How deep is your love

[Hotdiggitydammit]

Ok people I need your help. Reading over so many posts, I am surely confused. I had this ex, who is really creative and I admire her without a doubt. However, I don't know who she is, because the stories Im hearing seem to be convoluted. One things is sure, I think she is my soul mate. I went to see a gypsy, and everything seems so true. It seems everyone is saying that I am not on her mind and she has moved on for good. She tells me she doesn't love me, and it has hurt so much. I dont' know what has gone on recently, and its not anything I care to know. I asked her to leave the door open, but she told me it can never be so. So is this the end, even though we have this connectivity. I even know how she writes, and she knows how I think. But I am a fool for suffering, I just want to know that the door is not completely shut.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

I guess I am crazy. I am actually believing what I want to hear. I imagined everything myself. I need to get some help. Is there a doctor in the house.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

I dont want to think about any of this anymore. I need to see a shrink. Is it really that hard to get a simple answer. Why would she call me yesterday. I swore that I caught her in her plot, but now I think its my own plot again. I hate this feeling as it has completely controlled everything I do. I cannot believe again that I actually believe my paranoia. Where is the doctor, he just doesn't call me back. I cannot do anymore work because of this all.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

Any help would be freakin nice.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

Okay people this is a figment of my imagination. I thought I was stronger than this but why do I keep coming here. I know that it is over, but I want to believe it isn't she told me she doesnt love me. So I have to accept that as fate. I am going to dig a hole now, and hide in it. Its just so dark now, I cant believe this shame that I am crazy like she says.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

No help anywhere? Well then F8ck this. Im going to Vegas and forget about all this. I gotta stop thinking this crazy stuff and just go out and get laid. I really believed she was actually on here. What a joke I am? So from now on, I will hold no more emotions. It is emotions making me think about her. I dont want to think about her coming back. Thanks LS, I just realized that it is time to go have fun. Dont hold anything back and waste your time thinking about the past. I actually thought I needed a counselor, but the therapy is to just go out and find someone to forget about her. I finally get the moral of this place. Quit trying to hold onto the past. I now understand why she left. Shes already forgotten about me. I should help myself and go out as much as I can until I find the right one. Great ideas people. Who wants to go to Vegas? Tommy here I come. Bring the ladies!

[Hotdiggitydammit]

And WTF would I wait now to come to think about it. I am not going to be someone's sloppy seconds. Its time I have other take the sloppy seconds. I am so freakin clueless. Theres nothing for me to wait. I am just imagining these voices. I got to move past this and accept that she is gone. You people are all screwed up. What you all waiting for sitting around? I guess I gotta go get my needs as I am realizing. Waiting for damaged goods is not my idea wanting the best. Waiting for her means you are wanting to be second best? What a sick feeling? I am getting upset again. Good thing my doctor for the heart didn't tell me everything. Its better to live and let die. Live fast and if I die, I will die young but I will definitely live. Peace out brothers. I have places to go, and fishes to catch.

[crazy_grl]

I think you had the right idea with counseling. The answer is never to go find another person (or persons) to replace one you need to forget about. If you feel you have to do that, you should seek counseling.

[lost_in_chgo]

If you showed a similar level of desperation with her that you showed posting repeatedly to this message board this afternoon, you probably pushed her away. Try toning it down a bit.

 

And no one ever shows every side of their personality to one person. People react differently to different people.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

Sorry people but I gotta get this out. I didnt think clearly. My advice to everyone is to find someone who makes you happy, whoever it may be. Don't wait for something that will never materialize. Its time to live your life but don't hold out for someone. If the opportunity presents itself then there's nothing wrong with getting it on. Just don't put any emotional attachment to it thats what I say. So you just need to test out all that you can until you find the first one that makes it right. You all deserve to have your own pleasures so don't do yourself a disservice. If they are going out, then you better do it to. Don't save yourself for them. At least if you actually do get back together, then there's no guilt on either side. You cannot say one person was true to their words. Your not being fair to yourself while one side is having fun. There's no more time for being the nice guy. You need to get experience for yourself and and pamper yourself until it becomes boring. Wow, I guess this is the best way to get over your Exs. Just forget about what they represent to you because it just makes you waste your time. Go out and take actions on all your urges. I always thought this was sick, but it makes so much sense. Why wait when its easier to go and look for yourself? Better to just replace her for someone who may be just the next best thing.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

That's so funny. I once explored therapy for this and what they say is that I should go get sex therapy to get rid of all my fears. Learn to be more open to exploring your body with someone else. What I learned was that I need to find what it is that I am looking for in someone? Certain people have different ideals they strive for in a person. I have self-respect and why should I pass up opportunities that fit my ideal, right. Its possible there is someone else who fit my ideal? Of course. Is it possible I can get help at the same time and be open to the opportunities available. People shouldn't deprive themselves thinking they need to while they are waiting for someone to come back. There's no logic to that at all. Haven't I read this from everyone that it is better to just move and and deal. Don't wait for something to come back the same. Sometimes what you have been waiting for isn't no longer what you want. People should move forward but leave that emotional attachment behind. People should do things for themselves, not for others. Maybe both will feel the same in the end, then you know that you are made for each other.

[RainyDayWoman]

i think you need to calm down.

 

your level of impatience is a huge turn-off even for strangers like us, so i can't imagine how it must be for someone who knows you that you want to have a relationship with.

[Hotdiggitydammit]

OK I will take your advice and see if my feelings change so that I know if this is truly my feelings. Maybe I will be in a better state to actually make better decisions. I dont understand how it can be a double standard. Why would I be wrong with taking the same mentality. I guess I find out starting tomorrow, and find out why this is hurting so much. Why does it make me feel so worthless if I wait, knowing that it doesn't mean anything to her......I think it is just better to move forward, don't you think?

[Merin]

I think when someone tells you they DON'T love you, it's best to believe them.

 

When they tell you the door has been closed for good, again.. best to not try the handle to make sure..

 

IF she changes her mind, she knows how to reach you..

 

 

[LilBrokenOne]

I don't understand your posts. Can you slow down and explain your situation? What happened, etc.? Maybe then you can get some helpful advice. Sometimes people tell people they do not love them for a reason, even though they still love that person. Maybe if you explain everything people could better help you?