Wife mad, got better paying job but it isn't working out.

[LoveFiend]

So I left a $12/hr warehouse job with benefits for a job that is paying me 45k a year in social services. I got my MBA/ Masters in Social Work and was looking for a better paying job while I worked at a warehouse. I finally landed a 45k a year job in my major but it appears not to be working out.

 

 

My wife is pissed off at me because although my old job was $12/hr it offered decent healthcare coverage for her that covered a lot of her medical bills, she has a lot of health problems. I lost all my coverage when I took new job and won't get insurance back till 90 days are completed on new job. We both are living with my father. She does housekeeping for a living that doesn't pay benefits.

 

 

The problem is my new manager liked my resume and liked me when he interviewed me for job. He at first pressured me to leave current warehouse job with no notice. Told me I will pay you 45k a year if you leave current job you have now with no notice. Then I told him I needed at least a little notice to give current employer out of courtesy. He told me fine and gave me a date to start that was only 1 weeks notice and said that he really needed someone he didn't want to delay my start date any further.

 

 

... so out of a gamble I went after job giving only last employer only a weeks notice at the warehouse since I didn't want to pass up 45k a year. My old boss on last day I am quitting like the last 5 minutes of day tells me because I am only giving him 1 week notice HR has determined I can't come back. He says HR thinks you will just leave again the next time you see greener pastures.

 

 

Anyway new job doesn't seem to be working out. There are a few of us they just hired as new hires and on 2nd day we all get warned on job of our "performance". We are told everything in one day and then since we can't remember everything we are told on 2nd day we already start getting warnings. Each day in the week seems like "Am I going be fired today or tomorrow?". On 3rd day we have department meeting and new hires are told this position we landed is either "sink or swim" and we will be made to "cry uncle". Then we are told about the people who were good employees, but left to other places to work that management hated to see go. And then we are told about all the people they fired that management tells us no way in hell they will ever hire back.

 

 

So I feel like crap. I feel like I screwed up my wife. I needed the money bad and took the bate, but like wife says I got a little too greedy. I threw away the great health coverage we had on old job on a gamble new one was going work out.

 

 

What do I do? What do I tell my wife?

[preraph]

Just try to hang on in your new job. Don't know why she's throwing a fit about the insurance. I guess she doesn't understand how companies work. Just tell her that's how it is and to get used to it.

 

 

Keep looking like you're working real hard and keep your head down and just see if you can hang on there. That's good money. But if not, you shouldn't have much trouble finding another warehouse job at all to tide you over until you get another position.

[Blanco]

Thought your wife sounded a bit unreasonable, but I then looked at your other threads to see if I could get more context.

 

Is this the job you mentioned moving for in another thread late last year? If so, I can better understand your wife's frustration. It sounds like she had hang-ups about moving for the job, and now her fears are being realized. This is on top of the other things she has had to endure because of your decisions.

 

It sounds like you're not able to get your old job back, but if you did relocate, is it possible to find a comparable job to your warehouse one back home with benefits? This is one of those things a lot of us younger folks just tend to gloss over. We long at salary only, not really taking into consideration health benefits, which can be worth their weight in gold under the right circumstances.

[standtall]

OP, if you're in the US you should be offered COBRA to fill in the gap between the insurance coverage.

[Mrs._December]

If your wife is capable of cleaning houses (which is cash under the table and we both know this) then whatever health issues she has obviously don't prevent her from working any type of office job.

 

Why hasn't she looked for a better job, maybe a desk job or some other opportunity that pays more than a few hundred dollars a month which I assume she's making cleaning houses under the table? You're living at your father's house so obviously, you can't afford for you and your wife to live on your own.

 

As long as you're making $12 an hour, you'll always live at your father's house. If you're old enough to be married, then you're old enough to be supporting yourself without having to run to your parents.

 

When I was a single mother I had to suck it up EVERY SINGLE DAY and face the hell of a job that I couldn't STAND going to every morning, but it was paying the rent, feeding my son and I, and keeping us off the streets. So I continued going there every morning, sometimes crying on the way to work because it was so horrible. But I DID it. And that's what adults sometimes have to do in order to provide for their own.

 

So suck it up and stop whining. And if your wife is so short-sighted that all she can think about is health insurance, then that's another real good reason for her to get her butt out to work in the real world - maybe she can find a job that offers her the health insurance benefits she's been bitching about.

[elaine567]

 

So suck it up and stop whining. And if your wife is so short-sighted that all she can think about is health insurance, then that's another real good reason for her to get her butt out to work in the real world - maybe she can find a job that offers her the health insurance benefits she's been bitching about.

 

I wouldn't be too hard on his wife. Read his other threads she is a saint...

[Mr. Lucky]

OP, if you're in the US you should be offered COBRA to fill in the gap between the insurance coverage.

 

True, but he'd be paying the full premium for the two of them. Usually a shock to people how expensive that is.

 

Anyway new job doesn't seem to be working out. There are a few of us they just hired as new hires and on 2nd day we all get warned on job of our "performance". We are told everything in one day and then since we can't remember everything we are told on 2nd day we already start getting warnings. Each day in the week seems like "Am I going be fired today or tomorrow?". On 3rd day we have department meeting and new hires are told this position we landed is either "sink or swim" and we will be made to "cry uncle". Then we are told about the people who were good employees, but left to other places to work that management hated to see go. And then we are told about all the people they fired that management tells us no way in hell they will ever hire back.

 

Boy, sounds like the corporate version of The Hunger Games. But someone has to survive this process, eh? I'd work very hard - and very smart - to make sure it's me. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to the little things...

 

Mr. Lucky

[S2B]

Look for other work.

 

Have your wife look for other work too. If she wants to complain then SHE is also capable of being part of any solution.

[d0nnivain]

What do I do? What do I tell my wife?

 

You tell your wife to hang on & that benefits are coming in 90 days.

 

then you buckle down & do your job. When your salary doubled so did your work responsibilities. Step up & use that brain of your that enabled you to get your MBA. If you are a social worker you have some ability to counsel others. Think about what you would say to a client who told you what you just posted, then take your own advice.

 

If your wife cleans for work, have her apply at a company that does pay benefits & wages against which she will be able to collect Social Security later like a housekeeper in a hotel or something.

[BaileyB]

Where in the world did you get this job? I work in social services and I have never heard anything of this sort in a workplace. Are you actually working as a social worker?

[Crazelnut]

Where in the world did you get this job? I work in social services and I have never heard anything of this sort in a workplace. Are you actually working as a social worker?

 

I'll bet it's one of those EAP call centers.

[LoveFiend]

Look for other work.

 

Have your wife look for other work too. If she wants to complain then SHE is also capable of being part of any solution.

 

Yeah I don't know a lot of factory and warehouse jobs in my area.

 

The woman I am being trained with seems to be putting on the new hires unreasonable demands. We take notes and she tells us everything once and expects us to have a photographic memory of how to do it. Like after the first day we get chastised for her for not remembering how to do something she told us on our first day on the job to do.

 

She throws all this information on us that it seems like she has collected in her brain for doing her job for years and expects us to be able to do everything she does after like only 1 week of training. Then second week comes and it literally is like hell everyday working with her. Starting on Monday it is like "Omg you guys don't remember how to do this I told you last week check your notes!" She says just give me a ring if you guys get stuck or need help, but then when we do ask for help we get verbally chastised and screamed at for asking for help with the usual lines "I already told you guys how to do this!" She makes us feel stupid. "Learn the information!"

 

Then there is the attack on my Education, Licenses, and Certifications she routinely makes everyday on the job. She will ask me, "Where did you say you went to college again?" and she will ask, " You got your certifications and you can't answer the question I just asked you? You got your MBA, yet you don't know how to do this? You can't answer correctly my questions?" Then when I ask questions she gives me a look on her face like I am really stupid and she asks me "why did you ask me that question?" Sometimes she will just ignores my questions altogether.

 

My wife gets made at me and tells me if she is this way why did you even take the job then. I tell her I had no idea she was going act like this once I was hired. She is mad I screwed up the health insurance we had at other job that paid $12/hr and in many ways I am mad at myself too.

Edited March 15, 2019 by LoveFiend

[bathtub-row]

You have an MBA but you’re accepting jobs at $12/hr and $45k/yr?? Most non-degreed people could make that without even trying. I think you need to focus on a new line of work. Also, the next time an employer tries to persuade you to screw over your current employer, don’t agree to it. It’s a red flag about the type of people you’ll be dealing with. I say it’s no love lost with either job. Keep the one you have, stop getting sucked into office gossip, and start looking for a new position that pays a good deal more.

[d0nnivain]

The woman I am being trained with seems to be putting on the new hires unreasonable demands. We take notes and she tells us everything once and expects us to have a photographic memory of how to do it. Like after the first day we get chastised for her for not remembering how to do something she told us on our first day on the job to do.

 

She throws all this information on us that it seems like she has collected in her brain for doing her job for years and expects us to be able to do everything she does after like only 1 week of training. Then second week comes and it literally is like hell everyday working with her. Starting on Monday it is like "Omg you guys don't remember how to do this I told you last week check your notes!" She says just give me a ring if you guys get stuck or need help, but then when we do ask for help we get verbally chastised and screamed at for asking for help with the usual lines "I already told you guys how to do this!" She makes us feel stupid. "Learn the information!"

 

Her screaming is bad but her expectations are not unreasonable. If I am hiring an MBA, I don't expect to have to repeat myself. I should be able to give you a manual of how things get done in this office, explain myself once & then have you do the job.

 

The day I started at my first post-grad degree job, there weren't even any other people on my level at the place. They were all out in the field. I came in. One of the secretaries pointed me to what would be my work space. There were 10 files there & I was told to get to work. So I did.

 

You just weren't properly prepared for this new high functioning position. You thought it would be like your old low level job where the expectation is that you can't do much right & have to be constantly supervised. The real world isn't like that. You have to make a greater effort.

[Mr. Lucky]

Her screaming is bad but her expectations are not unreasonable. If I am hiring an MBA, I don't expect to have to repeat myself. I should be able to give you a manual of how things get done in this office, explain myself once & then have you do the job.

 

Long ago, I worked as as "back of house" trainer for a restaurant company, teaching recent college grads (typically with Hospitality degrees) kitchen management.

 

It was amazing how little real world knowledge most of them had. Inventory, cost control, scheduling - they looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.

 

The OP may need to apply a little more street smarts and a little less theoretical thinking...

 

Mr. Lucky

[LoveFiend]

Yeah now I am thinking of all ways can make 40-45k a year on 3 jobs if I lose this job instead. I knew one guy making over 40k a year who worked at the warehouse I use to work, but he worked 3 jobs barely slept and would go twice a week to sell his blood for money to blood banks. He also had his side business of selling things he found in junkyards for money.

 

My wife only makes McDonalds wages. Her hours have been cut. She barely graduated high school having to take a lot of remedial classes. They put her in a lot of dummy classes in high school. She said her grades were awful in school teachers and students called her dumb and stupid. She is not retarded, but is probably very close to the borderline. So I am not sure if she could ever get a better paying job then what McDonalds pays. Even at McDonalds she gets made fun of for being too slow and being such a slow learner. She has no strength and can barely lift 5 lb objects it seems so I am not sure if better paying warehouse work would ever work out for her. She completely depends on me for insurance.

 

Whats worse since I quit my old job and started this one I just got COBRA forms in mail. It is going cost me over $2,000 for my wife and I to be on COBRA to continue insurance from old company. I was paying like only $400 a month to insure both of us when I worked at warehouse. Even if I just wanted to insure my wife alone it would cost me $800 a month!

 

So I really hope new job worked out and am regretting leaving old job, because if I doesn't worked out I really screwed me and my wife.

[bathtub-row]

I’m trying to figure out why you’d have to work 3 jobs to make $45k/yr when you have a degree. Where do you live - in a third world country?

[LoveFiend]

I’m trying to figure out why you’d have to work 3 jobs to make $45k/yr when you have a degree. Where do you live - in a third world country?

 

A lot of people with college degrees actually. Funny thing is a lot of people I worked with at warehouse thought it was so easy for someone with a degree to make that kind of money and the only reasons they weren't making that money was because they didn't have a degree. Not True.

 

I worked with so many people like myself who had college degrees yet struggled even to land $10-$12/hr jobs, some couldn't even land any job at all even with a college degree and were unemployed.

 

A lot of it is how selective your college is and your major. Those who go to more selective colleges have easy times landing 40k+ a year jobs, those who don't really struggle to land any job. Like at the college I went to the average ACT scores of entering freshman were 17-22 and the average SAT scores were between 850-1000. That is about right in the range I scored on those tests. My college was ranked very lightly competitive and almost everyone who applies gets accepted into college. We had like an 85% acceptance rate. Only like 30% of those accepted at my college completed a 4 year degree in 4 years or less, I completed mine in only 3 years taking summer classes each year.

 

Even when I went back after I got my bachelors from my college to get my MBA I did not need to take any GMAT scores. They waived it because I had previous work experience and had a 3.5 GPA. Later got a 3.89 GPA in my MBA program. Most of my classmates seemed about the same level as me, there were a few smart kids at my college but not that many in all honesty. Most of my classmates got similar ACT and SAT scores as I did.

[Mr. Lucky]

Most of my classmates seemed about the same level as me, there were a few smart kids at my college but not that many in all honesty. Most of my classmates got similar ACT and SAT scores as I did.

 

I think you're underselling yourself, your should have higher expectations with a MBA. Outside of specific jobs in very specific fields, few employers look your college up in the US N&WR rankings to see where it stands. Working hard to succeed in your present job helps you build a knowledge and experience base that pays off down the road. Warehouse work offers no career help at all...

