cannedham65 Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 A little background, we have been dating for 1 1/2 and being exclusive after 2 month of dating. her friend asked her to be her wing woman as she is trying to find a partner. I travel a lot for work and she is a busy professional as well. Frankly, I have tons of mixed feelings here and could you use a little feedback. A. Would a GF ask another GF to be a wing woman knowing she is in a relationship? B. How is the wing woman thing work anyway with women? It's usually a tactic for men as guys are still expected to approach a woman and most men are happy as a clam when a woman initiates a conversation, so why the "wing woman" status? C. Is her GF trying to sow dissent between us? D. Is it my GF indirect manner to tell me that's she wants to move on? Obviously, there is a heart to heart to be had with each other in the near future but I would like to understand the situation better before starting the conversation. Thanks, Guys
Wallysbears Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 Or, her friend just wants to be able to go out with someone and may not have other GF's that she can go out with. Plus perhaps your GF is a good judge of character and can make sure her friend isn't getting wrapped up with losers? 3
kendahke Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 we have been dating for 1 1/2 and 1 1/2 what? months? years? A. Would a GF ask another GF to be a wing woman knowing she is in a relationship? Yes--why not? What does the relationship have to do with keeping an eye on her friend? B. How is the wing woman thing work anyway with women? It's usually a tactic for men as guys are still expected to approach a woman and most men are happy as a clam when a woman initiates a conversation, so why the "wing woman" status? That's a question you need to ask your girlfriend because the definition is different for whichever woman you're talking to. It's her definition that should concern you, not ours. C. Is her GF trying to sow dissent between us? That's rather paranoid of you--why would she be doing that? What have you done to put her friend off to this point? No behavior happens in a vacuum... D. Is it my GF indirect manner to tell me that's she wants to move on? Has she told you this or behaved in a a way before this came up? Why would she be looking to get rid of you after 1 1/2 whatevers? Obviously, there is a heart to heart to be had with each other in the near future but I would like to understand the situation better before starting the conversation. We can't help you because we're not in her head and it's her answers that matter most, not ours. 1
losangelena Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 I think you’re overreacting a bit, OP. A wingwoman is someone who goes out with you and makes meeting men easier. Your gf is going to help her friend, not pick up dudes with her. 1
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2019 Posted March 7, 2019 You are overacting. What the hell are you worried about? She can't go out with her friend and socialize? She might me someone? Man you lack confidence in your relationship. If you say you trust her, then why are you here?
Peacemaker1 Posted March 9, 2019 Posted March 9, 2019 I’m just here to share some opinion and not to rile up anyone. I agree that you might be going a little bit on the paranoid side, especially on C and D. However, I do not blame you for your caution. I know people to whom this has happened although I have not heard of a monicker of wingwoman or whatever. It was actually a married sister who accompanied her single sister. She met a guy and he naturally brought someone with him to keep married sister company. They all knew she was married. But, is she just supposed to stare at this guy all night? Of course, they enjoyed the company, flirting here and there. They enjoyed their drinks and he charmed her and she got knocked up. These things happen. You avoid disaster by eliminating the possibility of a disaster as much as you can. When your gf is in the thick of it, her judgment can get clouded until it’s too late. Best thing is that her friend should get a wingwoman who is available. Otherwise, just keep your fingers crossed. 2
darkmoon Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 she needs a going-out buddy, who should be single too 1
Turning point Posted March 10, 2019 Posted March 10, 2019 (edited) Ok, so I'll be the one to placate your fears. There is a significant disconnect between being in a committed relationship and venturing out on an expedition where the stated purpose is to "pick up men." Socializing is one thing, "cruising" is something else entirely. I'd be more concerned if you were married, but I think it's worth getting real on this issue and finding out just what this exploit means for you girlfriend. How many other women are coming along for support? Is your girlfriend the only one? How is she planning to handle the men that will be responding to her as well? Is she so duplicitous that she can string them along and dump them cold... or is this all going to be too much fun to pass up as the stakes get higher? I don't think control should be your goal here, as others have said. You can't build a fence high enough to keep her contained anyway, and you'll make yourself unattractive if you try. However, it's perfectly acceptable to explore what this whole "wing girl" role means to your girlfriend and if she's truly who you believe she is. My gut tells me (sort of like yours) if this was truly innocent - there would have been no reason to even mention it to you. It's kind of an odd thing to bring up - more like a cover story? Edited March 10, 2019 by Turning point
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