GF doesn't like Marijuana (update: She's gone for good)

[JuneL]

If you have a brain tumor and have legitimate need for medical marijuana, shouldn’t you go to a doctor and get the appropriate prescription, instead of self-medicating yourself?

[Coup La-La]

You sure are working hard to rationalize and justify. Brain tumor, eh? Please forgive my skepticism if you actually do have a brain tumor, but it sounds awfully convenient given your previous thread and the fact that the issue/deception with respect to the girlfriend predates it. Isn't it wonderful that the substance that you were already engrossed with is just what the doctor ordered.

 

 

 

Dude, you are not an exception. You're apparently messed up all day, every day. I wouldn't want to date anyone like that, and I think your gf is the one seeing things with a clear head. Why not try sobriety for a few months and see what it's like –– you may actually like yourself better if you got to know yourself that way.

 

* My brain tumor is 100% real, I can show you the MRIs if you want, I would never joke about something so serious

* As I stated earlier, I started smoking to treat my nausea problems, after I had researched it for months, the only other thing that helps me anywhere near as much as weed is my Rx made for AIDS and cancer patients....which makes me too drowsy to go to work or even drive. Why should I have to choose between not getting paid or being too sick to do my job at 100% level all the time?

* I used to live in a country where possession of weed was a very serious crime, that could get you serious jail time. I didn't smoke for a year. My cognitive abilities were no better, my basic personality structure was no different. I thought that it might make a big difference, so I tested these things regularly. When I came back home, my friends and family members didn't believe that I went without for a year, because they didn't notice anything different.

[smackie9]

That's not always accurate, I've actually never dated a girl that smoked before. in fact 1/2 of my exes were dead set against weed, but we always made lasting compromise. Those relationships didn't last, but it had nothing to do with weed i.e. My Ex that started off "I don't even want to be FB friends with people who smoke weed" broke up with me after ultimatum "marry me, or we're done"

 

My dad smoked cigarettes for decades, my mother hated it....but they made a compromise (I'm glad he stopped though). If they can make a compromise about something that causes 1,200 deaths a day, I refuse to believe we can't make a compromise about something that saves lives.

You are in denial. You are fighting because it's incompatibility. It's easy to see things are starting to unravel. I'm an old gal, I can see it from here you two don't have what it takes to last for the long haul because I have been there. And like I always say in these threads, smoking weed is a lifestyle. If your lifestyles don't fit, you are not compatible. Your GF is waiting for you to quit. You are not going to quit, you make all these excuses, and I know you can live without it, so there you have it. It's either the pot or her.

[Coup La-La]

A vape pen has no smell at all because it’s vapor. Your gf needs to educate herself on medicinal uses of marijuana. It’s well-known these days.

 

Thank you for you practical advise, I think I'm gonna buy one and test it out. Is there a particular brand or company you would recommenced?

[Coup La-La]

you serious , your ex's actually call up asking for sex , got yaself some real ladies there, not.

 

lol, My D is just that good

[Coup La-La]

I am very sorry that you are using this for medical reasons for a serious condition. Perhaps if you tell her that she will soften her stance but for some people, me included, any self medicating behavior without the proper prescriptions is a non starter & I don't want that behavior in my life. For example, alcohol is legal but somebody who drinks to avoid dealing with life is not somebody I want to be around.

 

* I have told her, I have shown her medical journals explaining the benefits. The only real response is "well why hasn't it cured your nausea yet". Which is part of the problem, I think part of it is that she is so dug into her stance, her ego has become part of the equation

* I have recommendations for weed from 6 different doctors in 4 different fields of medicine. I have shown her my Rx, from my ivy league educated Dr, that was so smart he graduated medical school at 20 (not college, medical school)

[Coup La-La]

If you have a brain tumor and have legitimate need for medical marijuana, shouldn’t you go to a doctor and get the appropriate prescription, instead of self-medicating yourself?

 

I do have a legitimate Rx, not only is it better to have guidance, but medical is cheaper and better quality than from the street anyway.

[smackie9]

Dude this has nothing to do with her "ego" this has a lot to do with her beliefs. She doesn't approve of it, and that's her right not to. This should be a dealbreaker for you.

[Wallysbears]

You can research all you want. You can show her all the proof you want. She doesn't like it and she doesn't HAVE to like it.

 

Your choice is the pot or the relationship with her.

 

We can debate all day long if it is beneficial, prescribed, helps you, etc. and she can STILL decide it is a deal breaker for her.

[JuneL]

I do have a legitimate Rx, not only is it better to have guidance, but medical is cheaper and better quality than from the street anyway.

 

See your own post #7. Medical marijuana is different from what you’re doing to get high though.

[smackie9]

I do have a legitimate Rx, not only is it better to have guidance, but medical is cheaper and better quality than from the street anyway.

