Have most successfull long marriages or relationships started off smooth?

[Springsummer]

I'd certainly felt sexual attraction to women before, but this was different. And it's part of the engine driving our relationship today, 30+ years later...

 

Gravity to the sun? seriously? after so many years? why you had to be with her? still the case?

 

I have been wondering what qualities some women possess that make them so attractive?

Edited May 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Springsummer]

I thought this forum is only for unhappy people. Judging from the replies, not the case at all. Surprise.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Fiery intense stuff is usually very hard to live with long term and many fiery intense people are a not really "stayers" anyway.

You do however get the couple where one is very "difficult" in some way and the other just absorbs all the "difficulty" and makes the union work, often at great cost to themselves.

 

Hard, but worth it.

 

I'd take a revolving, fiery, and intense relationship over a "well I don't feel all that intense about them, but they don't leave me" type of relationship any day.

 

Pretty sure that's called "settling".

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Not judging anything just curious.

But yep , sounds pretty easy but let me tell ya it ain't. Doesn't matter what's thrown at you as a couple through life, unfortunately there's just no way to tell if one will quit on it or not , vows or words even past actions mean nothing, until they just do.

 

I agree, but then, I don't think that was the point of it. Predicting when someone will quit vs not quit in a relationship isn't what it's about. That's basically simplifying it to "Are they gonna leave me?". You're right about that, you can't know. That's why you hope to find someone you can trust will make the same decision as you: they won't give up. That said, it's completely independent of the fiery, intensive stuff.

 

Everyone seems to have a negative view here about the relationships that start off with an explosion of immediate feelings as if they are guaranteed to not work or something. I'd like to point out that there are for more relationships that don't work due to many other factors than "I felt too intense about them and then the intense feeling subsided."

Edited May 21, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[chillii]

l don't l love fiery intense although l lived it and it didn't work, part of why l ask.

l've always wondered if we coulda shoulda.

My woman and l are kinda midway, we got a bit of both, which seems perfect. And call me weird but l love her temper too, just not crazy about mine

Edited May 22, 2019 by chillii

[chillii]

I thought this forum is only for unhappy people. Judging from the replies, not the case at all. Surprise.

 

 

 

 

Nah , l've noticed a lot around.

[chillii]

Congrats on 29 anyway ES.

And nah of course nothing means they're happy, no one knows what really goes on. And not to many couples are perfect for sure.

But there are good signs, they seem content , relaxed, comfortable, humor , true affection, not a fake put on for show, real, the way they talk about each other look at each other, loyalty, respect, simple things like that are very easy to see.

 

Funny you say why be here though , l wonder too especially about myself. l do have a real interest god knows why in relationship stuff.

But l kick myself , for going near the dating or search of sections they're enough to depress anyone. Me l try to avoid the misery or try to help if l can.

[Woggle]

Being in a long term relationship doesn't mean that someone is happy. I don't see why a truly happy person would visit these forums unless they secretly enjoy other's misery. Makes them feel better about their unhappiness

 

 

 

"I know he didn't touch me in a year, and I have a hunch that he has played around but at least I am celebrating 29th wedding anniversary. I'm MARRIED!"

 

This placed helped me out during one of my lowest times so I stick around and nowadays I mostly post in the political and current events sections. We are one of the few couples who are genuinely happy.

[elaine567]

We have a TV programme here in the UK called 24 hours in Accident and Emergency.

This tends to restore my faith in human beings.

Beautiful back stories of people who truly love each other facing worrying times in A&E, people from all walks of life, different ages, different ethnicities, different lifestyles...

[JustGettingBy]

Depends what you mean by smooth. If it means without some major disturbance that causes someone to rethink who they're dating, probably. If you mean perfectly, no.

[chillii]

Depends what you mean by smooth. If it means without some major disturbance that causes someone to rethink who they're dating, probably. If you mean perfectly, no.

 

 

 

 

l mean in the way they get just get along, and no not in so called dating, dating's nothing.

long term, marriages and such.

[Mysterio]

For me. There have to be no obstacles. Nothing has worked out if there has been.

 

When I look at my friends and acquaintances. It feels like its more the Women that will make or break the relationship. If they are not happy in the relationship. They will end it or make it turbulent to end it.

 

Men will put up with a lot. I have male friends that do things that my female friends would never do to maintain or get into a relationship.

 

Male friend #1 changes his work cycle to drive to another town to spend 6 days once a month with his GF. No way she would do that for him. They are together now in her town.

 

Male friend #2 his GF has OCD and some other anxiety problems. She can't maintain a job. He has to work 2 jobs to keep them afloat.

 

Male friend #3 His ex rekindled their relationship. They got together in Feb 2013. She was separated. Has two kids. She to this day is still technically tied to her ex marriage-wise. She can't get out of it. Somehow she managed to convince Friend 3 to live with her, have kids and he pays the mortgage on her place. Yet she can't get divorced from her ex and the ex has his own GF.

 

Those are situations that I don't have and don't want to have. Sometimes its looking at them. I feel fine being single.

[chillii]

Don't blame ya , if she wouldn't do at least the same for me and then some, and there's plenty of chances along the way to find out what she's really made off, then l'm not interested.