break up

[dissy]

hi, we broke up on sunday.we still live in separate rooms and we had been since 4 years together. his reason is, he loves me, it is hard for him, but he can't see any persepective of future for the relationship. i realy don't know what it means, any way i don't know how to handle with it.

 

should i try to bring him back or let him go. some people says if you love him you have to do everything to bring him back, but i'm afraid, if i do that, he will hate more and will be easier for him to leave him please help. something to make clear, i was so happy to be with him.

[sparkle]

Whoever told you that "if you love someone you have to do everything to bring him back" was wrong. I think it's more like: If you truly love someone, you should do what's best for his happiness and for yours.

 

For whatever reasons you two broke up, you or he must have been unhappy about something. Getting back together may not resolve those problems and things may just end up back to where you are now.

 

If he doesn't want to be with you, and you really do love him and care about him being happy, then you will let him leave without a fuss.

[Tammie]

hi, we broke up on sunday.we still live in separate rooms and we had been since 4 years together.

 

I'm very sorry for you. This is going to be a hard time.

his reason is, he loves me, it is hard for him, but he can't see any persepective of future for the relationship.

You need to take charge of your life and move out of there-NOW.

i realy don't know what it means, any way i don't know how to handle with it.

It means many things: that he's given up trying, he's lost interest, he doesn't care about you the same way, he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with you.

 

Don't take it personally. You are NOT a bad person.

 

Talk to your friends and family. You NEED them. Call a support helpline if you are feeling suicidal. But you can't stay with a person who has said this to you.

 

It will RUIN you.

should i try to bring him back or let him go.

ABSOULTELY NOT. Let him go. He's already let you go in his mind. Do NOT beg, plead, etc. It will only make you hate yourself later.

 

some people says if you love him you have to do everything to bring him back,

They are WRONG.

but i'm afraid, if i do that, he will hate more and will be easier for him to leave him

You are CORRECT. He will not respect you, he will hate you more AND resent you. You will forever be worring if he really loves you, or when he will decide to leave next.

 

You will get even more depressed, isolated, and unhappy.

i was so happy to be with him.

I TOTALLY understand. But be honest with yourself. Did he REALLY treat you the way you deserved to be treated? It's hard to be objective right now, because you are HURTING.

 

Unless he's some psycho, a person who plays games, or dishonest, there should have been some clues to his behavior.

 

It's not healthy for you to stay there. You need to walk away from any person who tells you something like this. Focus on YOU, what you want from life, and focus on making yourself whole again.

 

Sorry.

[WGirl]

I love the poem or whatever it is:

 

'If you love something set it free'

 

"If you love something set it free.

 

If it comes back it's yours.

 

If it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

 

*author unkown

hi, we broke up on sunday.we still live in separate rooms and we had been since 4 years together. his reason is, he loves me, it is hard for him, but he can't see any persepective of future for the relationship. i realy don't know what it means, any way i don't know how to handle with it. should i try to bring him back or let him go. some people says if you love him you have to do everything to bring him back, but i'm afraid, if i do that, he will hate more and will be easier for him to leave him please help. something to make clear, i was so happy to be with him.