somelamedude Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 I started a new job a couple months back where there's this Latino guy who looks 20 but is actually 30 and is ripped but he's kinda short (I'd say 5'7-5'8). Very friendly and funny guy. He seems happy all the time, and we started to hang out and I found out that he has this red head fiance who is smokin' hot. She's 22 and lives with him. She's built like a P*rn Star/Playboy bunny with natural curves and looks like a younger, healthier, more attractive version of Gianna Michaels. I couldn't believe it.. we work for a bank call center that gives bonuses and raises and even though I'm making $14 an hour, since he's been there for 5 or so years, he's making closer to $20 an hour. Anyways I told him, wow you're super lucky, in which he said he knows. We talked about it, and I told him that I'm testing the waters myself, and asked how he found her.. He said he's been with her for 3 years and admitted things were a bit rushed. This girl hit him up online on one of those dating sites and she admitted that he looked a lot younger than what he says he was, but she thought he was really cute. They started going out and less than 3 weeks she was living with him. He told me that her mom was abusive growing up and that before he got with her, she was living with her sister who was going to leave the area and move to a different state (part of the reason why things were a bit rushed). He told me he knows he is going to sound a bit bad, but because of the pacing, and noticing she was IG Model hot, he set a lot of ground rules and had her delete various social media accounts where she had thousands of friends, in order to recreate them and add close female friends and family.. which she obliged. He didn't have her work for close to a year and had her more like a maid/house wife for quite some time because he was very insecure and worried that she would be using him and might be seeing other men/boys behind his back. Well he said that she more than proved herself by always being loyal and he has her password to everything as well as a monitoring app installed on her phone, and he helped her get a part time job because they both agreed that their household would be ran traditionally and that he'd have a nice hot meal waiting for him and their small house cleaned when he got home. He also admitted to knowing where she's at all times because he set a curfew for her, and has home security with a cam that alerts him when she comes home which she never broke once. He said he isn't bad since he takes care of yard work, on his days off, would cook and clean with her, and usually treats her out on nice dates and adventures and on special occasions, get her gifts. The few times he's had me over, his place was truly spotless, this foxy red head was super nice to me and to his friends and would always have snacks and drinks ready when we would play video games, watch sports, tv shows, movies or random sh*t on YT. This girl comes off a little clingy though, in which she kisses him a lot, gives him a lot of hugs, and wanted to know when it was her turn to have all of his undivided attention.. I've more than once caught her checking him out and totally ogling him, and when we eat lunch together at work, his lunch usually comes with little love notes that she'd write out and his phone would constantly buzz from messages from her checking up on him. I know where this girl works (part time at a grocery store), and I've seen a couple times guys hitting on her or asking her for her number, which she'd never reciprocate or brush off by saying they're happily taken. Well my friend/coworker admitted that he sometimes wished she was older, since he always pictured himself with someone closer to his age, but because he has a baby face and isn't all that tall, he's had a number of one nighters, short term girls, and 1 previous long term relationship and it's because he feels loved by this girl, she meets all his needs, and she has no kids, he feels that she's the one he wants to marry... Anyways, I want to know what my chances are in finding an attractive, loyal, honest woman with no kids like this? I'd do anything to have a woman like that eventually but I really want to know are these women/girls rare? I'd love to find a girl who would look at me like this girl does to this guy and never entertain other men by being a bit conservative and not flirtatious. It seems like a lot of my female friends think it's ok to post on FB, hot actors, or meme's with hot guys, but this guy, this chick doesn't.. she treats him like a freakin' God, to the likes of Adonis. I just want to find someone eventually who would give it their all like I would, and love me just as hard and have the attraction equally mutual. Also where would I have the best chances of finding someone like this? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Do you want a girlfriend, or a daughter-wife? This dude has the latter, and the dynamic more than likely isn't as rosy as they both pretend. In other words, it probably won't last and what you see is a mere front. Sounds tremendously unhealthy. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 You want a hot women who you can control. Start by searching for someone who has low self esteem. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 It sounds to me that he wants a hot woman who will love the ground he walks on. What man doesn't want that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 OP, it's rare. Check out Donovan Sharpe from the Red Man Group. He and his girl have the same deal with social media. Most women are feminists. Come to think of it, most men are too...or are at least conditioned to accept feminists ideals. To find a woman that values a her man to the point that she is completely opting out of hypergamy? I mean, he works at a call center. That's not really the epitome of the American dream or anything. He has to maintain a masculine frame at all times, or there is no way she would feel safe to give up her social media (her outlet for hypergamy). Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 She's 22, she's vulnerable due to previous abuse and has clung on to this older guy who frankly is also abusive with his paranoid demands and his controlling and stalking behaviour. One day she will grow up, wake up, realise the world is her oyster, and kick him to the curb and he will be "heartbroken", his dreams shattered. I used to feel sorry for these young women, but nine times out of ten it is the older guy that gets the raw deal eventually. He sees young sexy wife and ends up besotted with her, she sees filler relationship and a place to stay for a while until she finds someone better... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Your friend sounds like a jerk. He didn't ALLOW her to work for a year? He has home monitoring and a curfew for her? One day, hopefully, she'll realize that she jumped from one abusive home to another and leave him. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 I see a lot of women who try to please their guy at the detriment to themselves.... So I don't think that's hard to find.... Take a play book from any abuser/narc/f boy/selfish and controlling person You find a girl You like physically, pursue her and woo her, and when she falls in love or at the least really like you then you see if she does what you want by making requests, if she doesn't because she is at the least has self respect and wants a partnership not be under a dictatorship or at the most selfish and only cares about herself breakup with her and rinse and repeat until you find someone who does what you want. Pretty much it. Plenty of girls with low self esteem to go around or at the least have low value moments when they fall for a guy Smh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 For what its worth, my husband treats me like gold. And in return, I treat him like the king of our castle. He has a nice home, meals prepared for him, typically clothes laid out for him when he is in his busy seasons at work. I do that because I love and appreciate him and he appreciates the gestures. But in no way, shape or form does he in any way attempt to "control" me or feel the need to "monitor" me and check up on me. He has laid zero 'ground rules' and doesn't TELL me to do these things. He's a grown man who actually isn't an insecure little boy. And we trust each other. People, like your friend, who resort to "monitoring" the person they are with and set ground rules are insecure weak people. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 For what its worth, my husband treats me like gold. And in return, I treat him like the king of our castle. He has a nice home, meals prepared for him, typically clothes laid out for him when he is in his busy seasons at work. I do that because I love and appreciate him and he appreciates the gestures. See people who care about another person gives. If you like someone AND want to be in a relationship with someone AND have the mindset of making a relationship work more than likely your going to be giving. Your going to do things to try to make the other person happy. That's what relationship oriented people do. Unfortunately what happens is that people with this mindset end up with people who don't share the same motives. They end up with people who just want to take. Both men and women do this. They get into relationships for whatever attracted them and when the person they are with clearly show they are not as giving they don't leave because they really like/love/is too invested. That damn like bias and one-itus gets ya everytime. Selfish people are really good at choosing people who would do for them. Relationship oriented people really should be the same way. Not be selfish and take take take but I mean be adamant at looking for people who are givers too so they can enter into relationships where it's safe to be that giving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
40somethingGuy Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 He probably makes sure she comes first in bed and she is very satisfied. She probably knows men like this are not as abundant as one might think and is happy to follow her alpha's rules because he knows how to really please her. If he isn't good in bed she wouldn't put up with the rules. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Anyways, I want to know what my chances are in finding an attractive, loyal, honest woman with no kids like this? There are lots of attractive, honest, loyal women in the world. In my world, I did not know many people who had kids but your social demographic may be different. I'd start looking at Church. Get involved in your church -- go to Bible study, get involved in a ministry that speaks to you. Basically roll up your sleeves & help out. Even if your dream girl isn't another volunteer, she may the daughter or niece of the people you meet. Another option in in the pursuit of higher education. Take a class somewhere. You can also try looking through volunteer organizations. The world needs to be changed. Find a cause you care about & work to make a difference. You will meet like minded idealists. Get a few anachronistic ideas out of your head. You are unlikely to find a model who is built like a porn star who will be fulfilled cleaning your house. It's a brave new world. Everybody who lives in the house is responsible for pitching it with domestic responsibilities 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 No one knows what is really going on behind closed doors... I'll bet dollars to donuts that what he's got is messy a.f.---he's just good at hiding it from you and telling you what you want to hear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 She's 22, she's vulnerable due to previous abuse and has clung on to this older guy who frankly is also abusive with his paranoid demands and his controlling and stalking behaviour. One day she will grow up, wake up, realise the world is her oyster, and kick him to the curb and he will be "heartbroken", his dreams shattered. He sees young sexy wife and ends up besotted with her, she sees filler relationship and a place to stay for a while until she finds someone better... Agree with this. There's a very good chance she doesn't really love him as much as he thinks or he would be more secure and wouldn't feel the need to control everything. She's just running away from her past situation and sees this as an escape...for now. He seems to have issues as well. It's going to crash and burn. As I say a lot, I work in a counseling center and see this exact scenario once a week 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 If you want a slave/gf/wife you need to go to Asia/South America/Central America. You will not find that here! It does not sound like such a great relationship to me, his gf is messed up obviously from where and how she was brought up. She was looking for a way out of her situation, he was it... In South America guys are very controlling a holes, much like your friend sounds... When I lived in Brazil I had so many women because I treated them right. They would tell me how men are there and how they could not stand them and how they were treated by them... Your friend is typical of Latin culture, American women will never put up with how he is. If you want a good woman you should not act like your friend. I wish you luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author somelamedude Posted March 11, 2019 Author Share Posted March 11, 2019 Guys thank you for all your responses. I greatly appreciate it. Like I said this friend/coworker admitted that he was a bit paranoid, I forgot to add that he's eased up tremendously (according to him), and he's also given her his passwords to his social media accounts and has unfriended various girls per her request. I don't blame him for doing that because yes, a lot of girls do want escapes from their past situations. The thing is, I like the sound of this guy's relationship. He takes care of her, loves her, and spoils her, and it looks like she's doing the same. I just want a woman in my life eventually who would treat me like a prince/king, like I would treat them like a princess/queen.. From some of his lavish stories about their dates, this guy takes her dancing quite a bit, they go on road trips every chance they get, he's treated her to a cruise (we get discounts where we work for vacation spots), he sounds just as romantic in return, because he says that he's written love letters or poems back.. The thing I want a loyal, loving woman who cooks for me like I would cook for her, would take care of me like I would take care of her, who is up for fun dates, and puts out on sex on demand. I know the latter sounds kinda bad but who wants a bitter woman who withholds love? Not me.. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 There is nothing wrong with wanting a mutually loving relationship. What this guy has sounds more like a girlfriend who is afraid to step out of line and not play the role of Happy Little Housewife in front of his friends. I would bet any money what happens behind closed doors is a very different reality from what they present to the world. What he tells people and the performance they put on in others' presence might be a far cry from what goes on when it's only the two of them. Does she benefit in some way? Sure, it sounds like there are some material comforts. Is it a relationship you should really strive to replicate? No. It is unhealthy and you need to understand that all that devotion and love she supposedly shows is probably coming from a place of fear and anxiety if she doesn't follow his orders and cater to his desires. You are admiring a relationship that is superficially sparkly, but probably very rusty under the shiny surface. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Juha Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 I am going to assume that she really does not have a choice to go along with what he wants, where is she going to go? She left a bad, abusive situation to be with this guy, in another bad, abusive relationship. I also assume she does not have many, if any friends. Can't go out of the house when she wants without telling him where, with who, and when to be back... She is young, has issues, and probably does not know anything but this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 Yeah , in their particular situation she's young and has had some stuff. She could completely about flip later and hate the lifestyle she has now, no way to know. But what you seek isn't so rare , it's basically just old school. that's out there in any race you just need to be selective and hone in on what suits you in a woman. l dunno what age you are but there are many guys and gals around old school , traditional or whatever you wanna call it. My gf if 51and yep she's still as hot as hell and def' no idiot but she loves the traditional or whatever you wanna call it lifestyle between her and her man and we both look after each other in all these ways and many more. lt suits my lifestyle and hers and it suits all the things we both love in a relationship and life and the way we both like to live. However in your case , you sound fairly young and so the women you meet will be fairly young too and that's where what we all want gets tricky , like your friends girl. As l say my girl is 51 and she knows herself very well , but someone a lot younger might think she wants this and that but who knows how she'll feel in 5yrs time and want later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 and puts out on sex on demand. I know the latter sounds kinda bad but who wants a bitter woman who withholds love? Not me.. You do know that there's a huge gap between sex on demand and being bitter and withholding love, right? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 This woman sounds God sent I don't know why many women here say bad things about her. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 This woman sounds God sent I don't know why many women here say bad things about her. I'm not saying bad things about her. Rather, I pity her because she's skipped straight from one abuser to another. She needs help - not admiration. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 She's chasing the dad she never had, I think. What happens with those is eventually it becomes too father/daughter and the sex goes down the drain because who wants to have sex with their father. Let's hope she isn't that messed up and that he isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted March 11, 2019 Share Posted March 11, 2019 (edited) Well you can learn something from him. Obviously, he’s controlling, insecure and lied about his age. So simply don’t do the negative stuff he did. But what are the things he did right? you mentioned that he’s happy all the time, funny, and he’s ripped, so he’s fit. The girl is obviously physically attracted to him which is why she put up with his stuff. She won’t put up with him if he’s not her type. But she stayed with the guy and takes care of him because he’s physically fit, funny, and has a personality. There you go. And like you said, he also takes her out on dates and go to different places. Maybe she interprets his controlling ways as protective. Maybe she’s insecure. She wants a father figure type but she also wants someone she’s physically attracted too. She found him cute. That fulfills her needs. But he also has those things which made her stay with him ie. funny, happy all the time, a personality, takes care of her, etc... As far as finding a beautiful, classy woman. Look no further than George Clooney. He really has a nice way about him. He really is a throwback to the classic Hollywood male star. He waited a really long time to marry someone and when he did he landed what most men would dream of marrying. Don’t lower your standards. She’s out there. If she has exes in the background, smokes, an alcoholic, does drugs otherwise or “recreationally”, is structured, controlling, emotionally unavailable, or jaded and bitter, then drop her. You don’t have to put up with any of that. It may take awhile but she is out there. It’s a numbers game. Edited March 11, 2019 by Interstellar Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 (edited) The thing I want a loyal, loving woman who cooks for me like I would cook for her, would take care of me like I would take care of her, who is up for fun dates, and puts out on sex on demand. I know the latter sounds kinda bad but who wants a bitter woman who withholds love? Not me.. Hey wouldn't we all! I just don't see it myself any more. I would say it is very rare to find couples where both parties are as dedicated to each other as the one you describe due in large part to the obstacles posed by social media and dating apps. The internet is a low investment, low risk, yet high reward source of attention for when a relationship hits a rocky patch...hell even when everything is great. Everyone is looking for the next best thing 24/7. Have a read of the infidelity forums, they are full of marriages that have lasted for 20 years only to crash and burn because the old childhood sweetheart got in touch via facebook and the FOMO was too much to resist.. It's almost cliché how much of a trope it has become. Anyway, good luck in your search. If you find a relationship like that lemme know if she has a twin sister Edited March 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
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