Author Pinknyc Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 I know it's not rational. JuneL- based on his real age, he would only be 9 years older. Snipercatt- did some more research and the wife is also a doctor at the same hospital, and the apt is within walking distance of what seems to be his real address. There is much collective knowledge here, so I wonder, do other married men (who pretend to be single) engage in this many lies, i.e., first and last name, use another doctor's name in the same specialty to weave a different background life story, etc. Is it the extent of lies that is more indicative of something more sociopathic or some have referred to as predatory? Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 When any date leads with the lies... it’s a no go for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Is it the extent of lies that is more indicative of something more sociopathic or some have referred to as predatory? We'll have to perform a lobotomy to get you a definitive answer on that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Yes, some married men go to crazy lengths not to get found out, especially those who have a reputation in the local community and a professional accreditation to think of. It's a lot more common than you think. Flat near house = convenience. His colleague may be providing him with his alibi for all you know. No one here can tell you about his actual state of mind. The point is that he lied to you. It's driving you to the point of doing shady stuff yourself. This is not a healthy path to take for you. It's not about taking the high road, or saving his wife or whatever else; at this point, it's about protecting your mental and emotional health. Stepping away from this mind**** is for your own good, OP. No closure or explanation needed. You already know what went down. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 OP: Do you have kids? How would you advise your daughter in such a situation? If you don’t have a daughter, how about your niece or any young woman close to you? You just love the idea of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Snipercatt Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Beware the insidious designs of the charismatic social predator. Social (and sexual) manipulators have had years of practice hiding their darker traits. Many such people share another dangerous feature: They are smart enough to pull off the disguise. I will use the term "social predator" here to refer to these most stealthy offenders, although the categories of offense can blur. Social predators can certainly engage in sexual misconduct; on the other hand, they may do nothing whatsoever that meets the legal standard for offense. The commonality is that they prey on victims' emotions or resources, either for their own gain or simply because they enjoy doing so. The above is taken from Psychology Today “. . . simply because they enjoy doing so.” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah2 Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Is it the extent of lies that is more indicative of something more sociopathic or some have referred to as predatory? he's probably neither a sociopath nor a predator - he lied because he wanted to present himself in a different light, knowing you'll refuse him in the beginning knowing he is a doctor - he lied about the other things because he didn't want u to find out he was married. people... lie. it does not make them sociopaths, predators - he was looking for a relationship so he lied in order to get more women in a dating pool. i believe he was going to tell u the truth later on, when the relationship has gotten serious. keep your head up and faith strong and keep looking. you'll find a good man. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Why are we wasting our valuable time trying to formulate a medical diagnosis for some lying dude? As if it matters. As if there aren't gazillions more just like him on every dating site. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 I wonder if the younger doctor whose identity this sociopath has claimed can pursue legal action against the sociopath, if he ever finds out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LIRR88 Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 Wow, this whole thing is creepy, sounds like a lifetime movie. This reminds of what happened to my cousin years ago. She was dating a guy that lived in Virginia and she here in NY. She would go visit him on weekends mostly. Turns out he had another girlfriend that would stay with him during the week, he was so skilled at his cheating that he would take pictures of all the rooms showing how each woman would leave the things organized so he could rearrange everything the exact same way when they’d stay with him. The lengths some guys will go to is scary. Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 I wonder if the younger doctor whose identity this sociopath has claimed can pursue legal action against the sociopath, if he ever finds out. Maybe I skipped over an important piece but is it possible he is who he says and is using a friends apartment? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 Maybe I skipped over an important piece but is it possible he is who he says and is using a friends apartment? There’s probably a picture in the guy’s hospital profile. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 he's probably neither a sociopath nor a predator - he lied because he wanted to present himself in a different light, knowing you'll refuse him in the beginning knowing he is a doctor - he lied about the other things because he didn't want u to find out he was married. people... lie. it does not make them sociopaths, predators - he was looking for a relationship so he lied in order to get more women in a dating pool. i believe he was going to tell u the truth later on, when the relationship has gotten serious. keep your head up and faith strong and keep looking. you'll find a good man. This is exactly it. Why do people wear their brains out trying to assign a medical diagnosis to their behavior. They are just people who have no guilt in lying to get what they want. OP what is there to figure out here? Once you found out he was married nothing else matters. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pinknyc Posted March 13, 2019 Author Share Posted March 13, 2019 IfWishes / JuneL -- There was no hospital picture for the doctor whose full name was used (that's why I could not verify), however, there is one under his real name. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 IfWishes / JuneL -- There was no hospital picture for the doctor whose full name was used (that's why I could not verify), however, there is one under his real name. That’s exactly what I meant. We’re eager to know how you have handled terminating things with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolita888 Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 (edited) I know it's not rational. JuneL- based on his real age, he would only be 9 years older. Snipercatt- did some more research and the wife is also a doctor at the same hospital, and the apt is within walking distance of what seems to be his real address. There is much collective knowledge here, so I wonder, do other married men (who pretend to be single) engage in this many lies, i.e., first and last name, use another doctor's name in the same specialty to weave a different background life story, etc. Is it the extent of lies that is more indicative of something more sociopathic or some have referred to as predatory?Thought so, his wife works on the same fields which means they can both be very busy at the same time or one of them has busy times while the other one is free. His wife is probably at her busy moment that's why he had lots of free time to mess around. But once both of them is no longer busy, he will talk to you less and spend more time with her to make up for their time. I think he lied to you about his name because if you google his real name, then there is a chance for you to find out which hospital he worked for and everything about his professional life and his wife. He is being careful just in case you ended up causing a scandal for him which will affect his and his wife's reputation at the hospital they work in. So if you have doubts about whether he may really be separate then, just think of that... he wouldn't be lying if they are separated, he was lying because he doesn't want to be found out - he wouldn't want to damage their marriage. And even if it's true... him lying to you should creep you out already. And yes they will go to that extent of lying. My exMM also went to such length to keep his marriage a secret from me - enough that he shared all of the information about him. Spent whole day and night on cam when we weren't together. Believe me, I know how hard it is for you right now. Think of it in positive way: At least you found out sooner. It may hurt right now and you may still be still in disbelief even after weeks has passed. You may feel that it was such a waste that all of the feelings and (dreams) you thought was "Real" is actually fake. The man you thought was the one is actually a fake. It will hurt A LOT and will make you feel sad. But it will past. You will be able to find one better than that liar. Edited March 13, 2019 by lolita888 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 Somebody should notify the innocent doctor that his name and information is being misused. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 OP: Any updates?? Link to post Share on other sites
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