Shivzo Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) So girlfriend and I are back together but it seems things seem quite rocky in my perspective. We broke up in December due to me kissing another girl because I encouraged each other to see other people while she didn't want to so yeah I cheated on her but told her. I have lied to her in the past about during our break ups how many people I've slept with, she always claimed to be loyal (no sexual encounters) to me which I believed for a long time until now. I was about to send a funny picture to her friend on her phone but seen a message with a list of boys names including mine, one of the names said "liverpool random" I quickly gave her phone back and never questioned her about it until the next day. She got all defensive saying I snooped around her phone when clearly it was when I was beside her, saying that it was a list of people who she has kissed and her telling her friend. She then told me afterwards 5 of them were people she slept with 1 being me, 2 being before us and 2 during our most recent break up. I took her word for it but now I'm thinking why would you mention "Liverpool random" at the start saying it was a kiss to your friend? Now I kinda know why if she is lying, because we've been of and on for 5 years and I've slept around in those years. I told her everything about me in our last break up due to the fact I thought It was the last time we'd be together. Should I mention it again to her for some clarity and how? Edited March 16, 2019 by Shivzo Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Given all the lying and cheating you've done in the past, I'd let it go. You're hardly in the position to take the moral high ground. The caveat would be if this this lad could be the father of her baby 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shivzo Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 I haven't cheated on her sexually before, only that one time when I kissed someone in December there. Still cheating I know, I told her straight away the next day as she had work in the early hours of morning. But I am accountable to my lies saying I've haven't slept with people whenever she told me yesterday that it was only 5 people over the years including me. But it was a list of 8 names. Yes I didn't tell her in the past because I didn't want to hurt her but I'm a new honest guy now im trying to be honest as possible with her and it seems like shes still hiding things from me. All I want is to forgive myself, I've been feeling guilty for my actions from the past years. Hearing the truth can hurt but for me it would help heal my guilt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shivzo Posted March 16, 2019 Author Share Posted March 16, 2019 The caveat would be if this this lad could be the father of her The baby is definitely mine, dates add up she said shes only has used protection in December with the 2 people she slept with then Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 I'm confused, you said "I have lied to her in the past about during our break ups how many people I've slept with". Your wording is unclear but it sounds like you slept with people on breaks and lied to her about it. Is this what she's done to you too? Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 Now I kinda know why if she is lying, because we've been of and on for 5 years and I've slept around in those years. And then there is this. Not sure what you are asking OP. Seems to me this is a train wreck of a relationship. And as the other poster said, be very careful if you attempt to take the high ground, because it seems kind of unstable... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Neither of you have been straight with each other. But even if she is lying you have to get past that. You two have a child to raise so you have to learn to cooperate even if you don't reconcile. It's no longer about you. That baby has to come 1st. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 16, 2019 Share Posted March 16, 2019 This is not a relationship and, whatever it is, is dripping with immaturity, poor conflict resolution skills, and selfishness and no earned trust by either of you. That child is going to be growing up in an unstable and unhealthy environment if the two of you don't get a grip and get focused on what should be the #1 priority for both of you now -- the baby. Nothing and no one comes before the baby. Figure out a way to come together and be parents. You don't have to live together, but you both better have the means to support and provide everything for the baby or else put it up for adoption. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts