GF doesn't like Marijuana (update: She's gone for good)

[Shivzo]

Buddy I do not have any research or any medical knowledge about weed helping you with your health condition but I'll briefly mention something about me.

 

I smoked weed religiously for 10 years, few of the late years it took over my life. My girlfriend never liked the idea of me smoking it, it made me selfish and deluded my mindset. There were clear indications that I was ruining my relationship but, I was so into smoking it getting that "high" I became emotionally numb and blinded what I had. I've off it for the last good few months and wow life is so much clearer, I actually lost my lover due to my own mistakes and terms but being off it had made me realize how much she actually did for me, we are currently working things out step by step *me putting the extra effort in*

 

If you truly love your girlfriend, she isn't out to get you, she is there to support you and help you make healthier options in your life. For us males it can be hard to break habits when to ourselves its unnecessary especially if someone is telling us to, but I recommend to look at the alternatives.

Edited March 13, 2019 by Shivzo

[Rocker71]

The whole point is that we are on a cycle

I love you > 4 months later > "I can't be around this, this is a deal breaker" > 3 - 10 days later > "Do you want to come by and get it on?" > 2 hours later "I love you"

 

If it were deal breaker in her heart of hearts, she would've stopped talking to me years ago.

 

 

And that is part of a relationship, there is always something not to like. Some of my female friends say "I love my BF / husband, I wouldn't want anyone else, but I have a list from here to the moon of things I don't like"

 

Dump her to the curb. She cares nothing about you or your health.

[preraph]

OP, if it was me, I wouldn't want to be around someone smoking it now I'm old. I started smoking pot in 1968, but I got tired of it by the early 70s and don't like to get second-hand smoke high like at concerts. That's her right, you know. If she were drug-tested for a job or even if she got pulled over, she could get in trouble for smelling like it and it would show up on her test. If someone reports you at your home and she's there, she will also be arrested.

 

I know you probably think you keep the air clear, but I was around stoners and one myself long enough to know that everyone can smell it, especially those who aren't using it. This is why police can smell it even if it's not in the car at the time and their K9s, too. I know someone who still smokes only occasionally, but the smell never leaves her house. It's very obvious.

 

If you think her only issue is she doesn't believe it's legit treatment and you have some doctor willing to sit there and say it helps and that he prescribed it (not sure how that works if you're in a state where that's not legal), then by all means take her to him, but I hope she checks his credentials.

[snowcones]

Girlfriend or marijuana - take your pick.

 

She doesn't want a pot head around any kids she may have.

You can argue all day but there are usually two camps - pro and anti drugs and they don't mix well and they don't compromise either.

 

 

Yes this. You both just have to accept that you can't be together. Find someone more compatible. Perhaps you should find someone who smokes too and she should find someone who does not smoke.

[Coup La-La]

I smoked weed religiously for 10 years, few of the late years it took over my life. My girlfriend never liked the idea of me smoking it, it made me selfish and deluded my mindset. There were clear indications that I was ruining my relationship but, I was so into smoking it getting that "high" I became emotionally numb and blinded what I had. I've off it for the last good few months and wow life is so much clearer, I actually lost my lover due to my own mistakes and terms but being off it had made me realize how much she actually did for me, we are currently working things out step by step *me putting the extra effort in*

 

If you truly love your girlfriend, she isn't out to get you, she is there to support you and help you make healthier options in your life. For us males it can be hard to break habits when to ourselves its unnecessary especially if someone is telling us to, but I recommend to look at the alternatives.

 

I've gone long periods without smoking, neither my cognitive abilities nor basic personality structure were any different.

 

She has never suggested a specific alternative, nor has she ever given a specific reason as to why weed is bad. If you love someone you do your research.

 

When we had an intervention for my cousin's wife being an alcoholic we could cite specific ways alcohol has made it difficult for her and those around her. "when you drink you say mean things" "you've have 4 car wrecks this year" "you urinated on yourself in public" that's looking out --> Saying "I don't dispute your claims, I just think you should stop" isn't "looking out"

[Coup La-La]

Dump her to the curb. She cares nothing about you or your health.

 

She cares about everything except in regards to weed. She texts me seemingly every 2 hours "how are you feeling, are you dizzy, please sit down and rest"

 

That's the thing that's makes me so frustrated about this, she's a normal person in every other aspect of her life.

[Coup La-La]

That's her right, you know.

"A woman's prerogative: To change her mind. A man's prerogative: to change it back"

 

If she were drug-tested for a job or even if she got pulled over, she could get in trouble for smelling like it and it would show up on her test. If someone reports you at your home and she's there, she will also be arrested.

Where she lives it's basically illegal to drug test for a job, and she doesn't drive. Where I live it isn't legal yet, but the police won't arrest you for it, most of the time they won't even write a citation.

 

I know you probably think you keep the air clear, but I was around stoners and one myself long enough to know that everyone can smell it, especially those who aren't using it. This is why police can smell it even if it's not in the car at the time and their K9s, too. I know someone who still smokes only occasionally, but the smell never leaves her house. It's very obvious.

 

If you think her only issue is she doesn't believe it's legit treatment and you have some doctor willing to sit there and say it helps and that he prescribed it (not sure how that works if you're in a state where that's not legal), then by all means take her to him, but I hope she checks his credentials.

 

I don't smoke in my house, and I wear different clothes when I burn. Now, maybe if someone can suggest something to mask the smell, I would be more than interested

[Coup La-La]

Yes this. You both just have to accept that you can't be together. Find someone more compatible. Perhaps you should find someone who smokes too and she should find someone who does not smoke.

 

No, I don't accept that it's impossible to come to a compromise, especailly over something this stupid. I'm supposed to quit and miss out on the love of my life because of lies from the 1930s. ---> If I find another woman, she'll be missing something else. What am I gonna say "yes this new woman isn't as adventurous, or affectionate, or as into sex as my last one...but that's ok because she doesn't complain about me smoking"? F-THAT

 

That's why marriages of people when one partner leaves someone else to be with them rarely last, because people focus on one or 2 things and forget about everything else "I'm gonna leave my wife for my secretay, because my wife doesn't want to go out every saturday night, and she doesn't scream like a banshee when we have sex" ----> well the secretary is an idiot who will be mean to your children and spend all your money. not trying to be like that.

[Hopeful30]

Jesus' words were meant to inspire empathy, if she had more empathy she wouldn't object to me smoking.

 

So I guess there's your answer Coup La La. Looks like she isn't the girl for you (and that's okay!!) There are plenty of women out there who will accept your smoking of cannabis, and many who will probably want to join in!!

[Normm]

 

 

She doesn't like her boyfriend to smoke an illegal, smelly, mind altering substance that has it's own inherent health risks. How abnormal of her.

[Hopeful30]

She doesn't like her boyfriend to smoke an illegal, smelly, mind altering substance that has it's own inherent health risks. How abnormal of her.

 

^^This is how she perceives cannabis. Truth is, it doesn't have any inherent risks, otherwise it wouldn't be called "medical" cannabis and made legal (at least in several countries, US is slowly catching up).

[justwhoiam]

unfortunately no

First good reason why your gf doesn't want you to smoke herb: it's illegal where you live.

 

 

Then you said:

I have recommendations for weed from 6 different doctors in 4 different fields of medicine. I have shown her my Rx, from my ivy league educated Dr, that was so smart he graduated medical school at 20 (not college, medical school)

So I'm confused. How can they prescribe it if it's not legal where you live?! But then I guess you explain that you're asking doctors out of your state to prescribe it... Not sure how that works, but I can tell you one thing: you should have a neurologist following you and only the neurologist knows what's best for you knowing your situation in detail. Surely not general doctors.

 

 

That does scare me, especially now that I have a growth on my brain and have some important medical decisions coming up, and she's still bringing it up at every now and then. She just brought it up again today, and TBH I'm feeling really annoyed that she would bring this up when there are more important issues the require timely attention,

You should thank her for being concerned about your conditions (which includes not getting in trouble with the law), psychologically, physically aka health-wise.