Yes I agree with this. My 82 year old mother uses medical, and the cost is a fraction of what she used to pay for prescriptions. People don't realize how damaging some pain relief prescription drugs are to your kidneys, etc. BUT I digress, you can't convince everyone the benefits of MJ/CBD. It's still new, and more testing is still needed. The drug companies are all over it, so in future there will be easy prescribed forms for the public. Then the stigma will settle down.

[littleblackheart]

OP doesn't want to pick - he wants both.

 

For me personally, hard drugs and any excessive anything (not just daily - binge drinking for instance) is a hard pass.

 

I could compromise on marijuana only as a recreational activity or as a medicine away from my kids that does not affect me or the relationship, if all else in the relationship goes well and if I've been told in advance.

 

OP, your gf doesn't seem to be totally against it on principle so there might be room to get a compromise as long as it's all on the table.

[Wallysbears]

OP doesn't want to pick - he wants both.

 

 

 

And I want to be a millionaire that can spend all of my spare time hanging out at a posh country club or playing with puppies. But unfortunately, we can't all get what we want in life. And it seems like his GF isn't going to let this go if it has been a regular point of contention for them.

[Art_Critic]

So the compromise you have in mind is you don't change a thing and she has to change and accept it ?

 

That seems to be the way I'm reading this thread, you have all your bases covered on why it's okay to smoke and she doesn't...

 

I'm not trying to convince you to stop smoking..I can't.. only the addict can after the denial goggles come off and that isn't going to happen and I'm not saying it should either but it seems you have an answer for everybody here for you to not change.

 

I don't think you are going to get her to change her mind but do think you should talk this out with her more to at the very least come to a real understanding on where you both sit, it seems you are both incompatible and that isn't either of yours faults.. it just is...

[Coup La-La]

You are in denial. You are fighting because it's incompatibility. It's easy to see things are starting to unravel. I'm an old gal, I can see it from here you two don't have what it takes to last for the long haul because I have been there. And like I always say in these threads, smoking weed is a lifestyle. If your lifestyles don't fit, you are not compatible. Your GF is waiting for you to quit. You are not going to quit, you make all these excuses, and I know you can live without it, so there you have it. It's either the pot or her.

 

If things were going to truly "unravel" it would've happened a long time ago. We've been together for years, no matter how many times she storms out saying "I can't be with an addict", she ALWAYS comes back, like a boomerang.

 

Not to brag but my GF is HOT (like Victoria's secret hot), she has plenty of other dating options, even professional athletes have asked her out, yet she still comes back. To the best of my knowledge, she's never cheated nor even gone on a date with another man, and when she comes back her first words are always "you better not have had sex with another woman"

 

Let's be honest the term "lifestyle" is something to imply that the other is immoral or undesirable. She and I both wake up and go to work everyday, come home and watch the news. We don't socialize at different levels, we have almost the same sleep schedule, and sometimes I even go to church with her when she asks. Me taking 4 -7 minutes a day to do anything (reading, jumping rope, smoking weed) is not a "lifestyle", I don't think about weed during the day, I don't spend any significant amount of time acquiring it, I don't even pay for it 1/2 the time.

 

Here's the question that nobody has answered: How is my health an "excuse"??? When I spoke to my doctors (1st and 2nd opinion) about my tumor, they both were shocked that I didn't have hearing loss, blurry vision, or nerve damage, I have searched up and down, and the neuroprotective qualities of THC is the only explanation I can find as to why I have evaded these effects [not my diet, my exercise regimen, the climate].

 

Can you honestly say that if you had reason to believe that if [x] has saved your hearing, you wouldn't consider it something to keep around?

 

As yes I can live without weed, like how I can live without electricity, I can live without a car, I can live without the internet, I can live without sex....but they all make life a lot easier. Would you give up something like that just to conform to the lies told about that thing?

[Art_Critic]

Did you smoke pot before you tried it for nausea ?

[Orokotikki]

ten characters.

 

Move to colorado and get edibles.

[Art_Critic]

Would you give up something like that just to conform to the lies told about that thing?

 

I gave up drinking because I was powerless over it and I had ruined a relationship that meant a lot to me, I also was ruining all the relationships I had at the time.. here I am 32 years later thanking God I didn't believe all the lies...

 

This is supposed to be about you and her not me or us...

If she doesn't want someone who self medicates with pot then so be it.. you need to get on the same page with her not us...

 

Find out why she feels this way..I know you say she has said she doesn't have any real reasons.. but yes she does.. find out what they are and listen to them.

[littleblackheart]

But unfortunately, we can't all get what we want in life. And it seems like his GF isn't going to let this go if it has been a regular point of contention for them.