 

Mr. Lucky

[bathtub-row]

Ok, fine. But stop comparing yourself to others. Keep looking until you land a better job. Consider moving to a smaller city in a less competitive market and you might do better. Or accept a job at a big company where it may not pay great but you have the potential to move up. Don’t just give up because others didn’t get what they wanted. You seem to have a lot going for you.

[LoveFiend]

Yeah this week boss had meeting with whole group about me. They locked themselves in a room and I overheard their conversation while I patiently waited to hear from the boss himself. I heard things like "would you put your job on the line for him?". "can he be trusted?" "you have a good personality for this position, but him ...". Then I hear him tell the group in the room, "you know he actually is really smart. He correctly answered [a question] that no one else I have interviewed knew the answer to except him."

 

 

 

Then they leave room come back and boss openly starts talking about my performance with me and group, I was a little upset that it was not a private meeting. Tells me based on resume and skill set I showed in interview he was impressed, but unfortunately he is not seeing what he saw on the interview with my actual performance. Told me I am performing down here *waiving his hand at his ankles* when he expects me to be performing up here *waiving his hand above his chest*.

 

 

 

He tells me he is very dissappointed, but was very dissappointed with the other new hires too and will have seperate conversations with them as well. He tells me to be honest he has been interviewing others for my position and the other new hires. He tells me he is still on the fence weather to keep me still onboard and is still on the fence if he wants to keep the other new hires onboard as well. For now I am still hired but that could change if my performance doesn't improve.

 

 

 

So I have seperate meeting with him next day in private. He tells me don't worry I am not firing you today, which gave me little comfort. He tells me he actually thinks I am a very smart young man, which I found really funny since I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a kid and consider myself incredibly dumb. He says based off my resume and my interview I can excel at this job and be great but my biggest enemy is myself. He says he watches me and observes my behavior. Boss tells me I have a very low self esteem and no self confidence in anything I do. He tells me your actually very smart, you just don't think you are. He tells me he wants me to have more self confidence, have a chip on my shoulder, I need to tell myself "I know how to do this".

 

 

 

So not liking the idea of gambling and hoping maybe boss keeps me onboard, I been trying to contact old employers and look for different work. Left message with old boss that I gave a short notice to for this job and tried calling, but never got a call back. I think he is still pissed off at me that I only gave a week notice. He never answers phone when I have been trying to call him. A friend told me months ago he could get me hired doing local trucking so I might see if that job is still available. There also is a couple very dangerous jobs I can do. One is about an hour away working in a slaughter house. The other one is a very dangerous factory job, one guy I know almost lost his whole hand working there... but if you need a job you need a job I would be happy if they hired me on.

 

 

Wife keeps reminding me how stupid I was to leave old job for a better paying job and screw up my insurance. Talked to our family doctor on the phone and she agreed with my wife and told me how stupid that was. Our doctor told me my wife's medical bills will be so incredibly expensive without insurance. She said my wife needs an MRI and tests done, but now she can't because I screwed up their insurance. I was hoping to make it through 90 day probation period with new job so I could get on new company's insurance, but that won't happen now and cobra costs over $2,000 a month for me and my wife.

Edited March 30, 2019 by LoveFiend

[bathtub-row]

Divorce your negative, nagging wife, quit the stupid job, move very far way. Start over. Try Santa Fe, NM or Los Alamos, NM if you live in the States. Degreed people can fare very well over there and the competition is far less. Not to mention the way of life will knock your socks off.

 

Your boss was WAY out of line talking to you like that with others present.

 

Btw, dyslectic people are typically extremely intelligent. You far undersell yourself.

[FMW]

We all learn as we go in life. It's too late to do anything about your choice to leave the other job for this one so don't waste time and energy on beating yourself up over it. You now know what an important part of the total compensation package healthcare is and can use that wisdom in the future when evaluating options.

 

Do your best in what sounds like a difficult situation. Look for other employment options, but don't make any quick decisions. Consider your options carefully.

 

Is your wife's health so precarious that waiting 90 days for any procedure puts her health in jeopardy? Obviously we should never put our health at risk, but most of the time waiting 90 days isn't an undue hardship unless something unexpected pops up.

 

And I agree that your boss was WAY out of line and that your wife sounds like nag.

[Simple Logic]

True, but he'd be paying the full premium for the two of them. Usually a shock to people how expensive that is.

 

 

 

Boy, sounds like the corporate version of The Hunger Games. But someone has to survive this process, eh? I'd work very hard - and very smart - to make sure it's me. Keep your eyes open and pay attention to the little things...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Well let’s see. 3 months pay at $45K= 11,250. 3 months pay @ $12= 6240.

Even at $1200 a month for insurance, he would be money ahead.

[BTDT2012]

It sounds like your boss doen't really want to fire you. Why would you want to go back to looking for $12/hour jobs. Look for other jobs in your field.