Guys: Being Friends with Females

[MeadowFlower]

My initial question should be rephrased as, Single guys, what are your feelings on having female friends? (not your ex)

 

But there is also a sub topic going on. And that is about married men having friendships with females.

I wouldn't want my husband to have a CLOSE friendship with another female. I don't want him sharing his heart and personal stuff with another woman, I'd want him to share that with me. What's the point of being married otherwise. And it should be a natural thing, not a law.

[Mysterio]

I have Four main female friends.

 

DS is 68

AG is 47

JC is 37.

JK is my friend's MK's wife and she is like a sister in law.

 

The rest are Facebook friends and acquaintances.

 

I think its good to have a couple of Female friends. I am at a point where I don't want anymore. I would like to have a GF that evolves into a wife at some point.

 

How do I feel about them. I think they are solid friends. I wish that I could meet a woman that is a combo if DS/AG personality wise. They are the two I would want my GF to emulate.

 

I don't know what you mean by feel about them. They are solid and loyal to me. Easy to be with. AG is out of town. The rest of that group of 4 live in my city.

[Mysterio]

None of my male friends except one, have close female friends.

 

I won't be giving up my female friends for a GF/Wife. I won't really try to make new ones. JC is the only one out of the 4 that is single. So unless JC tries to turn us into a relationship. My future GF/Wife has nothing to worry about.

 

AG almost got divorced from her husband 5 yrs ago. She called me about it. I sent her a care package to get her to think about herself and her marriage. If it was not for our close friendship. I think she would have gotten divored.

 

DS talks to me about her partner sometimes and her son. We are close and I don't think it interferes in her relationship.

 

JC and I are good, but I stay out of her personal life for the most part. Yet we talk about relationship all the time.

 

 

When I get going into my relationship with my SO. I have no problem if she has male friends. As long as I am her main squeeze.

[metalbabble]

My initial question should be rephrased as, Single guys, what are your feelings on having female friends? (not your ex)

 

That's a really complicated question to answer. I play a lot of co-ed sports and that requires knowing, interacting with, carpooling, and playing sports with women. Most of them are taken. A few of them I'd consider friends. Many have boyfriends/husbands that are jealous. I personally don't care.

 

I tend to put my best self forward toward women I find attractive. That's sort of hard wired into me and probably into most men. That means I'm the funniest, most confident, most playful and generally best person around attractive women. This makes having friendships difficult because I'm always projecting. It's tough to just relax and be a dude.

[manfrombelow2]

What do I think? It's the quickest way for a man to become a woman without having to go through any kind of operations or injecting of female hormones.

[alphamale]

What do I think? It's the quickest way for a man to become a woman without having to go through any kind of operations or injecting of female hormones.

 

so true HAHAAHA

[Andy_K]

If it happens, they generally fall into one of a few groups:

 

- girls I've dated but one or both of us was no longer interested

- partners of friends, and therefore off limits at all costs

- those met through common interests which work better in pairs or small groups (e.g board gaming or climbing or something)

 

Making a new female friend just to hang out and chat or have coffee with just isn't going to happen.

[MeadowFlower]

Making a new female friend just to hang out and chat or have coffee with just isn't going to happen.

 

And this would be the opinion of the standard guy hey?

[JustGettingBy]

Most of my "female friends" are the gfs or wives of my male friends. I've only had two close female friends over recent years who aren't.

[Happy Lemming]

And this would be the opinion of the standard guy hey?

 

Why would I want a strictly platonic female friend?? What is the purpose in that?? What is she going to bring to the table, that I can't get from one of my male friends?? Moreover, so many subjects would be off limits with her as opposed to one of my male friends.

 

What am I getting out of wasting time & resources on a strictly platonic friendship with a woman?? Stunning conversation??

[alphamale]

almost all of the girls I became friends with wanted to either date me or father their child OR get married. that was back in my 20s and 30s. most of these girls initiated the friendship with me. they were all good looking and smart but I just wasn't into them for various reasons

[Andy_K]

And this would be the opinion of the standard guy hey?

