The jealous ex...we've all had one (atleast)...now what to do about it

[almostthere]

My exhusband was a very jealous person. We were seperated and divorced for the past 3 years. 2 1/2 years of that I had to deal with him driving past my house to see who was over, calling me non stop (62 missed calls in a 4 hour period), nasty voicemail messages, snooping through my things. Name calling, accusations of me dating people, crying, begging, yelling screaming...on and on and on..... Ironically he was dating someone for a year and a half of those 2 1/2 years and denied it the whole time. I just found out the extent of that relationship when they moved in together 3 weeks ago. I always knew she was more then a friend...but I didnt care because I didnt want him back.

 

Now I am dating someone who's exwife is doing the same exact thing. I told him about my problems with my ex and he asked me how can he make her stop. I told him shes going to keep pushing. She really wants him back. But only since she found out we started hanging out and eventually dating. I know he doesnt want to go back. She had a year and half long affair on him and thats why he left. They have been divorced for a year now. Anyway...shes calling him and yelling at him. I have had to leave twice now because she shows up at his house and i know he would be more comfortable if i wasnt there when they argued. I can respect that. Plus, I really dont want to get involved. The advice I gave him through my own experience was simply to not answer the phone. Dont open the door when she is outside banging on it. Just to ignore her completely and act grown up about things and just a quick hi and bye when picking up or dropping off the kids. My thoery with my ex was he wanted attention negative or positive. As long as I was arguing with him in person or over the phone I was distracted from everyone else. I think that is what she is doing. Is this bad advice? I mean he has already talked to her and argued with her telling her we are officially together now. Shes known we have been friends for 5 months but we werent dating until maybe a month or so ago. I mean if trying to tell her hes moved on doesnt work then whos to say ignoring her would work?

 

Any advice would be appreciated. There is no reason he should have to go through this stress. She decided it was over between them the first time she laid down with that other man. Now its time for her to realize its over and move on herself. Because to be honest she came over once when I was there and her and him went outside to fight and then he left me at his house while he went over to her house to try to straighten things out. Then the 2nd time I had to leave his house because she was on her way over to fight some more. But I am getting a little worn out on getting kicked out and made to wait because of her. I really dont want to deal with this issue. And for as sweet as he is, as much as I enjoy being around him, and how he is with his 3 children and my 2 children....I dont think I have the patience for this. So, any suggestions?