ferret Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 So I'm in this real crappy situation and I am trying to find the best way to deal with it. My boyfriend had to move back home to another country. We were really happy, had an amazing relationship. We were only together for four months but we just clicked, had the same social circle, were together all the time. We were a team. So now I am stuck in this the bad middle space. We decided to break up becasue (as we all know) long distance relationships are almost impossible. We are both young (23 and 25) and have our own lives in our respective cities. As well it is really difficult to relocate to either country without the marriage thing (way off for both of us, at least I think). We still have very strong feelings for each other, phone about once a week, write letters and send pictures, its like even though we have broken up we are still holding on. We have been apart for a month now. My question is what do I do to make this as easy as possible. We do not live that far away from each other, about 1.5 hour flight or 19 hour drive. We both want to visit each other (money is a problem). I have tried dating others, but just feel crappy afterwards, like I cheated on him or something, and just depressed that it is not him. At the same time I do not want to pine over him like a pathetic ex-girlfriend, life is way too short for that. I just don't know what is the best thing to do in this situation - what is the least painful thing to do, how do I let go? Should I keep him in my heart for the future? Should I just concentrate on me and my friends. It comes down to this, I want to be with him but that is almost impossible, what is the second best thing to do??? Link to post Share on other sites
ferret Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 I read the other post about moving away and thought I should add a couple of things. He moved away for medical reasons, he had to go back to his own heath care system. I have a very active life, lots of friends who I love, a great job and love my program at university, I just need advice on the best way to deal with this. Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 2, 2001 Share Posted June 2, 2001 YOU ASK: "I want to be with him but that is almost impossible, what is the second best thing to do???" Forget him completely. Why prolong the agony and pain of your break up by continuing to write letters, make calls, exchange pictures, etc.? Perhaps in time you can re-establish a friendship but not right now. You need to go the healing process that all others go through after a break up. Sure, you can sit and hope to come into some money so you can fly to see him every weekend. Even that is not a quality relationship. It just isn't going to happen given the separation circumstances and the very tiny hope that will change. Your only choice is to shorten the hurt and pain by ceasing all contact, as hard as that will be, and beginning the process of healing and moving on with your life. This is probably the most difficult thing you will ever do. If I were you, I'd be really pissed at the situation and the fact he had to move back. I'd be really MAD!!! Write him one last farewell letter, have a big cry, then throw away all his letters, return all his pictures and let him know you are doing this out of love...for the both of you. Move on and be happy. There's simply no other choice here. And, whatever you do, don't sit around and wait for a possible visit from him. That would simply serve your life no good whatsoever. Furthermore, you'll spare yourself a lot of future heartbreak because, I promise you, when he has healed he will start seeing others in his own country. Why should you be sitting alone at home while he's doing that? Link to post Share on other sites
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