what would YOU do in my shoes?

[ConfusedFool]

Hey Guys I Really Need Some Input On This Situation Plz Help

DM and I have been dating For The Past 3 Years....

We Met In College And Immediately Clicked (he's 25 And I'm 23)...we Lived Together For A Year Or So Until Our Graduation. Our Time Together Was Perfect, We Couldnt Get Enough Of Each Other And Spent Every Waking Moment Together. We Talked Abo0ut Marriage All The Time.....about The Best Age To Get Married..where We Would Live, Talked About How Many Kids We Wanted..everything!!! And Heeee Was Always The One To Bring It Up. Tell Ya The Truth The Idea Kinda Freaked Me Out, But I Answered Honestly And Gradually Grew To Love The Idea And Really Looked Forward To The Day When He Would Propose. Ok, So We Graduated - He Gets A Job In New York And I Move Back Home- To Central America. We Were Committed To Each Other And Wanted To Eventually Get Married So We Stuck To Our Guns And Worked On A Long Distance Relationship. He Havent Met Each Others Families Yet And When We Had A Trip Planned For Him To Come See Me...after Weeeks Of Planning And Organizing...he Backs Out....the Day Before He Was Supposed To Arrive. Then My Sisters Wedding Came Up..and The Same Thing Happened. Hes A Workaholic..and Always Has Been..a Perfectionist Even At School.....busted His A*s To Get Magna Cumn Laude. We Fiiiiiiinnaly See Each Other For My Birthday This Year...after An Entire Year Of Keepiing The Relationship Going Just By Phone And Msn. He Buys My Ticket To Meet Him In Miami Where We Spend The Most Perfect Week Together...at The 4 Seasons Hotel No Less. So, Coming Back Home It Really Hits Me. God What R We Doing?? WHO KNOWS WHEN I'LL SEE HIM AGAIN..ANOTHER YEAR??? He Has A Great Job, Mine's Decent, We Love Each Other....i Want To Get Married!!!! So I Bring It Up...maybe 3x. He Avoids Me Like The Plague For About 2 Weeks, And I Confront Him. He Admits The Idea Of Marriage...now...or Anytime Before Hes 32 Or 33 Scares Him To Death. Says Hes Not Ready To Give Me What I Want And Need. He Says Even Age 33 Might Be Too Soon. Ahhhhhhhhhh Im Soo Confused? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY THAT WAANTED TO GET MARRIED AND SHARE A LIFE WITH ME?? WHERED OUR ROLES SWITCH?? Does He Not Love Me Anymore? We Had This Conversation Last Night...and I Said Well If Thats How U Really Feel..then Theres No Point To Us Dating Now Is There? AND HE AGREED. Long Distance Relationship For 8 More Years?? Ha Not Happening...hes Not Willing To Move Anywhere...says NEW YORK Is The Only Place Where He Can Get The Experience He Needs. My Parents Are Old Fashioned And Dont Want Me Being The One To Sacrifice Everything By Moving Anywhere Near Him. Is There Hope For Us? LONG DISTANCE And All..and No Near Future Plans With Him? Geez Its Not LiKE I Want To Get Married Tomorrow, But In 2-3 Years. He Says Thats Waaaaaay Too Soon. What Am I Going To Do?

Is There Hope For Us?

Ohhhh He Was Engaged Back When He Was 20. HE PROPOSED BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF LOSING HER WHEN SHE WENT OFF TO SWITZERLAND FOR SCHOOL. THINGS WENT TO HELL, HE WENT THERE TO VISIT HER....AND THEY ENDED UP BREAKING IT OFF.

HE SAYS I MEAN MORE TO HIM THAN ANYONE EVER BEFORE....IF HE'S TEALLING THE TRUTH...THEN WHY WONT HE MARRY ME? AND HE WAS READY TO MARRY THIS OTHER GIRL YEARS AGO, WHEN HE HADNT EVEN STARTED COLLEGE???

PLEASE HELP

[kgal]

hmmm this is hard. I don't know what to say, really. I guess just listen to your heart. Do what you feel is best for you. Look out for yourself. .. I know you love him.. but you have to think about what is best for you in the long run... and your emotions. Good Luck!!

[michelangelo]

As a way to keep you banging him when you were at school.

 

Then when you want to get married, you are are in different countries?

 

You think that it is reasonable for a man in the prime of his profession to leave NYC? For central america? No offense, but that would be professional suicide.

 

If you really love this man you will hightail it to the big apple and show him that you choose him over pleasing your parents.

 

Seems like he'll be rich enough to fly 'em out for the wedding.

 

I believe his reticence to marry you is because you do not have any really good reason to not join him in NYC.

 

 

You have this vague idea that it is right for you to be with your family and not for him to take his huge academic accomplishment and cash in on it in NYC.

 

Telling a guy who has worked so hard busting his hump to make his mark in life that all that doesn't matter, only I matter, is hard to understand for a man.

 

Why? Because if he loves you as much a you think he does, he is doing it partly for you.

 

On the other hand, I could be completely wrong and he only tells you the stall story as I said before so he can bed you when it is convenient for him.

 

complicated, very complicated.