Jrez Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 been noticing my girlfriend different reactions when I watch drama shows or movies with her. For example when we are watching Maury show, when it’s the guy cheating on the girl in the show she says the guy is a dog and wrong for doing that to her. However when it’s a girl cheating on a guy on the show it’s all funny and entertaining to her. Same with Lifetime movies and any other tv show or movie that deals with cheating. Same with movies when it comes to sex scenes of cheating too. It’s funny and entertaining to her when it’s women doing it. When it’s the men in the sex scene cheating she has a shocked face and shakes her head Some months ago I did bring this up to her and we had a small argument about it. She said she doesn’t find cheating funny either way. She said she don’t find men getting cheating on funny and find it wrong either way. She said we can stop watching Maury, Jerry Springer, Lifetime channel and those other shows and movies with people getting cheated on to avoid a argument. We stopped watching them for a little while, maybe a month but then we wind up start watching them again. Sometimes she will turn the channel now if it’s the woman cheating but she still back to laughing and finding it entertaining when the woman cheating I’m starting to wonder does she condone cheating or would she cheat on me because of her reactions to these tv shows and movies. Am I overreacting or no? Been together for 3 years Link to post Share on other sites
SunnySide0418 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Is this a serious post? How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jrez Posted March 18, 2019 Author Share Posted March 18, 2019 Is this a serious post? How old are you? It’s a serious post about my girlfriend having a double standard Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 For example when we are watching Maury show, when it’s the guy cheating on the girl in the show she says the guy is a dog and wrong for doing that to her. You're the first person I've ever met willing to admit on the record to watching this show. I'd be very hesitant to base any conclusions on one's reactions to the characters involved... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 I’ve always thought of Lifetime as the man-hater channel. These are about the cheesiest shows a person could watch. Let me guess, she watches the Kardashian’s, too, right? I think I’d be just as concerned about her lack of taste and need for drama. I’d say that, yes, her reaction to those shows appears to be a double standard but I’m not sure about the context of the shows. Lifetime is known for making the male look bad so she’s probably just buying into that projection. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 OP don't feel bad about how you feel and your reaction If I were in your shoes I probably would feel and question the same thing like "wtf" It's something to pay attention to. I would keep my eyes open and evalauate the relationship. I wouldn't talk about it again because y'all already did that. But I would observe how she treats you. Now I don't think this is a good and reliable sign that she will cheat. So I wouldn't start getting paranoid. I do think that maybe she subconsciously identifies with women being done wrong by men (maybe past hurts) and maybe seeing a woman having a little bit of victory (perceived victory) by giving "men a taste of their own medicine" so to speak. I tend to have a visceral reaction to both men and women being cheated on or disrespected or abused in relationships but I have to admit when it's a woman my reaction is even stronger. I notice the same reaction from past boyfriends when it's a man being done wrong. So I think it's normal and human to identify when the same sex gender is the victim. But if your gut senses extreme man-hating reactions I would not ignore that. just make sure there are no underlying resentments creeping into how she treats and respects you. Does she talk to you lovingly and respectful? Do y'all get along for the most part? I wouldn't worry about doing anything about your observations until you see that she is treating you in a way that's not okay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 been noticing my girlfriend different reactions when I watch drama shows or movies with her. For example when we are watching Maury show, when it’s the guy cheating on the girl in the show she says the guy is a dog and wrong for doing that to her. However when it’s a girl cheating on a guy on the show it’s all funny and entertaining to her. Same with Lifetime movies and any other tv show or movie that deals with cheating. Same with movies when it comes to sex scenes of cheating too. It’s funny and entertaining to her when it’s women doing it. When it’s the men in the sex scene cheating she has a shocked face and shakes her head Some months ago I did bring this up to her and we had a small argument about it. She said she doesn’t find cheating funny either way. She said she don’t find men getting cheating on funny and find it wrong either way. She said we can stop watching Maury, Jerry Springer, Lifetime channel and those other shows and movies with people getting cheated on to avoid a argument. We stopped watching them for a little while, maybe a month but then we wind up start watching them again. Sometimes she will turn the channel now if it’s the woman cheating but she still back to laughing and finding it entertaining when the woman cheating I’m starting to wonder does she condone cheating or would she cheat on me because of her reactions to these tv shows and movies. Am I overreacting or no? Been together for 3 years She has what are called double standards. It's like, for example, if you were to emit gas from your rear end she would get all indignant and go on and on about the horrible, rank disgusting stink. Then when she emits gas she would remark on how like the delicious aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls it is and try wafting some into your face. Her behaviour will get real old real fast and possibly lead to her being an unreliable partner. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Funny , but l don't think it matters how old he is he may have something. Because the way you both respond or act about all kinds of stuff is just the everyday part of learning who someone really is and what they're really about. l'm 50s but even l've been a bit concerned about my gf's responses to a few things in dumb tv shows. Yaknow , yeah it's only some silly tv show that just comes out of some writers head but that doesn't matter. A persons comment or reaction to something could well represent the same view in RL , especially if you start noticing a pattern. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 You're the first person I've ever met willing to admit on the record to watching this show. I'd be very hesitant to base any conclusions on one's reactions to the characters involved... Mr. Lucky Exactly. My first thought was, “Why are you watching Maury?” Like that’s a microcosm of society... not. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 (edited) Im not going to judge what your gf watches...because i watch what others might call crap myself sometimes.....i have a love of the waltons.....little house on the prairie...happy days.....and i watch married at first sight even though i am close to boycotting because it upsets me to watch it with affairs and wife swapping happening.... because it aint like the waltons....and people might think im a dork for loving the shows i love...but im cool i tell ya...so chill....smillin...ok ...im not cool im a dag....but i also love action and horror movies....never ever had a desire to eat human liver because i watched hannibal and enjoyed the movie ..i hav enever wanted to wear a hockey mask and cut up some teenagers even though i enjoyed that particular movie...........i do actually love liver though...but it must be lamb and i tried to play hockey at school.... i honestly think that a tv show shouldnt be the pre-requisite for choosing to be with someone or decide on whether somebody might be a cheat or not.....how you determine that if a person might cheat is on their core values and beliefs......knowing them well enough to be able to trust them with your whole self and physical and emotional intimacy......it's good if you like some of the same shows because all it means is you can enjoy them together...but it isnt necessary...if a guy liked a car show...i would not....just because he did..i might ask him how he enjoyed his show...but it wouldnt interest me to watch it..... even the most steadfast resolute soul......will have temptation through a relationship...their beliefs their core values and their faith in their relationship and love for the one they are with is what will keep them...faith full...or stop them even from starting to deceive.... its not what tv show a person watches or doesn't watch or laughs at or doesnt laugh at.....that determines their hearts core have a serious discussion if you havent already which you should have honestly, and with total openness and truthfulness.... on values and morals..and if the show upsets your relationship i would suggest that you both dont watch it together and find a show you can actually enjoy together that doesn't have you questioning her future motives.........says me...who watches crap....and i wish you well...deb Edited March 18, 2019 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Seriously? This is a petty and immature way to analyze and evaluate a relationship partner. The two of you might want to consider giving up TV and maybe like -- read some books -- so you have more credible and deeper things to talk about and/or apply to the relationship. If you can't even watch TV together, I'd be worried about how you will work together on life's real problems, etc. Unless you have a more credible and substantial reason not to trust her, you need to leave this alone. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 l was thinking about this and now just reading what deb said , you see the deception she was talking about made her sick, And that's what you'd expect and that'd just reflect her real views and core. And that's basically what l was saying whether it be some dumb tv show or something out in the real world, irrelevant. But if their reactions continually "don't: reflect in all kinds of things in what they claim to hold dear then actions really do mean a lot more than any words. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 It may be trash TV or only a movie, but the situations represented ie cheating happen in real life, so why would her reactions to it be dismissed as being unrepresentative of her true feelings. As she is consistent I guess she does hate men cheating on women and does think it is funny when women cheat on men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 Her reactions do evidence a double standard but she told you that she doesn't find cheating funny either way. If you don't trust her enough to take her at her word, your relationship doesn't have much of a foundation. No I do not think that because she watches these shows she will cheat on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 18, 2019 Share Posted March 18, 2019 It may be trash TV or only a movie, but the situations represented ie cheating happen in real life, so why would her reactions to it be dismissed as being unrepresentative of her true feelings. My wife is addicted to Game of Thrones, can hardly wait until the next season. However, I don't think I'm in any imminent danger of being poisoned, decapitated or disemboweled. It's a TV program... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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