Mysterio Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Whats your definition of Friendship? How much time do you need to spend with each other to be friends? My quick take is this. A friendship is where we both get something out of it. We also have to be on a certain rhythm with each other. I would say seeing each other. Minimum of a year or at least talking on the phone is a must. All friends are on different levels. Some are Monthly and yearly and quarterly. More later. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 I wish I lived closer to my best friend. We only use to see each other about once or twice a year but she and her husband got a place on the beach near where I live so I get to hang out with her more in summertime. I’ll take it gladly but if we lived closer twelve months a year that’d be nice too. We’ve been friends since we were four years old and have been through a heck of a lot together. Lots of history there. Link to post Share on other sites
PansLabyrinth Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Being able to recognise and be honest about when one of you is either in the wrong or is 'acting up', being able to apologise and mean it, be there for one another through the hardships and also the highs. Someone you know you can truly rely on and doesn't 'use' you for their own personal gain or when they need something. With regard to how much time you spend with them this is completely subjective, some of my friends I will see on a weekly basis, others I touch base with on a monthly/yearly basis. However I would most likely classify them as acquaintances rather than 'friends' My mother always tells me, you will have many acquaintances in life but very few friends, I happen to agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Playwright Oscar Wilde wrote, "True friends stab you in the front." So, my definition of friendship is one where both people are loyal to and transparent with each other. A true friend would never say anything bad about you behind your back, only to your face. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 My mother always tells me, you will have many acquaintances in life but very few friends, I happen to agree. Yes that's very true, an old saying but timeless! Friendship is a great thing if you have genuine friends. Some people can be very lucky with friendships-like that they are still good friends with childhood/ school/college friends, but as pointed out on other threads, for many of us we need to find new friends as we go through life, friendships come and go too. I think as a starting point people at least need a few acquaintances to meet up with, to get them out of the house as it were, then gradually perhaps maybe every 1 in 50 acquaintances will become a friend that you can get to know better and develop lasting friendship. I think the term "using" other is wrong, however there has to be a certain benefit of being friends with someone, I.e whether it is to meet up for a drink, play sport etc, friends can fade away very quickly once this usefulness is not there. some people will make friends easier than others, "if you don't talk to strangers, you will never make any friends" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted March 17, 2019 Author Share Posted March 17, 2019 My friendship definition are as follows. Monthly friends, where you see/talk on a monthly basis. Quarterly friends where you get together 3 to 5 times a yr. Yearly friends where you see each other 1-2 times a yr. Out of town friends. at least 2 -3 times a yr on the phone. Its funny for me. I have friends that are single and no child or maybe a wife. I see them less than the ones that have kids/married. I am more a talker and introspective when it comes to life. I am less about Sports. I see Movies/talk about life. So I am out a lot. I like more one on one type of relationships. I have more male friends than female friends. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 friendship is like a long lost sister from another mother, like a brother who has your back when you need to run for cover, friendship is laughter and the tears that you want to share, its when a friend hurts its a true friend that always cares, its no matter how much time or distance you spend apart, a loyal friend has you in their prayers from their heart. friendship etymology is a state or ship of being in conjugal love, friendship is best when felt by both and gifted from the good lord above, my grandpa once told me if you can hold up one hand and have that many friends, that means god has blessed me and that I should thank him in prayers that I send I have been blessed to find friendship from honest true friends i hope every one has that blessing till life on earth ends because a little birdy told me once that true love never dies, and i hope everyone sees that love, once in their lifetime through a friends eyes......... a friendship of compassionate honesty and warmth, devoid of lies deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 A true friend will do any the following: (1) Come get you (anytime) you've had too much to drink and need a ride home (no questions asked). (2) Will help you move (bonus for bringing a truck) (3) Pick you up from the airport. True story, I actually had an ex-girlfriend "drunk dial" me (we were still kind of friendly), as she had way too much to drink. I told her to stay put. I went and got her (from the local bar), took her home & left. I left her a note to call me in the morning when she sobered up and we'd go get her car. She remembered none of the previous night, but was very thankful I had been there for her. She called me a "true friend". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Friends are expected to have an obligation to each other. Acquaintances do not. The amount of time you spend with him or her doesn't matter as much as whether you can counbt on that person. Call them at home? Ask favors? Followup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 That's a really good way to put it. I have friends who I might not see for months, but they will be there if I call them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted March 19, 2019 Author Share Posted March 19, 2019 I guess what I don't like about my 3 friends MO/DT/DS is that they don't come off to me as being super heavy duty busy with stuff. I am not trying to talk to everyone every week. Its more a phone thing than anything at all. When I talk to DT. I will stress that I don't think its fair that I do all the planning and get together. He has to learn to balance his digital entertainment with his family and friends. Not be so locked into it that he can't pick up a phone and make an effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Nilfiry Posted March 19, 2019 Share Posted March 19, 2019 It only takes an instant to make a friend because it takes only an instant to decide that you want to be someone's friend and stick to that commitment. Time is irrelevant, and only matters because there is so much politics, dishonesty, and self-interest going around that people need time to properly vet their friends. Of course, even then, one could be wrong because you can know a person but you can never know what they are thinking. As for what friendship takes for me, all I really need is someone that can be trusted, is faithful, and is understanding. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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