 

 

I'm agnostic and she is super-duper Catholic

She has faith, she doesn't want you smoking weed. Is that so hard to understand?

 

I'm not thrilled about being in proximity to organized religion, or like the idea of having pictures of Jesus up in my house, but I realize that it's something very important to her, that helps her a lot, so I don't argue with her about it.

Did it ever occured to you that love also means sharing? Your approach to it so far is: it's her business, I don't mind. But if you are serious with her, that's just lame. I'm not saying you should be excited about it, but the sharing part is missing totally. And even if you can't see it, you might benefit from it.

 

 

Marijuana has a long, long list of beneficial medical benefits, that get's longer everyday, whereas alcohol is technically poison. Alcohol can kill you, marijuana can't. Alcohol and violence are opposite sides of the same coin, every state that has legalized weed has seen a reduction in violent crime.

This is so cliché. Please read this article if you care to know how the substance you're using can damage you: https://americanaddictioncenters.org/marijuana-rehab/long-term-effects

You also have a brain tumor, and weed consumption will most likely affect you neurologically. As I'm quite knowledgeable on the subject, may I ask what kind of brain tumor you have? The effects of THC were studied around 10 years ago, and last year a new study was published. That study is about the therapeutic effect of cannabinoids on GBM.

 

 

Me smoking everyday is more like diabetics who take insulin everyday

If you want to be taken seriously, then start being serious. Insulin is prescribed and is part of a therapy. Who prescribed YOUR therapy? Is it the same neurologist that is following up your brain tumor?

 

 

I used the think marijuana was bad, until I researched the facts.

Facts on use of specific phytocannabinoids? Where do you buy the product? Is the product absent of intoxicating effects such as the CB2-selective BCP and CBD?

 

 

The whole reason I started smoking in the first place was because of chronic nausea that has plagued me my whole life (as well as most people in my family as well), and to help my sleep be more regular (a problem I've had literally since the day I was born).

Honestly, I don't think it was a good idea. Any substance making you dependent on it never is.

 

 

these stupid myths.

There are no myths. Just advancing science.

 

instead of refuting with other scientific evidence, she just uses catch phrases like "addiction" or "you're making excuses" .....I don't think my health is an "excuse

I think you should listen to someone who loves you. If you're so convinced about the positive effects, then get a doctor supporting you, take her with you to a visit so she will be able to ask her own questions, then she'll accept it. Otherwise, yes, you're making up excuses.

 

Why do you take Asprin everyday

Because I get a lot of headaches, and it reduces the chances of a heart attack

You're making excuses

Always remember that no drug is totally risk-free. Daily use of aspirin can lead to stroke caused by a burst blood vessel, or to gastrointestinal bleeding or even allergic reaction. It's estimated around 3,000 people die each year because of daily aspirin.

 

 

My dad smoked cigarettes for decades

Depending on how heavy or massive his smoking habit was, brand of cigarettes, for how long it went on and how long ago he quit, he might start having problems as early as 50 something and quite likely before he'll be 70. This is based on stats. And from what I noticed about people around me.

 

Let's be honest the term "lifestyle" is something to imply that the other is immoral or undesirable. She and I both wake up and go to work everyday, come home and watch the news. We don't socialize at different levels, we have almost the same sleep schedule, and sometimes I even go to church with her when she asks. Me taking 4 -7 minutes a day to do anything (reading, jumping rope, smoking weed) is not a "lifestyle", I don't think about weed during the day, I don't spend any significant amount of time acquiring it, I don't even pay for it 1/2 the time.

I think you're using weed as a crutch and don't want to ever leave the crutch even if you don't have a broken leg nor foot.

 

When I spoke to my doctors (1st and 2nd opinion) about my tumor, they both were shocked that I didn't have hearing loss, blurry vision, or nerve damage, I have searched up and down, and the neuroprotective qualities of THC is the only explanation I can find as to why I have evaded these effects [not my diet, my exercise regimen, the climate].

I think you're being delusional. I've known dozens and dozens of patients with brain cancer at various stages, and no one of them was having hearing loss nor blurry vision... Neurological damage, yes, both from illness and from therapies.

 

I went for the MRI because I've been having dizzy spells, she's seen me fall and hurt myself

I so know what that means. I saw it happen to some family member very close to me.

 

she's see how sick I've been, and she's also seen me leave the house like that, go smoke weed, come back 6 minutes later, feeling 90% better

Any drug addict taking a dose feels better right away, but long-term? You keep complaining about her not reasoning, but you don't seem to be reasoning... just pushing your own motives.

 

 

The whole point is that we are on a cycle

I love you > 4 months later > "I can't be around this, this is a deal breaker" > 3 - 10 days later > "Do you want to come by and get it on?" > 2 hours later "I love you"

 

If it were deal breaker in her heart of hearts, she would've stopped talking to me years ago.

She loves you and wants you to quit, not that hard to understand. It'd be a dealbreaker for me too. But flesh is weak, love makes us weak. So that's her weak point. No one's perfect.

 

It's the size of a golf ball (literally)

Very similar to someone close to me.

 

 

No, I will have surgery to remove it. I've been told by both doctors that if I don't get the operation it will kill me eventually.

So, reading the above, I'm assuming it's GBM and you probably already talked to a neurosurgeon. If you don't get surgery, you'll hardly pass the one year mark. Knowing this, is your stance on weed really worth all this energy? Who will assist you post-surgery? Are you fully aware of what you can expect to happen? Edited March 14, 2019 by justwhoiam

[JuneL]

^^This is how she perceives cannabis. Truth is, it doesn't have any inherent risks, otherwise it wouldn't be called "medical" cannabis and made legal (at least in several countries, US is slowly catching up).

 

Huh? There’re plenty of prescribed medications that come with (potentially high) risks. Check out fentanyl, prednisone...

 

It’s especially dangerous to self-medicate with such drugs.

Edited March 14, 2019 by JuneL

[JuneL]

OP: I want to know why you kept delaying getting treatment/surgery for your brain tumor? This can be potentially life threatening. What did your brain surgeon say? Are you concerned that you might not have the excuse to smoke weed once your brain tumor is directly tackled?

[Hopeful30]

Huh? There’re plenty of prescribed medications that come with (potentially high) risks. Check out fentanyl, prednisone...

 

It’s especially dangerous to self-medicate with such drugs.

 

Absolutely agree. Pharmaceutical drugs have many side effects. Cannabis is an herb and grows naturally without chemical processing. Much safer and doesn't have any of the side effects that pharma drugs do (since they are artificial).

[JuneL]

Absolutely agree. Pharmaceutical drugs have many side effects. Cannabis is an herb and grows naturally without chemical processing. Much safer and doesn't have any of the side effects that pharma drugs do (since they are artificial).

 

I’m afraid you just saw what you wanted to see from my post. A lot of hard drugs come from natural plants too.

 

But I realize that, for you, weed smoking is like a religion. There’s no point in discussing, if you’re so adamant that it’s the sacred drug you need.

[Coup La-La]

She doesn't like her boyfriend to smoke an illegal, smelly, mind altering substance that has it's own inherent health risks. How abnormal of her.

 

1. she's made it clear she wouldn't care even if it were 100% legal and handed out on the street by cops wearing white gloves

 

2. I used to take psychiatric drugs, they made made a different person, and gave me physical withdrawal symptoms if I took my dose even 45 minutes late, NOBODY ever used the word "addict". One of the possible side effects of taking anti-depressants is becoming suicidal, NOBODY ever talked about "inherent health risks", why? Because we don't have emotional hangups about psychiatric drugs. We didn't have "just say no" commercials about Prozac. ---> This is the kind of thinking that I'm talking about, instead of making a nuanced judgement, we just go along with the lies from the 30s

[elaine567]

Absolutely agree. Pharmaceutical drugs have many side effects. Cannabis is an herb and grows naturally without chemical processing. Much safer and doesn't have any of the side effects that pharma drugs do (since they are artificial).

 

Hemlock is a herb and grows naturally without chemical processing, it will still kill you dead.

Natural vs artificial is a poor argument

[JuneL]

Hemlock is a herb and grows naturally without chemical processing, it will still kill you dead.

Natural vs artificial is a poor argument

 

So is medical vs not.

[Coup La-La]

First good reason why your gf doesn't want you to smoke herb: it's illegal where you live.

 

She's said repeated that she doesn't care about the legal status

 

So I'm confused. How can they prescribe it if it's not legal where you live?! But then I guess you explain that you're asking doctors out of your state to prescribe it... Not sure how that works, but I can tell you one thing: you should have a neurologist following you and only the neurologist knows what's best for you knowing your situation in detail. Surely not general doctors.

My Rx are from another state, 2 of those doctors are neurologists.

 

You should thank her for being concerned about your conditions (which includes not getting in trouble with the law), psychologically, physically aka health-wise.

 

Being concerned for someone, and being concereed for someone because of illogical reasons shouldn't be approached the same way. If I said "don't leave the house, the Earth is flat and you might fall off the edge" you would be talking about me believing a myth, not about how converned I am.

 

She has faith, she doesn't want you smoking weed. Is that so hard to understand?

One has NOTHING to do with the other. Several of the ministers I had as a youth smoke weed (in fact I just smoked with one of the recently), and the Bible defends as much. Not to mention that Cannibus use was very common in the 1st century middle East, I'm willing to bet that Jesus and / or his diciples smoked as well.

 

Did it ever occured to you that love also means sharing? Your approach to it so far is: it's her business, I don't mind. But if you are serious with her, that's just lame. I'm not saying you should be excited about it, but the sharing part is missing totally. And even if you can't see it, you might benefit from it.

Yes, but every coupld has something they don't share. My dad loves football, my mom hates it with a passion, that's why they watch TV in different rooms on Sunday afternoon.

 

may I ask what kind of brain tumor you have?

It's benign, but very big and starting to affect my balance

 

If you want to be taken seriously, then start being serious. Insulin is prescribed and is part of a therapy. Who prescribed YOUR therapy? Is it the same neurologist that is following up your brain tumor?

My GP gave me my Rx, I spoke to him about the diagnoses and he stated he thought it was a good idea to keep smoking, especially when I get nausea from being dizzy.

 

When he gave me my Rx, he made recommendations for specific strains. The weed insustry is quickly becoming standardized, I can't wait until Merk and Eli-Lily are in the business, so they can start spending some of that Corporate $ to dispell these mtyhs.

 

 

Honestly, I don't think it was a good idea. Any substance making you dependent on it never is.

There is nothing in this thread that implies that. When I've had job interviews when I knew I would be drug tested, I took a hiatus. When I've gone to countries with strict anti-weed laws, I've steered clear of it. People with dependence don't do that.

 

When my cousin's wife was in a cabin in the woods with her kids and ran out of alcohol, she left them alone to go buy some, when she saw all the stores were closed she got back and drank every bottle our mouthwash she could find: THAT is dependence , smoking to handle my nausea isn't. I've never failed a task or ignored a responsibility because of marijuana.

 

 

I think you should listen to someone who loves you. If you're so convinced about the positive effects, then get a doctor supporting you, take her with you to a visit so she will be able to ask her own questions, then she'll accept it.

 

That's clear, practial advise, thank you.

 

I think you're using weed as a crutch and don't want to ever leave the crutch even if you don't have a broken leg nor foot.

 

I think you're being delusional. I've known dozens and dozens of patients with brain cancer at various stages, and no one of them was having hearing loss nor blurry vision... Neurological damage, yes, both from illness and from therapies.

 

You're talking about something anecdotal, I'm talking about the numbers and statistic that both neurosurgeons told me. Both of them have stated that it's rare for someone with these circumstances not to have any hearing loss. If you have a competing hypothesis as to why I haven't had any hearing loss, I'm more than happy to hear it.

 

and again, if someone took mood stabilizers every day or anti-depressants you wouldn't say "you're using it as a crutch", even though we know what marijuana does, but drug companies admit that they don't completely understand how psychiatric drugs work. What's the difference: It comes in a plastic bottle with a corporate logo on it, so we accept it.

