basil67 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 She obviously has a deep connection if she always comes back, that's why when she talks about breaking up I just say "Ok my love, talk to you tomorrow" I know that is an extreme analogy, but still relevant. How is your changing the topic with her relevant to the fact that she has the right to reject your weed if she wants? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 None of this is relevant. She doesn't think she can accept it and this is her prerogative. If you can't accept her stance, then move on to someone who agrees with you. It really is this simple. No it's really not, there is nothing simple about this * I have already lost so much because of myths i.e. My ex girlfriend who broke up with me because her parents didn't approve of mixed race relationships, saying that biracial children are "confused and unaccepted" * I have dated many women, and none have come anywhere close to here caliber, 14 years ago I wrote out 17 bullet points of what qualities my perfect woman would have, she has 16 of them. I don't want to spend my life feeling like I missed out because of lies * I have a friend that's Jewish and married to a Palestinian. I have a friend that was raised in a devout Mormon household and is married to a devout atheist. Where there is a will there is a way, especially for something so petty * I will not let ignorance dictate my life without a struggle She may also have had a very different perspective if you hadn't been a stoner who kept quiet about it when you first met. It wouldn't have made any difference whatsoever. Both good points. However, I given the way the OP worded his initial post, it sounds like he's also still using for recreational purposes. Does she have a job which requires her to stay away from illegal activity? Yeah, just like how some people like to go to the gym because they enjoy the people and environment in addition to wanting to get in shape. HELL NO, she doesn't have a job like that. She's never had a drug test, nor worked in a field which requires a squeaky clean reputation. If she had a job like that I would have at least a shred of respect for this stance Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 How big is your brain tumor? Is it benign at this point?? It's the size of a golf ball (literally), it's benign but it's changed the structure of my brain, it's started to affect my coordination, there are times when I get very dizzy and can't stand up. Thus far I haven't found anything else that helps when I get like that, not even Rx pills. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs._December Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 * I have told her, I have shown her medical journals explaining the benefits. The only real response is "well why hasn't it cured your nausea yet". Sooo...you claim you started smoking pot YEARS ago to supposedly deal with your 'nausea' problem - but apparently, you're STILL dealing with it. If it hasn't worked for your nausea all these years, then why did you continue smoking pot every single day if it wasn't helping you? Man, you are in such denial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 So the medical marijuana prescribed by your former physicians are in the exact same form as the recreational weed you used to smoke? Is there any consequence for using/keeping weed illegally in your current state? Do you think your gf may be uncomfortable with the fact that it’s illegal? No, the medical weed I get is very, very different from the weed I used to smoke in the old days. Even before my tumor was discovered I already had a prescription for my nausea. Where I live, it's not legal, but if a cop finds it on you they'll just take it from you and tell you to be on your way. I talked to her about the legality on 1 occasion, and suggested that maybe it would be better if I moved to a medicinal state, and she made it clear the legal status wouldn't make a difference to her. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 It's the size of a golf ball (literally), it's benign but it's changed the structure of my brain, it's started to affect my coordination, there are times when I get very dizzy and can't stand up. Thus far I haven't found anything else that helps when I get like that, not even Rx pills. The medical marijuana may make you feel good (assuming what you said is true), but there can be potentially dangerous consequences if you don’t tackle the growing golf ball directly. I wrote a thread earlier asking why someone I sort of know would refuse getting treatment for her huge benign tumor in her belly. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Coup, you have a huge disrespect for her stance. You know she's not going to change. Why are you prolonging this on again/off again relationship when you could find another woman who's OK with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 How is your changing the topic with her relevant to the fact that she has the right to reject your weed if she wants? It's relevant to the fact that if there's even a 1% chance of making her more palatable to it, It's worth exploring every avenue. By "changing the conversation" I mean changing the focus, i.e. maybe approaching it from a religious perspective "Jesus said love you neighbor as yourself, if you want to follow him, adhere to his words" Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 It's relevant to the fact that if there's even a 1% chance of making her more palatable to it, It's worth exploring every avenue. By "changing the conversation" I mean changing the focus, i.e. maybe approaching it from a religious perspective "Jesus said love you neighbor as yourself, if you want to follow him, adhere to his words" I can't see that any of these approaches would remotely change things. Changing the subject is just stringing her along. And while I'm not religious, I suspect Jesus's words above were not meant to help one accept behaviour which they object to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 Sooo...you claim you started smoking pot YEARS ago to supposedly deal with your 'nausea' problem - but apparently, you're STILL dealing with it. If it hasn't worked for your nausea all these years, then why did you continue smoking pot every single day if it wasn't helping you? Man, you are in such denial. Marijuana treats nausea NOT cures it. Isulin doesn't cure diabetes Blood thinners don't cure heart disease mood stabilizers don't cure bipolar Would you say to someone "you've been taking Norvask everyday for years, and you don't have a regenerated heart yet, you're in denial"....No, of course not. and my nausea problem is very much real, and has been with me my whole life. When I was in 3rd grade I missed a month of school because of my stomach problems, when I was at my job in the country that took a hash stance on weed, I threw up at least once a week, even though my diet and exercise routine was the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 The medical marijuana may make you feel good (assuming what you said is true), but there can be potentially dangerous consequences if you don’t tackle the growing golf ball directly. I wrote a thread earlier asking why someone I sort of know would refuse getting treatment for her huge benign tumor in her belly. No, I will have surgery to remove it. I've been told by both doctors that if I don't get the operation it will kill me eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 Coup, you have a huge disrespect for her stance. You know she's not going to change. Why are you prolonging this on again/off again relationship when you could find another woman who's OK with it? Why should I respect a stance based in ignorance and selfishness? One of my exes cut-off her whole family, even those who she never had friction with, while I didn't agree with the decision, I can respect it, because her parents were very mean, degrading people, and when she was around them she should would have stress to the point of having physical symptoms. saying "I can't dispute that weed helps you, but you should still stop" is nothing to respect. And no I don't know she won't change. After breakups she comes back to me in less and less time, the first time we broke up it was a moth before she came back, the last time it was 3 days. The question here is, how do we eliminate this altogether? I don't want to marry any other woman, I don't want children with any other woman, I don't even want to have sex with any other woman. Successful people knock until the door is answered. I have dated many women, from different races, religions, countries, none have compared to her. Like the 80 / 20 rule, it's a path to self defeat if I leave the 80% for the 20% "this new woman isn't as smart, talented, affectionate or good at sex as my last one, but that's ok because she doesn't complain about weed" F- that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 I can't see that any of these approaches would remotely change things. Changing the subject is just stringing her along. And while I'm not religious, I suspect Jesus's words above were not meant to help one accept behaviour which they object to. Jesus' words were meant to inspire empathy, if she had more empathy she wouldn't object to me smoking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Maybe its your attitude (coming across a bit jekyll and hyde here) and need to convince her she is wrong she doesn't like and for her the smoking is an excuse. Anyways, she's already left you enough times, you're just the fall back guy at this point anyway. You really want such inconstant woman? Well you can have her cause I wouldn't even if she she was an Asian acrobat. Peace. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 12, 2019 Author Share Posted March 12, 2019 Maybe its your attitude (coming across a bit jekyll and hyde here) and need to convince her she is wrong she doesn't like and for her the smoking is an excuse. Anyways, she's already left you enough times, you're just the fall back guy at this point anyway. You really want such inconstant woman? Well you can have her cause I wouldn't even if she she was an Asian acrobat. I've looked through her phone, FB, Instagram there is no evidence that she has dated or slept with someone else. I won't rule it out, but thus far there is no concrete reason to believe that. If you can suggest a better way to get my point across I am more than happy to hear it, that's why I started this thread. p.s. I would would walk down the streets in high heels, a clown costume, carrying a cage with a rabid skunk to get with an Asian acrobat, IDK why you would be a quitter, lol Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 Why should I respect a stance based in ignorance and selfishness? Why so defensive? I didn't say that you should respect her stance. It's totally your prerogative not to....just as it's her prerogative to not respect yours. I just question the wisdom of staying with someone who has views which you see as being ignorant and selfish. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 No, I will have surgery to remove it. I've been told by both doctors that if I don't get the operation it will kill me eventually. What are you waiting for? If what you said is true, then smoking weed should be the least of your concerns. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 12, 2019 Share Posted March 12, 2019 So what part of the brain is it impinging on? You have to realize depending where it is, you could lose the ability to foresee consequences or think straight and make rational decisions. Or if it's even in a location where it restricts blood flow, it could affect different parts of the brain. Marijuana won't make it smaller. The bigger it gets, the harder to excise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 13, 2019 Author Share Posted March 13, 2019 Why so defensive? I didn't say that you should respect her stance. It's totally your prerogative not to....just as it's her prerogative to not respect yours. I just question the wisdom of staying with someone who has views which you see as being ignorant and selfish. That's the one thing she she acts ignorant about, when she talks about politics, books, people she knows, she always clearly articulates her point, citing specific examples to support her opinion. Even with religion, she's super-duper Catholic, but she still acknowledges that the Bible isn't literal history and that Jesus obviously didn't look like the images most of us know. If this were consistent in her personality, I would've walked away years ago. But it's just this one thing that she is illogical about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 13, 2019 Author Share Posted March 13, 2019 So what part of the brain is it impinging on? You have to realize depending where it is, you could lose the ability to foresee consequences or think straight and make rational decisions. Or if it's even in a location where it restricts blood flow, it could affect different parts of the brain. It's behind my ear, the Dr. called me a "miracle patient" because It's very rare for someone with a tumor this size next to the ear to not experience any hearing loss, There is a chance I could lose part of the hearing in one ear, which has got me pretty depressed, and a very small chance I won't wake up, but I'm not worried about that, it's only about 1% Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 13, 2019 Author Share Posted March 13, 2019 What are you waiting for? If what you said is true, then smoking weed should be the least of your concerns. I understand what you mean, I think my gf bringing this up has made it a little more difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 Smoke pot discreetly until you have the operation. Do what you can so that she isn't reminded of it, such as changing clothing after smoking, showering, etc so you don't reek like all pot smokers do. Make GF aware that you intend to quit the pot smoking, that you never intended to BE a pot smoker, that you were always AGAINST pot smoking until you NEEDED it for the symptoms related to the brain tumor, and schedule the surgery ASAP because the longer you wait the bigger it grows and the lower the chances of success along with possible residual problems from the time you HAD the tumor. Once the tumors gone, so is the pot and you and GF can live happily ever after, tumor and pot free. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneL Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 I read that patients are advised to quit weed at least weeks before surgery to avoid potential complications. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 13, 2019 Share Posted March 13, 2019 That's the one thing she she acts ignorant about, when she talks about politics, books, people she knows, she always clearly articulates her point, citing specific examples to support her opinion. Even with religion, she's super-duper Catholic, but she still acknowledges that the Bible isn't literal history and that Jesus obviously didn't look like the images most of us know. Perhaps if you took her to your doctor and have them explain that weed is 100% risk free? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Coup La-La Posted March 13, 2019 Author Share Posted March 13, 2019 Perhaps if you took her to your doctor and have them explain that weed is 100% risk free? That's an idea! Perhaps a neutral 3rd party that doesn't smoke themselves would be a better argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts