SmartDude Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 I was thinking today as I often do. Its a dangerous activity. My mind begin wondering and I started to question why people are so obsessed with relationships that last a long time? What is the actual benefit of being in a long term relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 If it's a good relationship it's a great thing to have one that lasts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Harcel Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 My longer relationships were the best. They teach you a lot about yourself. In my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 Security is part of it. And not having to search and start over rebuild from zero all the time. Not only relationships, also housing, job. Being in transition your whole life is not productive Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 There is a certain comfort and security to be found in a long term relationship. It’s like coming home... Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) People like the idea of loyalty and commitment. The idea that someone is by your side through thick and thin. Having that person by your side till death. Nothing wrong with that except my problem is how people like to talk about these long term relationships and marriages that are absolutely horrible if you knew what one or the other partner goes through Married for 50 years but someone cheated (sometimes multiple times), abusive, makes one do all the work (whether outside the house or inside the house) why one sits around, not involved in kids lives, love the kids but hate the partner, not having sex or no attraction, not even fit to be friends, not sleeping in the same bed, arguing all the time, one selfish and just sucking the life out of the other .....list goes on So many of these relationships are championed for longetivity but not compatibly or good treatment. It's one of my biggest pet peeves to hear from people. If your going to champion long term relationships then champion the ones where two people are happy and loving each other and treating each other right throughout. A lot of people use it as an argument against the decision/advice of breaking up or being single in general. F*ck. That. I would rather be in a happy relationship that lasts a lifetime over being single but I rather be single than be in a bad relationship that lasts a lifetime Edited March 23, 2019 by Curiousroxy86 4 Link to post Share on other sites
MetallicHue Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 I think it’s getting to know someone so well but learning everyday. That’s pretty cool in its own right. I guess being comfortable with someone knowing you don’t have to impress them day in and day out. If it’s a successful relationship it can get even better over time. That said I’m a firm believer that a relationship does not need to be long term to be successful. Do what makes you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 It's awesome because you can fart in front of them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 What is the actual benefit of being in a long term relationship? You have time to have a family, share a history and experience life together. What would be the advantage to ten 2-year relationships vs one 20-year one? Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) For a smart dude that's a pretty lame question. What would you rather some never ending roller coaster of dating dating dating. If your not doin it yourself just read around, doesn't sound like much fun at all to me, matter of fact never done it and never will. A relationship or marriage , if it's what it should be, nothing nicer, and the companionship and a life with someone so special , is a really really nice way to be and the better life for sure , to me anyway. You obviously haven't experienced that kind of feeling in life , it is cool , when it's cool. But if it's not so , then yeah , that's when it ain't so great. Edited March 23, 2019 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 (edited) Because it means they have some basic interpersonal skills and they don't sit around the dinner table checking their respective social media accounts or uploading selfies to Instagram or some website to show where they are and how fake their smiles are, instead of spending quality time together. Edited March 23, 2019 by Logo Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 I don't think there are enough people in the world who I would want to be with and who could tolerate being with me, to NOT angle for marriage with one of the few who can. Also, raising children and building a family/legacy isn't really a solo endeavor - or one that benefits from having a bunch of different people in and out of your life. While there are plenty of valid reasons to divorce even if you have children with someone, there's no good reason to be bringing people in and out of the kids' lives like a revolving door. Or to be pouring your time and energy into relationships and encounters with people who never meet your children and add nothing to their lives. I guess if you don't have children and don't want to have children, that's not an issue specifically - but I don't think it's particularly good for adults to be constantly starting over from square one either. I guess it depends on what you want and value in life. I can't think of any benefit specific to short-term relationships. I'd rather be single and celibate for the rest of my life than start from scratch with a new person every few years or less. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 23, 2019 Share Posted March 23, 2019 It's probably more about the fact that people value the life partner they have rather than the relationship itself. As MetallicHue says, that's pretty cool in itself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmartDude Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 You obviously haven't experienced that kind of feeling in life , it is cool , when it's cool. But if it's not so , then yeah , that's when it ain't so great. Well, I had one that lasted about 10 years. That was quite enough of that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SmartDude Posted March 23, 2019 Author Share Posted March 23, 2019 I guess if you don't have children and don't want to have children, that's not an issue specifically - but I don't think it's particularly good for adults to be constantly starting over from square one either. I guess it depends on what you want and value in life. I can't think of any benefit specific to short-term relationships. I'd rather be single and celibate for the rest of my life than start from scratch with a new person every few years or less. Yes, for people who do not have children, and never had any desire for them at all, it is very different. It is a different lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 That's a more interesting question than it seems at first. Most see a lasting relationship as a strong foundation to start a family, which ties in with our basic desire to reproduce and survive. As others have said, a family works better with the parents having a solid, lasting relationship rather than having people come and go. The way I see it is that there is something really special to have someone in your life who deeply cares about you and supports you, and you do the same in return. It also generally makes us happier to build a life with someone than to do so alone - of course there are exceptions to that rule. While I do see a long term relationship as highly desirable, I don't think it should be valued above the wellbeing of the people involved, because relationships can erode over time and it's pointless for two people to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, just for the sake of having a long term relationship. Relationships erode because compatibility wasn't considered properly in the beginning, or people just change over time and they are no longer compatible. Having a relationship last for a lifetime is something truly special, but it should never be forced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 It’s just sweet to see people who love that deeply and have dedicated their lives to being a good partner to someone or at least the best partner they can be. When you think of a lifetime and how much those two people have shared, how many ups and how many downs, together every step of the way...that should be celebrated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted March 24, 2019 Share Posted March 24, 2019 I've had quickie relationships and relationships that last. I prefer lasting relationships, even though casual sex is great fun. In a lasting relationship, you get loyalty and security. The world is a nasty place. And unless I die young, I'm going to get old someday. Having partners and kids to take care of me is a necessity. It is also the best way to have kids. Being a single parent is not ideal. If I didn't have partners to help me, having kids would be pretty much impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 As I get older, I can see that long-lasting doesn't automatically mean great. My longest relationship was probably my worst. My shortest, probably my best. Even so, I still like the idea of building with someone, growing together while we both grow as individuals. I don't think history should be a reason to stay in a relationship that's past its expiration date, but I do think following a pattern of having 1-3 year relationships one after the other can often only provide so much intimacy. Some people may only be meant to be part of our lives for a while, but starting fresh every 12 to 36 months seems unfulfilling and suitable for those who are only looking for general companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 What is the actual benefit of being in a long term relationship? SmartDude, what's your longest lasting relationship? There's a certain "don't know unless you've done it" aspect at work here. Though I will characterize the best part of a good long-term relationship as being the opposite of the confusion and uncertainty one can experience feeling your way through a new one... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 The value to any long term relationship - be it platonic or romantic - is knowing each other, trusting each other, and having a shared history. I have friendships for more than 20 years. It is nice to have people you can count on, that KNOW you (not just superficially) and care about you. And that you love, care about, value and know. Romatic relationships go even further than that and often can include building a family. I'd hate to not have long lasting relationships in my life. I would feel very alone and lonely in this world. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 Because they are better than ones that don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 25, 2019 Share Posted March 25, 2019 It just depends on your personal preference. I actually can't imagine personally why anyone would want to go from short term relationship to short term relationship, but clearly some people prefer it. I like the depths of love and trust that can only come from being together for a long enough time. IMO, a relationship only really gets good AFTER you've overcome the end of the honeymoon phase together, and survived. Knowing someone for who they truly are and still choosing them, and them you - that's powerful. The most powerful bond two humans can forge out of choice, in my opinion. Obviously, you feel differently, and I'm not going to try to change your mind. Just accept that not everyone thinks or feels or prioritizes the same way you do. Link to post Share on other sites
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