 

Judging by all the other responses in this thread, yes.

[Dave_7869]

I have a few female friends who aren't exes. I'm happy to have female friends as long as the friendship isn't only about me doing non-sexual "boyfriend" things for them when they're single. I'm not free manual labor, a chauffer, or a provider of free meals and/or entertainment.

 

This has been my experience as well. I’ve had several women friends over the years, we’ll meet for lunch or go see a concert or something. However, we’ve always paid using our own money. If it was a woman I was dating or in a relationship with I’d usually pay. Funny you mentioned the manual labor thing, years ago I was friends with a woman who asked this if me several times, I finally said “you know there are plenty of handymen who do these things. Look online.” The “friendship” kind of soured after that not surprisingly.

[MeadowFlower]

Judging by all the other responses in this thread, yes.

 

Males are a 'strange' lot, lol

[Mr. Lucky]

Why would I want a strictly platonic female friend?? What is the purpose in that?? What is she going to bring to the table, that I can't get from one of my male friends??

 

She would give you the female version of this:

 

My female friends say they like keeping me around because I give a true, unbiased, male perspective on things where most guys will lie to them and try to get laid.

 

Having only male friends would be like watching only Fox News. There is another view of things...

 

Mr. Lucky

[mark clemson]

I wouldn't want my husband to have a CLOSE friendship with another female. I don't want him sharing his heart and personal stuff with another woman, I'd want him to share that with me. What's the point of being married otherwise. And it should be a natural thing, not a law.

What am I getting out of wasting time & resources on a strictly platonic friendship with a woman?? Stunning conversation??

I am not disagreeing with any of the above, since everyone is of course entitled to their own view and will run their life however they see fit.

 

I will point out that, in my case, my female friend and I have conversations about spirituality that my wife simply has little interest in (agnostic with atheist leanings). I've met few male friends interested in my particular take on this area either. So there is a gap so to speak that this friend fills for me. She also works in my field and is quite bright and a good conversationalist generally, so that helps as well.

[Happy Lemming]

She would give you the female version of this:

 

Having only male friends would be like watching only Fox News. There is another view of things...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

If I want a female perspective on a situation, I'll just remove logic and insert emotion.

 

I've never really needed a female perspective or opinion on anything. Can't really think of a situation where I would.

[gaius]

I haven't really noticed women all agreeing on much of anything. They tend to be diverse and the opinions and input you get from one is different than another. Comparing male/female stuff to watching cable news almost sounds a little misogynist actually.

 

Thankfully we live in the 21st century and female input and ideas are everywhere. You don't need to have female friends to figure out what women think about things. There's no real valid reason to be hanging around with women other than the one you're with.

Edited April 6, 2019 by gaius

[chillii]

This one will really go down well

But. one thing l forgot to mention is tbh l am so damn sick of the average women and all their bullshyt anyway, and l think most guys are these days.lt's everywhere , internet, tv, news, me me me, women women women. lt's been going on everywhere my whole life and these days it's worse than ever.

l have zero interest in everyday women these days and the last thing l wanna be doing it sitting around listening to em.

l'm extremely close to the women in my life, my daughter, gf , one or two very good friends and special people , but the rest of them, frankly my dear l couldn't giva damn.

Even my gf says women are a pain in the ass, and come to think of it so does even my 17yr old daughter . She's gone from being popular her whole life to shutting most of them out these days because they're just a pain in the ass as she puts it. These days she only keeps one close female friend and a couple of guy friends,

Me ,l do love female company , but l'm very very choosy about it.

 

So there ya go , start shooting :bunny:

Edited April 6, 2019 by chillii

[Timshel]

If I want a female perspective on a situation, I'll just remove logic and insert emotion.

 

I've never really needed a female perspective or opinion on anything. Can't really think of a situation where I would.

