Best way to get over a longtime crush?

[Brian R]

Basically i’ve Known this girl for 3 years. I thought that she’d be a good friend as she was helpful and seemed fun to hang around. I wasn’t feeling anything until earlier this year. Since then we haven’t talked, almost at all. I wanna be with her, and it’d be kinda hard to let go, but I feel like when I look into the future this wouldn’t work out. I’m moving schools soon anyways so I don’t know why i’d Want to be with someone who i’ve Barely talked to. She has shown interest but it’s faded away. Either way I do not wanna ask her out. I’m not afraid. I just feel like it’s best to get over this. I’ll feel relaxed after it.

Anyways, getting to the point, what do you think would be the best to get over a longtime crush? Usually it’s easy, but you know.

If you know a method respectfully comment down below. I hope that you’re all doing well. I’m gonna deny any answer telling me to ask her out.

[Brian R]

That is, three years, my bad.

[smackie9]

Stop thinking about them.

[mark clemson]

My take would be that continuing to be around her keeps triggering your romantic attachment to her. So it hasn't faded, even though there's really no relationship. This is actually quite common. Agree with you that 3 years is definitely a long time to be dealing with this and it's high time to move on.

 

Think the best thing to do is:

 

1) Firmly decide in your own mind to be over her

2) Try to avoid her as much as possible (including thinking about her or things that remind you of her)

3) Find interest and occupy your mind with other things, including exercise and social activitities and

4) In particular, find interest in other women

 

Sometimes it's quite hard to get over someone until any chance of a relationship is completely gone. If nothing else works, the move to the new school should put the final nail in the coffin of this thing.

[Brian R]

My take would be that continuing to be around her keeps triggering your romantic attachment to her. So it hasn't faded, even though there's really no relationship. This is actually quite common. Agree with you that 3 years is definitely a long time to be dealing with this and it's high time to move on.

 

Think the best thing to do is:

 

1) Firmly decide in your own mind to be over her

2) Try to avoid her as much as possible (including thinking about her or things that remind you of her)

3) Find interest and occupy your mind with other things, including exercise and social activitities and

4) In particular, find interest in other women

 

Sometimes it's quite hard to get over someone until any chance of a relationship is completely gone. If nothing else works, the move to the new school should put the final nail in the coffin of this thing.

Thanks a lot. It’s gonna be hard moving on, I haven’t even asked her out yet. But you know. This happens to everybody at some point. I’m not gonna spend the next couple of months worrying over something that won’t happen. Definitely like you said, being distracted would help. I’ll also ignore her when she wants my attention, that way she know that I don’t want any of this. Thanks again!

[d0nnivain]

I really don't get it. You made it clear that you don't want to ask her out but I don't why you won't.

 

You said you two are friends & she's cool to hang out with. Then you said earlier this year (so less than 90 days ago) you started feeling something for this friend of 3 years. Once you realized that you were feeling something, you say you haven't talked. Why is that? You think her interest faded but you still want to be with her. Then you make excuses that it wouldn't work out & you are changing schools.

 

If you want to be with her, ask her out. It makes no sense to me that you didn't try to transition this when you 1st noticed the spark.

 

You claim you are not afraid but you spent a great deal of energy talking yourself out of having to take the risk to ask her out.

 

I'm also not clear about you saying that there's no reason to go out with somebody you barely talk to. You have been friends for 3 years. What has changed recently? Did you talk over those 3 years? If not, how did you maintain the friendship?

 

If you don't want to ask her out, then just tell yourself you are friends only & focus your attention elsewhere.

 

Overall I don't think you are being true to yourself.

[kendahke]

You have to decide if you're cool just orbiting her until you leave for school.

 

I wouldn't get into anything with anyone knowing I was leaving town. I mean, what's the point? Just because she's nice? You need more than that to go on.

[Clockwork]

Yeah man, ask her out! What is the worst that can happen? She says no. Honestly, that is literally the worst that can and will happen. Then move on and go out with other girls. You'll get over her. But it will kill you for the rest of your life if you don't know what would have happened if you had just asked her out. I did that with my wife. I hadn't known her for very long but I made a conscious decision to hit on her one night and, voila, together ever since.

[healing light]

Yeah, sorry, blatantly ignoring what you asked here.

 

I also don't know why you don't ask her out. If she says no, you're leaving soon, so who cares? If she says yes, maybe something good could come from it.

