Conclusion of "In Trouble"

[Chocolate]

Well, my boyfriend and I ended up getting back together quicker than I thought. To be honest I didn't think we would be back together at all. As I said before, I still have those times when I just want to be single. And now I realize that this feeling is over-powering the rest. I do love him, but I am really feeling the friend that I have. But he's not really an issue, it is more or less me being happy and satisfied. I feel like I have been committed most of my young adult life, and haven't really had time to have as much fun as I could have because I was always with my boyfriend. He tells me that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that might be OK when I am ready. But as of now, HELL NO!! He is a wonderful person, and will do anything for me, but now I am wondering if I am being selfish or is this natural. I don't want a good thing to pass me by, but, there may be other good things passing me by. We have been together for 5 years,and I am 20 and he is 24, if you didn't know already. I always keep my male friends regardless of what he says. But are these male friends new opportunities or just flaws that create problems in my relationship. HELP ME PLEASE!! I'd love to hear from you. OH Yeah, My bofriend is a crazy nut. He always talks about what he'll do to my friend if he found out I was ##### around........

[Ryan]

Well, my boyfriend and I ended up getting

back together quicker than I thought. To be honest I didn't think we would be back together at all. As I said before, I still have those times when I just want to be single. And now I realize that this feeling is over-powering the rest. I do love him, but I am really feeling the friend that I have. But he's not really an issue, it is more or less me being happy and satisfied. I feel like I have been committed most of my young adult life, and haven't really had time to have as much fun as I could have because I was always with my boyfriend. He tells me that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that might be OK when I am ready. But as of now, HELL NO!! He is a wonderful person, and will do anything for me, but now I am wondering if I am being selfish or is this natural. I don't want a good thing to pass me by, but, there may be other good things passing me by. We have been together for 5 years,and I am 20 and he is 24, if you didn't know already. I always keep my male friends regardless of what he says. But are these male friends new opportunities or just flaws that create problems in my relationship. HELP ME PLEASE!! I'd love to hear from you. OH Yeah, My bofriend is a crazy nut. He always talks about what he'll do to my friend if he found out I was ##### around........

All I needed to see here was "been together 5 years, I am 20 and he is 24."

 

That means you got together when you were *15* and he was *19*.

 

No 15 year old is prepared for a 5 year relationship, NONE. But, more importantly....NO 19 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE PREYING UPON A 15 YEAR OLD. PERIOD. It's just wrong. This relationship started totally improperly and lasted far longer than it ever should have. Take a good look at what kind of male would get into that situation. He hasn't changed. This has to end or it will bring you great trouble in life. Seriously think about what kind of person this guy REALLY is.

 

All of this may sound harsh, but I frown upon these things strongly. I've seen them happen far too often and it is never even close to healthy.

[Red Dorito]

I felt like I was looking back at my own life when I read this. When I was 15, I started dating this guy who I thought was the best thing ever. When I was 17, I moved in with him. When I was 20, after 5 years of emotional abuse (threats to male pals, controlling me, forcing me to devote myself only to him) and eventually physical abuse (I sport a lovely two-inch-square scar on my leg) I FINALLY got the balls to leave him permanently! It meant swallowing my pride, moving back in with my parents, and losing hundreds of dollars, but I am so much happier now. Three years later, I am halfway toward completing a University degree with Honours, I have been promoted to management at two different jobs, and I no longer suffer from stress headaches. I do have a new man who is head and shoulders better than the old one, and I am now more in tune to what's wrong with relationships. I'm not saying your relationship is Hell like mine was, but there are some similarities. Mine was sweet like sugar around other people, told me he wanted to marry me, bought me all kinds of s***ty cheap gifts, but he wanted to control me. Even if your man has the best of intentions, it may simply be that you're not ready for him, or he isn't the right one for you. Go be your badass independent self, and if he loves you like you say, he'll be there when you get back.

 

You were a girl when you met this guy. You're a woman now. Do you really think you're the same person you were then? Is he? Of course not! The years from 15-25 are the years during which you'll make more discoveries about yourself than ever. You need to give yourself a chance to become who you are, not who someone else wants you to be. Ask yourself, "Is this as good as it's going to get?" If you think it is, and it's not very damn good, then get out. Unless you're happy 85% of the time, you're better off alone. Love doesn't hurt. If you're confused, it means something's wrong. You have nothing to compare this relationship to. Give yourself that chance.

 

Good luck, I'd love to keep in touch and hear how things work out, or if I'm way off base.

 

Well, my boyfriend and I ended up getting back together quicker than I thought. To be honest I didn't think we would be back together at all. As I said before, I still have those times when I just want to be single. And now I realize that this feeling is over-powering the rest. I do love him, but I am really feeling the friend that I have. But he's not really an issue, it is more or less me being happy and satisfied. I feel like I have been committed most of my young adult life, and haven't really had time to have as much fun as I could have because I was always with my boyfriend. He tells me that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that might be OK when I am ready. But as of now, HELL NO!! He is a wonderful person, and will do anything for me, but now I am wondering if I am being selfish or is this natural. I don't want a good thing to pass me by, but, there may be other good things passing me by. We have been together for 5 years,and I am 20 and he is 24, if you didn't know already. I always keep my male friends regardless of what he says. But are these male friends new opportunities or just flaws that create problems in my relationship. HELP ME PLEASE!! I'd love to hear from you. OH Yeah, My bofriend is a crazy nut. He always talks about what he'll do to my friend if he found out I was ##### around........