Juha Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 So one of my best friends, who I have not seen much of or talked to lately as she is in a relationship now invites me over her house Friday night for game night... I accept as we have not hung out in a couple of months. I now find out that it is going to be her, her bf, her roommate, her bf, me. I think I am going to cancel going as I really do not want to be involved with couples game night. I am single. Lately I have not been going when invited by friends to their house when I know it is going to be mostly/all couples. Not a place I want to be. I usually find other things to do alone or with single friends. How would you handle this situation? Would you still be going when invited to these mostly/all couple things? Thanks for your responses... Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Well I haven’t been single in ages... But I invite my friends out or over often. They are my friends if they are single or not. If they aren’t single - they are welcome to bring their significant other if they want. My husband and I have a circle of friends. About 50% are single, and of the ones in relationships, some spouses I see all the time, others hardly come out. I hope none of my single friends decline because they know there will be couples out. Link to post Share on other sites
bmh Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Some people are uncomfortable with it and honestly if you know that’s you, yea I wouldn’t go either. I don’t mind it at all and I always enjoy myself in their company. I have noticed too, that often the men will “buddy up” and the women as well. I never really felt like I was an outsider. Whether they did this for my benefit or not, I don’t know. Have you ever accepted an offer only to find you didn’t enjoy it? Or have you avoided it all together because you assume you won’t enjoy it? I can’t tell from your post. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 When I hang out with friends, the women and men seem to separate. So, it's not actually a couple situation. Are you sure it won't be like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I always enjoyed those situations. But I'm an extrovert. Ha! Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Hmm, yeah, hanging out with couples when you're a single person can be a downer, but it's only a games night, not like you're going to be the 5th person throwing the numbers out at the dining table. If they didn't want you there you wouldn't be invited, and it's important to maintain your friendship under the new circumstances. Would you want your friend to ditch you if you were the one with the new boyfriend? If you don't go out and mingle you'll always be single, and look at the bright side....you're being invited places and that means people like hanging out with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Is there any chance this is a set up, that she's trying to set you up with some guy? Being the 5th wheel is no fun. You can tell her you'd rather not or you can ask if you can bring another friend, even a same sex platonic friend, just so you can spend some time with the hostess but not be the 5th wheel. Give the early part of the evening to this game night but leave & go out afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I agree to just bring a buddy either male or female. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Is there any chance this is a set up, that she's trying to set you up with some guy? 1) Juha is a guy and I guess heterosexual. 2) There is apparently no other single person going to the games night. I would go, as now your friend is coupled up, then if you want to socialise with her then you need to go to these events, as the chances of one on one interaction with her will decrease. Depending on the friends, attending coupley events can be great fun, especially if you leave your "singleness" at the door and just go with the thought of having a good time with friendly people. Link to post Share on other sites
Wallysbears Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 When we do game nights, we always try to invite a few singles...not just one. Even numbers tend to work better for teams in games. Are you sure there aren't more singles invited? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 Sorry I got the genders mixed up. Your friend wants to spend time with you but she's trying to organize it in a way that shows her BF that you are no threat. Especially in the beginning of dating my husband I would often arrange things with my male buddies because my life is so much easier now that they are his friends too. Actually I'm often "jealous" in that my buddies have "ditched" me in favor of DH. lol Your friend may simply want you to spend more time with her & her BF. I doubt you are going to get much one on one time with her going forward. Go to the game night but do ask if you can bring a friend. Have a few laughs then bug out early to go do something more in line with being single. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juha Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Have you ever accepted an offer only to find you didn’t enjoy it? Or have you avoided it all together because you assume you won’t enjoy it? I can’t tell from your post. It is not I am uncomfortable, I do go many times when friends invite me. Have been to many things where it is mostly couples and some singles. Never had a problem with being around couples. Honestly lately I am frustrated and being around couples is annoying now. Tired of being around that. I have not been going to invites where I know it will be mostly couples. Instead I find something to do with singles or myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juha Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 When we do game nights, we always try to invite a few singles...not just one. Even numbers tend to work better for teams in games. Are you sure there aren't more singles invited? No on else invited, I asked her who is coming... Her, her bf, her roommate, roommates bf, me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juha Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Sorry I got the genders mixed up. Your friend wants to spend time with you but she's trying to organize it in a way that shows her BF that you are no threat. Especially in the beginning of dating my husband I would often arrange things with my male buddies because my life is so much easier now that they are his friends too. Actually I'm often "jealous" in that my buddies have "ditched" me in favor of DH. lol Your friend may simply want you to spend more time with her & her BF. I doubt you are going to get much one on one time with her going forward. Go to the game night but do ask if you can bring a friend. Have a few laughs then bug out early to go do something more in line with being single. I have hung out with the bf, we get along, he understands I am not a threat. I planned on going and then leaving in a couple of hours to do something else/meet other people. Then thought about just going out with other people and not going to the 5th wheel game night. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juha Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 Thanks for all the responses... Don't get me wrong I love spending time with my friends. I really did not mind or have it bother me about being around mostly/all couples. This is a recent thing where I do not want to anymore. Stopped enjoying it. I do not have a lot of time to go out and do things so I have been of the mind set lately that if there are not any available singles I may be interested in it is not worth my time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 27, 2019 Share Posted March 27, 2019 I really did not mind or have it bother me about being around mostly/all couples. This is a recent thing where I do not want to anymore. Stopped enjoying it. Be straight with her about your changed preferences & not wanting to be the 5th wheel. A good friend will understand. Still showing up & giving her some time before going out to do something you consider to be more fun sounds like the best option here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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