elaine567 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 If you want to hear it, and since this is such a struggle for him, you might want to say it on occasion, so as to make it easy for him to say, "I love you too." She has already said it, to a deafening silence from him. I doubt she wants to put herself through that humiliation again anytime soon... He is a grown man, he is 38 not 18. He is well aware of his feelings. He chose not to reply with "I love you too", which would have been easy. Assuming he is "madly in love", but is too shy to say it, is probably a big mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 I doubt she wants to put herself through that humiliation again anytime soon ... He chose not to reply with "I love you too" Having and expressing feelings for someone is nothing to be ashamed of. Love is not something which is conditional upon receiving something in return, such as spoken words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElKay Posted March 26, 2019 Author Share Posted March 26, 2019 I only said it once to someone before this and the non-reply from my ex was actually very hurtful to me. This time, even if I was slightly sad that he didn't answer back, the way he reacted was reassuring. Even now, he hasn't become any less cuddly or loving. I don't feel bad that he isn't at the love stage since it took me a long time to get there too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 This is one of my favorite threads, as the topic is very relevant to me at this time of my life. ElKay, out of curiosity, what was the setting in which you said those words? To me, the more intimate the setting, the more relevant the words become. Not long after we were holding each other and kissing, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Like you, I wanted to hear that response, but it never came. I'll share something else which is personal as well, which are two songs showing different viewpoints, and are favorites of my sweetheart and I. The important portions of the lyrics will be shown below as well. I like the way that Donna Lewis is so passionate about wanting to hear those words. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars "Those three words Are said too much" Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever "Say you'll love, love me forever Never stop, never whatever" Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 I think I love you shouldn't be said for the first time in the middle of sex. I just think it means a lot more in the cold light of day. Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 I think I love you shouldn't be said for the first time in the middle of sex. I just think it means a lot more in the cold light of day. Hi preraph, if it were said to you for the first time, in what setting would you want it said? In the cold light of day could mean a lot of things. For example, while sitting together watching a sunset, or while waiting in line in a grocery store. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElKay Posted April 6, 2019 Author Share Posted April 6, 2019 (edited) Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars "Those three words Are said too much" Donna Lewis - I Love You Always Forever "Say you'll love, love me forever Never stop, never whatever" Thank you for sharing those songs! One that I hold close to my heart is "How does a moment last forever" by Celine Dion for the Beauty and the Beast remake. It represents my thoughts and feelings on love quite a bit. When I said it, we were cuddling on the couch and chatting about life. At this point, I don't really mind when he would say that word back to me. I feel like any moment spent with him is amazing... Edited April 6, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shydad Posted April 22, 2019 Share Posted April 22, 2019 Hi ElKay, and other readers. I have some exciting news to report. It happened last night! This is after seven months. We were cuddling in her bed, but just that and nothing else, and talking, with the lights off. I didn't respond because I thought I must have misheard. After a long pause she asked about me not being more excited, and then I knew, and explained the pause. Then I got all emotional. ElKay, please don't forget to come back and let us know once your guy speaks up. I will definitely want to hear about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElKay Posted April 23, 2019 Author Share Posted April 23, 2019 (edited) Hi Shydad! Great to hear! That's so sweet! I'll definitely let you know (hopefully one day!). For now, I'm enjoying the ride and enjoying our good times together... Edited May 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Youngestdaughter Posted April 27, 2019 Share Posted April 27, 2019 (edited) Ordinarily, I would say there's no such thing as too soon or too late. It happens when it happens. But it's been long enough that you shouldn't waste any more of your time without knowing how he feels. When he lists your virtues-something we all love to hear- I would say, "Okay, thank you. But that's what you think of me. How do you FEEL about me? Also, are y'all exclusive? Because he doesn't deserve to expect your fidelity without at least an emotional commitment. It will be difficult because of how you feel about him. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be. And I personally would break off a one sided relationship. Maybe with you not around, he'll realize that he does love you. Or not and you can begin to heal and find someone who does. Maybe he has issues with the word for a reason. If so, you deserve to know what they are. Regardless, way, you need to have a serious and admittedly potentially painful conversation. But the longer you wait, the harder it will be. And remember this, you said it first with no expectation of hearing it back. That tells me you have a warm, open heart and a giving nature without expectation of return. And you're not too proud to put yourself out there-or frightened. You're willing to take the leap. These are rare and wonderful qualities. Don't throw them away on someone who doesn't return your feelings. Good luck. And remember, we all get what we're willing to take. Don't settle for less than tou deserve! Edited May 1, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted April 28, 2019 Share Posted April 28, 2019 The 'L' word is important, but when it's said isn't. I said it to my girlfriend after 7 months, she didn't reciprocate. We've been together for 1 year, she still hasn't said it. Our relationship is hanging on by a thread. I feel that I now need a lot longer than 7 months to know if I really love someone. In all of my relationship experience, true colors weren't shown until a year, or in the case of my ex wife, sometimes multiple years into the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ElKay Posted May 1, 2019 Author Share Posted May 1, 2019 We're exclusive and have been from 2 months into it. We did talk about it and he doesn't love me yet. I know it's a huge risk to continue to see if deeper feelings appear, but I'm really not too worried. Finding out made me pull back emotionally, so I'm not attaching myself deeper at this point at least. He's been used to dating people he's known for years before, so it may take more time for him. Heck, it made me wonder if my feelings are as deep either, especially since this is my first real long term relationship. xD Link to post Share on other sites
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