 

This is a pervasive problem in our society, and not just in regards to weed, we have so many double standards, there are so many things that lack consistency.

[Art_Critic]

There is nothing in this thread that implies that.

 

IMO, quite the contrary...

 

It's full of it, in fact most of your answers imply it.. you can't see it but I don't think trying to get you to see it is productive since the thread is about your GF

 

Like I said earlier.. you have all your bases covered, every question has an answer to why you shouldn't stop, change or alter your using...

 

I as an Alcoholic have a saying about my disease...

 

I have a disease that tells me it's okay to drink, it's okay to continue the behavior as if I'm drinking and it's up to me to realize that and make those adjustments so when I hear in my head it's okay that in reality I believe it isn't.. for today...

 

I hear some of that in you, in your posts...

 

Not judging.. just trying to help some.. even if it's later on down the road.

 

It seems like in your communication with your GF you have never gotten to the point where you understand HER position, maybe she just hasn't explained it to you in a fashion you can see it or you choose not to see it..

In the end this isn't about US but about you both being on the same page.. that is where you need to get in your communication with her.

[elaine567]

Acoustic neuroma?

[One2Three]

I agree about the vape pens, but I’m concerned that she breaks up with you over something you need medically. Big, fat red flag.

 

She doesn't believe it is a medical need most likely. Many people do not believe in medical uses of pot.

[Coup La-La]

Any drug addict taking a dose feels better right away, but long-term? You keep complaining about her not reasoning, but you don't seem to be reasoning... just pushing your own motives.

 

Myth busters:

 

The addiction defined by the American Medical Association

 

Tolerance, as defined by any of the following:

A) The need to significantly increase the amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or

The desired effect

or

(B) Effect remarkably diminished with the continuous use of the same amount of substance. -> Does not apply to me, I have smoked the same amount for 14 years

 

2. Withdrawal, as manifested by any of the following:

A) The abstinence syndrome characteristic of the substance.

or

(B) The same substance (or closely related) is taken to alleviate or prevent withdrawal

The symptoms.

---> It does not apply to me, when I did not smoke when I lived in the Middle-East, I do not smoke when I'm in Thailand either, nor when I I lived in Easter Europe. I have rejected marijuana offers every time I have been to those places.

 

3. The substance is often taken in larger quantities or for a longer period than anticipated. -> Does not apply to me, I have smoked the same amount for 14 years

 

4. There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to reduce or control the use of substances. -> It does not apply to me, there were times when I had to immediately stop drug testing and did it without problems

 

5. A lot of time is devoted to the activities necessary to obtain the substance (as

To visit several doctors or drive long distances, to use the substance (for example,

Smoking chain), or recover from its effects.

-> It does not apply to me, either I go to the dispensary in the next state over, or more commonly I just have delivered to my house. And I don't even pay it half the time.

 

6. Important social, occupational or recreational activities are given or reduced because of the use of substances. -> It does not apply to me: smoking has never interfered with my life or social responsibilities. I am and have always been the most sociable person we all know. All the bosses I have had congratulated me for my dedication. Even my friends call me "Mr. 1" because I'm always the 1st person to arrive at birthday parties and social gatherings.

 

7. The use of the substance continues despite the knowledge of having a physical or Psychological problem that has probably been caused or exacerbated by the (For example, the current use of cocaine despite the recognition of Depression or continued alcohol consumption despite recognition that an ulcer worsened alcohol consumption). -> Does not apply to me, marijuana has a long list of positive effects for health.

 

 

C'mon people, let's be more judicious with the word "addiction"

[Coup La-La]

OP: I want to know why you kept delaying getting treatment/surgery for your brain tumor? This can be potentially life threatening. What did your brain surgeon say? Are you concerned that you might not have the excuse to smoke weed once your brain tumor is directly tackled?

 

My operation is already scheduled, unfortunately I have to wait 2 months because the surgeon has a lot of patients. To make it worse he told me that if someone comes in with more dire need than mine, my operation date will get pushed back