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Are these good signs...?


Donburi

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Hi LoveShack, its me again. Its almost been 6 months now that me and ex have been broken up...some days it feels like just yesterday, other days its like its been years. I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about.

 

Nothing has changed, probably because I have made no changes. My ex is still very hurt inside, and still does not know what to do. I have attempted, pathetically I might add, at NC. Now, we see eachother two days a week at the very least for school (yes, we take TWO classes together, completely his idea!) So, that itself I have to wonder a bit, could that be in any way a GOOD sign? I mean, you wouldn't want to take classes with an ex whom you planned on STAYING ex's with...right? Argh, no clue on my part.

 

I guess the only few things I have to update on is the other day I was being sneaky and looking at his comp stuff, pictures and whatnot (he was sitting at the other side of the room so I wasn't being totally intrusive) but then I ran into some aim conversations...oh boy. I regretted reading those. There is this one girl I mentioned in my other post that he "flirts" with on myspace, I'm guessing he had a crush on her or some sort. Well, he has this convo with one of his buddies and its talking about how this girl is so cute and funny, how she gives him butterflies, blah blah. It was old, around July, but still. Not fun to read. Then another conversation (much more recent) is him talking to someone else about ANOTHER girl on his myspace about how hot she was...arghh. Well, of course I start crying (he fell asleep at this point) and I woke him up by doing so. He asks what was wrong, I tell him what I did, and he gets a little peeved. He goes back to bed (oh yeah I've slept over a few times, but he sleeps on the couch :() and I sobbingly do the same. Morning comes, I still feel icky inside so I quickly head out. He follows me to my car (which he always does anyway when I leave) and asked if I wanted to talk or anything, to which I said no thanks. So, I get home and go online to try to take my mind off of things and he texts me asking if I was sure if there was anything I wanted to talk about. So, I give in and I first apologize for being a snoop. He didn't even seem to mind about that anymore and genuinely acted concerned about my feelings. He reassured me that there was nothing going on between him and those girls, yes he did find them attractive, but it was nothing more then that. He said he was just having "guy" talk. It kinda made sense to me, maybe he was trying to give off the impression to his buddies that he was doing ok? I dunno. We both signed off eventually and I took a nap, and I was woken up to him calling. He wanted to know how I was doing, and I said not too good, because I felt like I finally had to start realizing it was over between us and he seemed shocked. He said he still hurts alot inside and can't give me any concrete answers, but said that we very well might get back together...

 

I guess another thing I could mention is some of his friends strongly believe my ex will eventually take me back. They said it will most likely happen after we move to Japan (next year), because it will be easier to start fresh there. I guess that makes sense to me.

 

So I guess I was wondering if any of these things were good or at least ok signs? I do not think he keeps me around as a backup plan, because he has told me to not wait for him and to do whatever makes me happy. He said he would like it if I did wait for him, but would not want me to pass up any oppurtunities that came along...I love this man very much, and I know he is still hurting inside. Its been 6 months and he still can't even touch me. Tonight when he was walking me out to my car I asked if it was ok to hug him and he apologized and said the idea of touching me is still too painful...

 

So, it seems obvious that he wants me around but he does not want to date yet. Is waiting really all I can do? I guess I am just wondering if there was anything I could do to show I was worthy of getting another chance....

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Hotdiggitydammit

I knew it was you because you hotdiggitydammit never use periods in your sentences. You always use commas and have run on sentences till the end of time. From the beginning I knew it was you. Those F*&Cking commas.

 

NC equals NC. I got other s7ht to worry about.

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You are young you have an entire

life ahead of you. Things may seem dark

right now but this is just one person in the

world of millions of possibilities. Don't get hung

up on ONE. Let go. You will have many many

new and rich opportunities as you grow as a person

and learn about yourself. If you grow and be a great person, you will attract great people into your life.

Now, the best way to handle this is COMPLETE NC. Why, because you are expending valuable mental energy on a relationship that was broken somehow. Move forward. You will find love again and the sooner you are able to let go the sooner you will be rewarded with new loving experiences even better than the last.

 

regards

 

mike

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Hotdiggitydammit

You too will get an epiphany and those other questions too, will be answered. Let him be, when you find the time is right, tell him what they are.

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I knew it was you because you hotdiggitydammit never use periods in your sentences. You always use commas and have run on sentences till the end of time. From the beginning I knew it was you. Those F*&Cking commas.

 

NC equals NC. I got other s7ht to worry about.

 

 

what the hell are you talking about? why are you talking to yourself?

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