you can’t rewind this or like a movie re-shoot the scene. 

Your W is mistress of Mr X, telling his wife won’t matter.. She probably knows & accepted it.. as long as H goes home every night “who cares”..

i will share an excerpt from INVICTUS “ i am the master of my faith, captain of my soul”..

YOU CHOOSE YOUR PATH - cuckold H for life or move forward & enjoy life.. 

 

[Dimjo9]

Hi Willski,

You did the right thing by getting rid of polluted people to be able to Inhale fresh air. You have the goods & kept almost whats yours.. 
 

Work to keep yourself physically fit & better yourself in areas that needs improvement. In our culture it’s widely belief that If u keep focus a replacement 101% better than your exW will come your way..

You will know its her because she will emit an aroma u can smell.. (Vanilla).. it will be love at 1st sight for you & u will have competition to her heart.. Thats why fitness is very important train hard..

The spear of pain that your exW thrust into your heart & soul only she can remove. A lady with a pure heart.. The more u get to know her u will feel better each day..

If u pass the eye of the needle & capture her heart she’s the “one”- your soul mate.. Your exW will know & everyday u are spending time with her she will slowly be dying inside..

If she happens to re-marry or enter into a new relationship “so as we reap we shall sow” will be hers & the OM..

Again congratulations on your new life !!

[Honest_Interest]

What happend to the OP and his wife? did she dump and ruin him??