Help! My boyfriend moved away

[T-girl]

Help, my boyfriend of 8 months moved to Australia yesterday. I am heartbroken. I feel like he died. For the last month, he has lived with me, and we have done everything together. We went out every day and night, always having fun. We were seriously the perfect couple. And to make things worse, I didn't stay in touch with my friends very much, and now hearing from them, they haven't done anything exciting lately. Which reminds me of how dull and uneventful my life will be from now on without him. I have thought about joining him in Sydney around January for a few months, but my mom is freaking out about me being so far(I'm from New York), and her nagging makes it even worse for me. I don't really know what to do,

 

I haven't really been eating, and I can't stop myself from crying all the time. I even cried at work today. I know he's probably misrable too, but it doesn't make things any better. I'm so afraid that I will never be truly happy again. Do you think I'm crazy for feeling this upset? If anybody has some advice or comforting words for me, it would be greatly appriciated.

 

Thanks very much,

 

Valerie

[Tony T]

Your boyfriend didn't think enough of you to try to work it out for you to go with him or for him to stay there with you.

 

Your boyfriend moved in with you so he could really bond with you...only ONE month before he had to leave. What a nice guy!!!

 

You didn't keep contact with your friends and now that you're trying to re-establish those friendships, you are finding your old buddies boring.

 

You feel like your life will go back to being dull and uneventful without this guy in your life.

 

You want to go to Sydney around January, after you have somewhat healed from your loss, to stay for two months so you can renew your loss and heartbreak when you have to come back. You really love yourself, don't you?

 

Well dear, let me tell you how it is. You can't depend on others to make your life exciting and fulfilling. You have to do that for yourself. That's a heavy burden to put on friends or lovers.

 

You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anybody else, including a lover, friends, etc.

 

There's a lot in life you need to work on. When you have gotten yourself together, when you can really love yourself and the life you create for yourself...all by yourself...love will come into your life on a permanent basis.

 

It is basically suicide to put all your apples into one lover to the exclusion of friends and other aspects of your life. They come and go fairly rapidly, as you are experiencing now. Learn to depend on yourself for happiness and have friends and lovers be frosting on the cake.

 

If you are finding life with your friends dull and uneventful, look in the mirror to find the cause. If you are miserable because you put everything you had into this one guy, look in the mirror to see who's responsible.

 

I know you want to be with your guy in Austrailia and that should be easy enough. But I promise you, babe, eventually you will find life with him and anybody else dull until you, YOURSELF, become an exciting person who loves herself and is comfortable and complete being with herself.

[sparkle]

I totally agree with everything Tony wrote.

 

And I'm really curious about why your boyfriend went to Australia, and how long ago did you find out about it?

[Patty]

Help, my boyfriend of 8 months moved to Australia yesterday. I am heartbroken. I feel like he died. For the last month, he has lived with me, and we have done everything together. We went out every day and night, always having fun. We were seriously the perfect couple. And to make things worse, I didn't stay in touch with my friends very much, and now hearing from them, they haven't done anything exciting lately. Which reminds me of how dull and uneventful my life will be from now on without him. I have thought about joining him in Sydney around January for a few months, but my mom is freaking out about me being so far(I'm from New York), and her nagging makes it even worse for me. I don't really know what to do,

 

I haven't really been eating, and I can't stop myself from crying all the time. I even cried at work today. I know he's probably misrable too, but it doesn't make things any better. I'm so afraid that I will never be truly happy again. Do you think I'm crazy for feeling this upset? If anybody has some advice or comforting words for me, it would be greatly appriciated. Thanks very much, Valerie

 

No,in my opinion your not crazy for being upset.Keep talking to people about your feelings keep crying if you need too the sooner you will feel better:) You should also try to eat too.You dont have to if you dont want, but I got seriousesly sick from not eating and I couldnt tell you enough how important it is! Hopefully you can see him in January.I hope the best for you.