Marriage hastened for immigration reasons

[jnr586]

I posted on this topic a couple of months ago. I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. I'm American and he's Irish. We met in the US while he was here working. We clicked instantly and everything has been wonderful between us. He went back to Ireland in December with plans to return to his previous company on a different visa in January. For reasons beyond the scope of this post (related probably to the current immigration climate; nothing to do with him, per se), the visa did not work out.

 

For a long time now I've seen this relationship headed toward marriage (we are in our 30s). We've met each others' family and friends. We basically lived together for the last 6 months he was here. We communicate well. We are attracted to each other physically, emotionally, mentally. It just works.

 

I had no idea how complicated the immigration process is. He's searched for other ways to get over here and, after meeting with an attorney, marriage seems like the surest way for us to be together. And even that would be months until he could move back here. My friends who know him say it's a no-brainer. My parents who have met him twice and like him think it's a mistake and a terrible basis for a marriage (though I don't see an easy way that we can be together otherwise).

 

I'm looking for people who have married for similar reasons. A relationship that has been healthy with someone who is good and kind and compatible. For reasons out of their control, they were driven apart and got married sooner than they would have otherwise considered. Did it work out? How did it affect your relationship?

 

I'm looking for relationship advice/experience. I am not looking for legal advice. Because of my job I am not able to relocate out of the country. We want to be in the US.

 

Thank you!

[Wallysbears]

Marrying someone for a Visa is silly. It is even lower on the 'good idea" chart then simply marrying someone because of pregnancy. I would suggest you find a better way to date and get to know each other than just jumping into marriage.

[Artdeco]

If you’re sure about everything else, and you have dated and lived together, meaning that you can be sure about the relationship and marriage, then yes, getting married will be the fastest way. However, he will still have to interview at the consulate in Ireland, and you have to file the necessary paperwork, basically showing that you make enough money for supporting him in the even that he needs to apply for government support (unemployment and such), within the next 10 years; based on that documentation, he’ll get a temporary green card. Not sure how long that takes these days, though.

 

In the past it was quite common for couples to get married in the US, though, spontaneously, after the foreign spouse traveled here on a tourist visa; they did not have to leave the country while their case was processed, and it was generally a quicker process. The foreign spouse just had to adjust their immigration status, which means applying for a green card without leaving the U.S. Its not the proper way to do it, without a fiancé visa etc., or getting married abroad (Ireland in your case), but as long as no visa fraud was committed (which means traveling here on a tourist visa, while planning to get married), there weren’t any issues. Not sure whether or not this is still an option with our current administration. They might have abolished that spontaneous wedding thing altogether, and people might get sent home during the green card application process.

Edited March 7, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quote

[Mr. Lucky]

I'm American and he's Irish. We met in the US while he was here working. We clicked instantly and everything has been wonderful between us. He went back to Ireland in December with plans to return to his previous company on a different visa in January.

 

Had you been together a few weeks or months, my answer would be "no way".

 

But because you're right on the edge of the 12-month "four seasons" rule, were I you I'd proceed with marriage plans. Many couples without similar visa issues get engaged after a year, so what you're proposing isn't really that unusual.

 

What would be your plan on the off chance marriage didn't solve the immigration issues?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Whatitistoburn]

I can somewhat relate to this. My husband and I met the same way. Because I couldn’t get a visa, he decided to move here. We got married and are still together 12 years later. It was a short engagement but we were very sure about each other. Our marriage wasn’t without issues but they’re common issues with married couples ( mostly stemming from our differences as individuals). Maybe ours was just a fluke. Together, we really just decided to take a chance and we have No regrets.

 

Before we got married, he told me if our relationship wont work out, we’d still be friends. We felt that instant connection, fell madly in love and just wanted to be together so we did what we could to be together and years later, to stay together. It hasn’t been so easy but we’re still here!

 

And yes, he’s a great man who’s put up with me and all my flaws. His friends and family thought it was a crazy idea but he did it anyway.

 

I wish you the best. x

Edited March 8, 2019 by Whatitistoburn

[Turning point]

I don't think it's a good idea to rush this - listen to your parents.

 

What's more REAL - a husband who took all the steps necessary to get a visa and marry you or a man who got you to marry him so he could get a visa?

 

YOU don't have a wedding problem - HE has an immigration problem. Don't start blurring the lines because how he deals with this and you getting the whole documented truth about what the hold-up is really matters.

 

Ireland is a country that allows dual citizenship. Not that it matters for your purpose but, it would if this goes really badly. 12 months of bliss is short compared to the rest of your life.