 

 

It's too bad you feel that way Happy, as a woman, my thoughts and opinions are as lucid and valuable as any, I like to think. I usually only give opinions when asked, or here on ls. The women I know are intelligent and very strong; I have observed as many flaky men around as any casual association with as many women. Sigh, too bad your perception is otherwise.

 

 

Opposite sex friendships are not a big deal in the day to day, rigamarole of life that there would be a reason to shut any particular gender, ethnicity or cultural/religious disposition away...it really doesn't come up or happen. People are people and treated with respect and kindness unless/until there is a reason not to.

It's not complicated, trying to explain it is more complicated than every day life interactions. We don't watch Fox news or move through the day disparaging others.

 

 

 

I think it's fine to be friends/friendly with people of the opposite sex. It would only be in an instance that the friend is not a friend of the relationship (if you are in one) or that it is clear that one person would like more than the other (orbiter) that is problematic.

 

 

There's lot's of good people out there that should not be dismissed for superficial reasons. Men being friends with women really is a personal and situational judgement....for myself there is no firm yes/no, rather an intelligent circumstantial decision.

 

Flexibility as opposed to rigidness is what we do.

[2.50 a gallon]

I was in my 30's when one of my female neighbors whom I was helping fix her car brought up the idea of us being buddies or pals. She did not even know the names of the tools we were using. In short she knew nothing about mechanics. Later got out my basketball and she could not even dribble, and no way she could make a basket. When I played basketball, I expected you to know how to play the game. Rebound, break for the basket, set picks. Similar thing with volleyball. And forget football, I barely rolled into her showing her how to block and she was crying. She was not afraid of worms, just did not feel right about killing them by putting them on a hook and throwing into the water where they would drown. And she had never cleaned a fish, so fishing was out. As was hunting. Then I suggested we go down to the local bar and see if we could get laid. Nope not interested. About the only thing we had in common was we were sexually attracted to each other so we stayed friends with benefits

[elaine567]

I was in my 30's when one of my female neighbors whom I was helping fix her car brought up the idea of us being buddies or pals. She did not even know the names of the tools we were using. In short she knew nothing about mechanics. Later got out my basketball and she could not even dribble, and no way she could make a basket. When I played basketball, I expected you to know how to play the game. Rebound, break for the basket, set picks. Similar thing with volleyball. And forget football, I barely rolled into her showing her how to block and she was crying. She was not afraid of worms, just did not feel right about killing them by putting them on a hook and throwing into the water where they would drown. And she had never cleaned a fish, so fishing was out. As was hunting. Then I suggested we go down to the local bar and see if we could get laid. Nope not interested. About the only thing we had in common was we were sexually attracted to each other so we stayed friends with benefits

 

Oh well that proves it then, women are only good for one thing...

SMH...

[2.50 a gallon]

Yesterday my GF and I went shopping, here and there for different bargains, and also it was half price day at Goodwill so we stopped at a couple of them.

I can't imagine her giving me an Okay Dokay to do go shopping with a female friend. And she don't even need to ask if she can go shopping with some guy.

[2.50 a gallon]

Elaine567

 

 

I guess you are right, my great passion at that time was racing cars, so spent a lot of time working on cars. And if ever a friend needed an extra hand under the hood I would be there. Other than racing, I also liked to play softball, basketball, volleyball and football. No woman I ever met could come close to being proficient enough to make my team. I also liked fishing, and hiking. When I usually brought along camera, and lenses, etc. So be prepared to walk a good 5 or more miles, carrying a pack.

Or maybe a fishing rod and tackle box. Most times even my male friends could not keep up with me, much less a woman.

What's left? Shopping? Go to the movies? No thank you I prefer to go with my GF, who is really good at that one thing. And she does not want any competition

Edited April 7, 2019 by 2.50 a gallon

[Happy Lemming]

The women I know are intelligent and very strong...

 

 

Oh, I have had some female business associates. Yes, they were very intelligent and provided valuable advice. But they were business associates, not friends.

 

I've utilized female doctors, attorneys & tax advisors (for a second opinion), in the past. I paid the bill when it came in, thus business associates.