Author canadianheart Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 (edited) The part I don't understand is that it ended very well. Sad, some tears, but we both agreed we only hold each other in very high regard, however, at the end of the day we were going to want different things. We are both very different people. Though neither of us want to formally marry in life, he isn't sure he ever sees being able to even co-habitate. I want to grow with someone and he knows it hurts me that he might not be able to do that in even a few years time. He is very introverted, and outside of work barely leaves his home. I am quite social and would like a partner to attend things with. I think we both thought we would be able to meet in the middle with things, but I was wanting to spend more than 2 nights a week together, and he has a hard time leaving the couch and leaving his dog at home. He has two friends in the city we live in, a married couple with a 6 month old baby. He sees them once a month or so. We are currently both Project Managers at different companies, but I can see myself leaving the corporate world eventually for non profit work internationally. Prior to me, he has only had 2 relationships, both long distance, that he ended when a person wanted to move to the same city. He is 31 years old and had a hard time committing to buying a home until recently because he really thinks through each decision, to the point he holds himself back. As someone who cares about him greatly, its hard to see his potential and know he has some issues that hold him back from growing. Though I feel like I lost my right arm, I have to respect that these things cause him so much anxiety and us getting closer feels like the walls are closing in for him. He told me he knew I loved him so much I would give up my dreams for him, and that he knew eventually we would both be unhappy because of it. I think he may be right, but it is still very sad for me right now and I miss him being my best friend. At the end of the day, I have to remember to be true to myself and that I stopped growing during our relationship and need to keep it going. Every morning he is my first thought, and every night he is my last. His sister is my close friend, and he has even refrained from answering her questions about the keys. I have some of his things that he doesn't seem to want at this moment either. Though he unfollowed me on social media, he left me following him, instead of outright blocking me. Any time one of my friends post something I'm in, he does the same thing. On a recent trip I was on, I could see that he had looked at all of my posts. He also told his sister, he knew he would not be able to handle dating for a very long time...maybe a few years. Edited March 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 Once again I misread initial post. thought it not ended not on good terms. my bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 He is very introverted, and outside of work barely leaves his home..he has a hard time leaving the couch and leaving his dog at home. You know where to find him. Go ring his doorbell and ask for your keys back. That was easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 I think you said you've already ponied up the money to change the locks and that's the ONLY way because yes, he's already had a chance to make copies of your keys, so you can't assume he didn't at all. Forget about your stuff and just end it now, block him. Write him off. Sorry it went badly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
crispytoast Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 Everyone has more or less said what I would say. All that's left is whoa, $400 to rekey the lock. All you needed was a new door handle a screwdriver and a few copies for your landlord.... Which is like $100 at most. Shame on your landlord for taking advantage of your predicament to come up on you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 How's that supposed to work exactly? Next time she's in a serious relationship with a guy who stays over a lot, and with whom she sees a potential future, she should say "Sorry I don't trust any guys after what happened last time so no key for you?" If losing the ability to trust a significant other in a relationship because of prior bad experiences is "learning" then I for one don't want to go back to school. Yep, this was a learning experience, $400 dollar plus heartache. The sharing of keys should be withheld for much longer than OP expected...not a thing wrong with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 The sharing of keys should be withheld for much longer than OP expected How do you know the Ops key sharing withholding wasn't long enough? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 ^ Because turns out he was a tool and wouldn't return her stuff and keys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 ^ Because turns out he was a tool and wouldn't return her stuff and keys. Yep, ten characters. Glad that you have this resolved OP. Better days to come. Link to post Share on other sites
Normm Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 ^ Because turns out he was a tool and wouldn't return her stuff and keys. That can happen after a 10 month or 10 year relationship. It's about the person not the tenure. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted March 7, 2019 Share Posted March 7, 2019 Regarding the original OP, it's about the keys/locks and the disregard for leaving the keys on the counter when leaving or returning calls regarding...the keys. The lesson has already been taught through ignored calls and cost $. How does a person know? My guess is the OP has had reservations about this guy (hence the key ceremony) for a time but threw caution to the wind in hopes of what people in love hope for against their better judgement. Love is not bound with keys, lol, especially in a secured building where others are effected. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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