 

I hear you. I'm just saying he's not the one in the 'choosing' position. Doesn't mean he should or he is justified in this choice.

 

He can't or shouldn't force her. Equally, he can at least discuss and see what she's wiling to compromise on. So it's her call.

[Coup La-La]

Dude this has nothing to do with her "ego" this has a lot to do with her beliefs. She doesn't approve of it, and that's her right not to. This should be a dealbreaker for you.

 

Did you see the Netflix documentary about the Flat Earth Society? From the results of their own experiments, they could see the earth is round....but their ego wouldn't let them say that they had been wrong, so they just kept espousing the same ideas. This is the exact same principle.

 

I went for the MRI because I've been having dizzy spells, she's seen me fall and hurt myself, she's see how sick I've been, and she's also seen me leave the house like that, go smoke weed, come back 6 minutes later, feeling 90% better......observing that 1st hand and still taking issue is EGO

 

Saying: I don't like [x] because of these specific reasons, is a stance

 

Saying: I can't refute the scientific evidence your presented, nor can I provide any of my own is EGO it's about feeling that your inflexibility is more important than actual facts, is about pride. Let's call out self absorption for what it is, and not make excuses for it.

 

I love her more than I've ever loved a woman, as I said before this is the only thing we argue about. I understand that everyone has something about them you don't like. Every relationship has compromise in it. i.e. I have a friend who is Jewish and married to a Palestinian. If in my relationship it's just 1 thing, that is something to work with. MOST people in relationships can't say that they only ever have disagreements about 1 thing.

[Coup La-La]

You can research all you want. You can show her all the proof you want. She doesn't like it and she doesn't HAVE to like it.

 

Your choice is the pot or the relationship with her.

 

We can debate all day long if it is beneficial, prescribed, helps you, etc. and she can STILL decide it is a deal breaker for her.

 

The whole point is that we are on a cycle

I love you > 4 months later > "I can't be around this, this is a deal breaker" > 3 - 10 days later > "Do you want to come by and get it on?" > 2 hours later "I love you"

 

If it were deal breaker in her heart of hearts, she would've stopped talking to me years ago.

 

 

And that is part of a relationship, there is always something not to like. Some of my female friends say "I love my BF / husband, I wouldn't want anyone else, but I have a list from here to the moon of things I don't like"

[Coup La-La]

OP doesn't want to pick - he wants both.

 

For me personally, hard drugs and any excessive anything (not just daily - binge drinking for instance) is a hard pass.

 

I could compromise on marijuana only as a recreational activity or as a medicine away from my kids that does not affect me or the relationship, if all else in the relationship goes well and if I've been told in advance.

 

OP, your gf doesn't seem to be totally against it on principle so there might be room to get a compromise as long as it's all on the table.

 

There have been many instances in my life where I was told "one or the other" i.e. "play baseball or play soccer" "go to college or get a [white collar] job" "work in finance, or be a creative type" ..... and in all instances I had both. Asking me to pick one is like being as which child I want to survive, this isn't Sophie's Choice I believe all of us can make it out of the camp alive.

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084707/

[JuneL]

See your own post #7. Medical marijuana is different from what you’re doing to get high though.

 

So you’re getting medical prescriptions in a place where medical marijuana is illegal?

[littleblackheart]

There have been many instances in my life where I was told "one or the other'

 

I get that. In that instance though, it's out of your hands.

[Coup La-La]

I gave up drinking because I was powerless over it and I had ruined a relationship that meant a lot to me

you're not even comparing apples and oranges, you're comparing apples and baseballs

 

If she doesn't want someone who self medicates with pot then so be it.. you need to get on the same page with her not us...

I have an Rx, it's not self medication.

 

Did you smoke pot before you tried it for nausea ?

No, in fact until I did the research I was 100% against marijuana, and capriciously used terms like "weed addict" as well

 

so the compromise you have in mind is you don't change a thing and she has to change and accept it ?

 

That seems to be the way I'm reading this thread, you have all your bases covered on why it's okay to smoke and she doesn't...

 

Willingness to restrict smoking to a certain time of the day is a compromise, me researching vape pens that don't make a smell is a compromise, me staying faithful to her while whenever she goes a few days without talking to me is a compromise.

 

If I said to her "you should give up Catholicism, I don't dispute the fact that it helps you, and I can't name a specific way in which it has negatively influenced you life" NOBODY would say "she's just making excuses" or "she goes to church regularly therefore she's obviously she's a fanatic", everyone would say "that's ridiculous" --> The difference is that we haven't been spreading lies about religion for the last 3 generations.

 

Be honest, if instead of of Marijuana I took mood stabilizers for bi-polar everyday [which unlike weed are physically addictive] , would anyone say "you're making excuses", would anyone try to explain away her egocentric position ABSOLUTELY NOT