Dealing with low self confidence after having a baby.

[TheRainbow]

I've had given birth to two children within a little less than a year of each other. I was 125 to 130 when I got pregnant with my second, I gained about 20 pounds, and I didn't lose all of that before I got pregnant with my now 2-month-old daughter. I weighed myself today and I weigh 165 pounds. This is probably the heaviest weight I've ever been to. I need to lose at least 10 pounds to get to a healthy weight. I've just been so depressed, eating foods I shouldn't and not really exercising. My husband tells me every day I'm attractive but I just can't help it. I'm starting to watch what I eat, but it's so hard with how much stress I've been under.

[Wallysbears]

You are only 2 months postpartum and had a baby in the NICU, etc. do not stress over the weight stuff at this juncture. Seriously. Focus on you and the baby and your family. The weight will come off. You've put your body through a lot in the past year or so with 2 pregnancies. Give it time.

[TheRainbow]

I know. I just don't want to leave it to become worse. I just so many women who let them self go, and I just don't want to be one of them. I want to be a positive role model, eat healthy and exercise.

[Wallysbears]

I'm saying this with love...perhaps talk to your doctor about postpartum depression. You're way too soon post pregnancy to be giving a whole lot of worry to your weight. And if it is weighing on you a great deal, it may be a form of partpartum depression manifesting itself that way.

[TheRainbow]

I'm saying this with love...perhaps talk to your doctor about postpartum depression. You're way too soon post pregnancy to be giving a whole lot of worry to your weight. And if it is weighing on you a great deal, it may be a form of partpartum depression manifesting itself that way.

 

I have postpartum depression and they just upped my medication after I decided to stop breastfeeding. I guess it's just waiting for it to adjust.

[Wallysbears]

Hang in there! How is the baby?

[divegrl]

Hi!!!

 

I know my friend, I experienced this as well. It’s so tough because you want to be joyful and happy. But it’s also hard seeing our bodies change so much.

 

Sending love and hugs. And a good nights sleep.

[TheRainbow]

I've taken a few weeks to just de-stress, take care of my self emotionally and the baby, but I still let myself go. I weighed myself on Thursday and I weighed in at 170 pounds. So I'm making it one of my goals, to eat healthier, and to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. My husband may think I'm attractive, but I need to feel good.

[TheRainbow]

ugh. I weighed myself again tonight after I struggled to put on a dress that pre-pregnancy was big. I am at 176 pounds. I am fat. I feel gross. I'm going to stop letting myself go. I feel so unattractive, so gross and not in shape. I'd love to lose at least 40 pounds.

[mrs rubble]

Some antidepressants can cause weight gain, I saw my son gain a load of weight on them. Now that he's off them, the weight is falling off him.

I suggest you drink lots of water and get out for a walk every day, this will help.

[preraph]

It's too soon. This is the time to balance taking care of the kids with just trying to take care of yourself but not being overly ambitious. Just try to make small unstressful changes. Probably the amount of energy you'll run off taking care of the kids will be some exercise and eventually pay off for you. Like maybe you just try to eat healthy food, but not worry about calories. Try not to live on fast food. Even a frozen dinner complete with a piece of meat and a nonpotato veg or a Callendar's pot pie is going to serve you better than a Whopper. Drink 1% milk and as much as you want to fill in for a snack. Keep V8 and fruit juice on hand when you can't keep going to the store to keep fresh fruit and vegs.

 

I like a McDonald's $1.49 breakfast burrito some mornings when I'm on the run. It's small but has good protein.

 

It's just too soon to expect miracles, so just small easy convenient changes until such time as you feel able to do more and your body does too.

 

Cook a good meal maybe once a week and have the father cook one or grill something, enough to eat leftovers.

 

It's just a fact that having babies changes our bodies. Don't beat yourself up.

[TheRainbow]

I do 90% of the cooking because I cook better and eat out maybe once a week. I just haven't been working out as much as I should, and snacking, and I know I need to stop. I do know the pregnancies so close together didn't help. I also have to remind myself that I'm older and not twenty two years old I was when I had my oldest.

[JuneL]

Taking care of a baby plus a toddler in addition to other housework is already great workout. Just cut down on bad carbs and bad fat; snacking can be the worst.

[spiderowl]

You are two months postpartum and you are worried about your weight? Caring for a baby (well two babies in your case) is so demanding that I would have though that would be the last thing on your mind. This constant worry about weight could be part of the depression itself.

 

Just eat normally, avoid the highest fat/carb foods, and forget about your weight. You need to be looking after yourself (emotionally) and your babies. Try and get what rest you can (I do know how hard this is).

 

Are you enjoying spending time with your babies? Do you have friends around who can come and chat with you while you are caring for others? Being a new mother can be very lonely.

 

Honestly, you should not be worrying about your weight at the moment. You need to be taking care of yourself emotionally. I suffered from post-natal depression with my two babies too. Each time, it lasted around a year. I am pretty sure it was due to hormonal changes as well as lack of sleep. A Health Visitor who came to see me was so lovely. She listened and was supportive. She told me to 'do something nice for myself every day', whether it was eating a treat, getting myself something nice, getting others to support me so I could have a scented bath, or whatever. It was a nice thing to say and made me realise I needed care too. Unfortunately, new mums rarely get cared for apart from sometimes in the first few days.

 

You take a real hit with early motherhood, especially if you have depression too. This is the time to remember that you are a good person doing their best who also has needs. Treat yourself as someone who deserves to feel good and be cared for. Try to find a few nice moments in the day when you are not serving someone else's needs.

 

It sounds like you have a good husband who genuinely loves you. Let him support you when he can. Be kind to yourself.