 

I am not really someone who likes to leave things up to "what if," particularly since I rarely find myself romantically interested in someone else. If it's been three years and you really like her to the point of asking for advice on how to move on, then I think you have nothing to lose by just making a move.

 

What if you go on a couple of dates with her and then realize you don't fancy her that way? Boom, now you can move on. If she says no, then you don't have to torture yourself wondering if things could have been different... and guess what? You'll have an easier time moving on, haha.

[Brian R]

Yeah man, ask her out! What is the worst that can happen? She says no. Honestly, that is literally the worst that can and will happen. Then move on and go out with other girls. You'll get over her. But it will kill you for the rest of your life if you don't know what would have happened if you had just asked her out. I did that with my wife. I hadn't known her for very long but I made a conscious decision to hit on her one night and, voila, together ever since.

Thanks for the advice.

[Brian R]

Yeah, sorry, blatantly ignoring what you asked here.

 

I also don't know why you don't ask her out. If she says no, you're leaving soon, so who cares? If she says yes, maybe something good could come from it.

 

I am not really someone who likes to leave things up to "what if," particularly since I rarely find myself romantically interested in someone else. If it's been three years and you really like her to the point of asking for advice on how to move on, then I think you have nothing to lose by just making a move.

 

What if you go on a couple of dates with her and then realize you don't fancy her that way? Boom, now you can move on. If she says no, then you don't have to torture yourself wondering if things could have been different... and guess what? You'll have an easier time moving on, haha.

Thanks for the advice aswell.

[Brian R]

You have to decide if you're cool just orbiting her until you leave for school.

 

I wouldn't get into anything with anyone knowing I was leaving town. I mean, what's the point? Just because she's nice? You need more than that to go on.

What i’m Thinking right now. Thanks

[Brian R]

I really don't get it. You made it clear that you don't want to ask her out but I don't why you won't.

 

You said you two are friends & she's cool to hang out with. Then you said earlier this year (so less than 90 days ago) you started feeling something for this friend of 3 years. Once you realized that you were feeling something, you say you haven't talked. Why is that? You think her interest faded but you still want to be with her. Then you make excuses that it wouldn't work out & you are changing schools.

 

If you want to be with her, ask her out. It makes no sense to me that you didn't try to transition this when you 1st noticed the spark.

 

You claim you are not afraid but you spent a great deal of energy talking yourself out of having to take the risk to ask her out.

 

I'm also not clear about you saying that there's no reason to go out with somebody you barely talk to. You have been friends for 3 years. What has changed recently? Did you talk over those 3 years? If not, how did you maintain the friendship?

 

If you don't want to ask her out, then just tell yourself you are friends only & focus your attention elsewhere.

 

Overall I don't think you are being true to yourself.

Thanks for the advice. I guess that by time knowing that i’m Going to move my interest faded away, normally i’d Go and ask her which is good practice for the future as the users suggested. It is a good thing to do. However at this point I’m too late. She’s not paying any attention to me which is understandable. Also hanging out a lot with some other guys. Even if they’re friends, you know. Anyways, I think that it’s not worth asking her out as I myself am starting to lose interest. Obviously since I haven’t asked her. At this point I just wanna get over this until school ends. I could regret it in the future but at least I won’t have to worry about this anymore. When I think about it she’s not my type. And if we were to have a relationship even after I moved schools it wouldn’t last long, so i’m Gonna move on from this. Thanks for the advice everyone, hope you all enjot your day.

[Youngestdaughter]

Thing about long time crushes is people tend to progressively romanticize their crush to epic proportions. There's no time table. Have you let her know how you feel? If not, do. If she doesn't feel the same, separate yourself from her, date other women and when you do, think of the things you don't like about her. It'll hurt a little less every day.

[Brian R]

Thing about long time crushes is people tend to progressively romanticize their crush to epic proportions. There's no time table. Have you let her know how you feel? If not, do. If she doesn't feel the same, separate yourself from her, date other women and when you do, think of the things you don't like about her. It'll hurt a little less every day.

That’s true. Recently I’m barely seen her. Anyways i’m Always sitting in the back of the room as of today. Just last week she came to the back of the room. She opened some closet to get something but my leg was in the way. She didn’t say anything and she looked inside and quickly didn’t take anything. Then she waved her arm and said ‘****’ or something. Two days later she did it again. Honestly at this point i’m Finding her annoying. I don’t know what she wants. What do you think is going on?

[Marc878]

Could just be coincidence. Doesn't matter once you're gone it'll fade away quickly