lilmoma1973 Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Hey Skinnut, I am sorry to hear that you won't be replying to this post anymore because people are bashing you.. If you don't STAY AT HOME 24/7 then thats why they are cause you can't understand what stay at home parents go through..My cousin stayed at home and took care of his boys and he told me and my h never treat your wife like she doesn't have a job staying at home because it is a job but she don't get paid for it.He did this for his two boys and he told my h it was harder than having to work a paying job ..He said yeah you don't have a boss but you are always on the clock .. You never get a break till you lay your head down.. I understand that you do yard work but isn't that a man's job... I feel that she is doing other things with her time because she feels you aren't giving her what she needs so she feels why bother!! Women need the emotional side as well as the physical side and if we don't get it we tend to shut down and not care !! Get that book The Five Love languages by Gary Smalley it is really good and also read Relationship Rescue by Dr. Phil those are really good books to read it helps you to start looking at yourself and not always blaming your wife!!! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 it would be nice to hear someone stick up for the guys (i've stuck up for the ladies and stated how hard a job staying home is) but the more I see what goes on daily- the more I'm skeptical. This will be my last post on this since I just see myself getting beat up. I'm too deflated at this point... Ohhhh, don't leave! I haven't read the other posts, but I told you that some women hate the chores around the house. And they are really boring. So she doesn't have to do them, she can find a (part-time) job and pay a woman to come 2-3 times a week. Hopefully you don't restrict her in her choice to find a job. I agree that if she is not working, someone has to do the cleaning and since you're working, it has to her. 1. She can create less mess. Believe it or not, how careful you are while making a mess has a lot to do with the time you spend on cleaning it. 2. She can make a plan of chores, e.g. main cleaning on weekends, but keeping the house neat (as in no piles of dishes or toys on the floor) every day. 3. The school child could help picking up the toys and putting dishes in the washer and similar small tasks. My twins are almost 7 y.o. so I know what kids are able to do. 4. Finally, you could tell her that you want a clean place when you come home. If she can tell you to leave the bathroom as you found it prior to your entrance, why couldn't a husband tell his wife the same thing? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Two words : Cleaning Lady. Get her to come in once every two weeks. Your wife can handle the rest. Declutter the house, doing laundry and keeping things in order is what your wife can do throughout the days. The cleaning lady can do that big deep cleaning and all your wife has to do is keep on top of things. I agree with another poster in complimenting her on the house. Sometimes it's just nice to hear, hey, the house looks great - I know you're tired and it's probably been a long day for you... At the same time, I hope she tells you nice things to make you feel good too. Don't leave just because you may not like some advice on here. Harshness is tough to take at times, but many people are just being honest with how they feel about your situation, everybody has an opinion... She needs to put into marriage as much as you do : making nice meals, giving you a foot massage or running a bath for you. I do this for my husband alot! Even if it's just letting him do his thing for afew hours, I know he works really hard. Take it one day at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
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