Movingon4good Posted March 5, 2019 Share Posted March 5, 2019 My situation is an odd one - my boyfriend of 5 years told me he wanted a break. I'm not even sure what that means, but that was 8 days ago, and I haven't heard from him since. It was a rocky first few years - he totally pursued me in the beginning of the relationship. Told me right away he loved me and wanted me forever. After a few months, he started pulling away - not texting as much, only wanting to see me once a week etc. It was confusing to say the least, and I couldn't understand what was happening. Oh, some back story - he is much older than I am. 17 years older. He is a doctor and respected in his profession. I am a professional and respected in mine, but I do feel he looks down on me a bit. There were times during the relationship he wanted to date other women, and we actually broke up over it for a bit, but he always comes back. And I always take him. I thought it was love, but started to see it was my own inadequacy that took him back. About a year ago, he contacted me, and I ignored him. For over a month. He showed up at my job, heartbroken, and told him he had changed. I told him one more chance, but things had to be different. So, this last year has been great. No major issues, he texts often, and tells me he loves me. I asked him what changed. He said he didn't change, his behavior changed. Suddenly, we got into an argument about something mundane. We were getting together with friends for his 63rd birthday, and our friends canceled their plans to make sure they were there for this party. I was actually skiing and made plans to come home early. He decided he didn't want to go, and made some lame excuse that his sons wanted to take him out instead. I knew that wasn't it, and I pressed him on it, but he didn't seem to care that our friends were hurt, as well as myself. He finally said he just didn't feel like going, and I said that made more sense then the sons going to dinner excuse, because I knew that had already taken him to dinner. He got upset with me, didn't answer any texts while I was skiing, and when I got home he told me he wanted a break. That was 8 days ago. So, I went No contact, and I haven't contacted him since. I told him I loved him, but I did not want to be with someone who did not love me back. So, here I am, confused, hurt, angry, and a little lonely perhaps. I'll take any advice or encouragement to keep going. I know I can keep no contact - its parsing through the feelings left behind that stings quite a bit. Any thoughts for me? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 You need to get off this merry-go-round once and for all. There is no future with this man. Get rid of him for good, and sit with your thoughts for a good long while. Try to understand why you kept taking this person back when he showed you plenty of times that he is not committed to you. Also, rethink your definition of love. It sounds like you already are, but know that what kept you two together wasn't love. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 Let this break be a permanent break up This guy has been using you & toying with your emotions for years. You are hanging on for the prestige & out of fear. The whole thing is so unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 6, 2019 Share Posted March 6, 2019 I read some of your previous posts and you have been Moving On 4 Good from him since 2017. When are you going to really move on? Link to post Share on other sites
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