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How to approach this


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Hello guys & gals. Looking for a bit of outside opinion.

 

Known a chap for over a year. He's interesting, a bit of a tease, considerate and though not as important not too shabby looking either. Am a good judge of character but a few people have 'warned' me about him (fyi I don't quite trust those saying anything). So at first just wanted to know what made him 'tick' but gotten to like him. Being British I enjoy bantering which is our typical conversation mostly in fun with occasional sexual undertone. And a couple days was having a typical go at bantering when he said a cheekier quip. Tired & hot my response was more freudian slip than anything; as subtle as an elephant in a tea shop and the atmosphere changed instantly.

 

Now he didn't get mad, nor tell me off, and in retrospect I think I'd have preferred him getting mad or telling me off. It may have been embarrassing and/or a let down but such would have been easier to understand and respond to than his actual response and how he said it. He caught me off guard by being open that my response at the time was dismal and weak. Worse he's gone off for a few days so couldn't say anything the next day. Am I interested in him, yes there's potential. Am not sure if the next time see him he'll pretend nothing happened or be awkward but want to broach what he said. That's what I'm puzzling, how to approach this without sticking my foot in my mouth.

Edited by ScotsGal
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Welcome to LS! Former citizen of London here. I'm a big fan of Kevin Bridges though if you are Scottish hehe.

 

I think he's probably not that subtle with his romantic social skills just like myself. I would date him several times to see if he can keep up the quality bantering that you like. It's likely that he's getting comfortable with you.

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Nothing wrong with Bridges he's okay... though though in 30s I'm a John Cleese & Monty Python type of lass.

 

And thanks. He is awkward, a bit of foot in mouth at times, but I think he's at ease. He's got no problem bantering.

 

It's more what he said was to me quite personal, what you'd expect among pals really, and that's what caught me off guard. I think he wanted me to 'step up' and missed it by a mile.

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Are you really agonizing over one fluffed line in a conversation? ScotsGal, if he's as you describe, you'll need a tougher hide. I doubt the moment is top of mind with him, shouldn't be with you either...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Oh goodness, if I had a pound for everytime I put my foot in my mouth... ;)

 

I would carry on as I find nothing happened. If he says anything, you acknowledge that it was awkward and continue on. My boyfriend and I have a laugh, “that sounded better in my head, lol...” and all is forgiven. Depending on exactly what was said, I can’t see why it can’t be the same for you...

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ScotsGal,

 

Your post is so cryptic -- or rather, how you communicated this problem is so cryptic -- but, that rather seems to be part of the problem.(?)

Have you also had meaningful conversations with this fella? If it just stays all superficial banter and quips traded, it's hardly going to be able to become substantial.

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Are you really agonizing over one fluffed line in a conversation? ScotsGal, if he's as you describe, you'll need a tougher hide. I doubt the moment is top of mind with him, shouldn't be with you either...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Oh I've a plenty tougher hide, luv, I'm Scottish after all. Eat sarcasm for breakfast which is why the chap caught my eye as around here the average person wouldn't know real sarcasm if I smacked them in the face with a shovelful if it.

 

And no given his personality I doubt it's out of his mind.

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ScotsGal,

 

Your post is so cryptic -- or rather, how you communicated this problem is so cryptic -- but, that rather seems to be part of the problem.(?)

Have you also had meaningful conversations with this fella? If it just stays all superficial banter and quips traded, it's hardly going to be able to become substantial.

 

Apologies. I tried to convey enough without giving too much, possibly didn't give enough.

 

But yes had had meaningful conversations

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