amerikajin Posted September 22, 2005 Share Posted September 22, 2005 Man, I really love this s***. i think worst is when your mid showering and you gotta go then gotta get out soaked water still running sit on the thrown dripping wet......it feels weird and it is too much of a hassle Aw man, c'mon! It's not so bad, really. Next time it happens, just imagine you're on one of those rides at the Wet 'n Wild. Man, have you ever had one of those s***s that just wouldn't flush? You know, one of those "get-out-the-Drano-and-plunger-cause the toilet's f*cked" s***s??? Ever have one those? Man, I had one not too long ago. I mean, it was WAR with the pile of crap that I left behind in the commode. I tried, and tried, and tried to shove that thing meanie but it wouldn't budge a bit. Finally, after about an hour, there was a break-through. But man, this required some major aeration! Most number of trips to the s***ter in a 24-hour period? I lost count after ten. Last year when I landed in Vietnam. It was a souvenir from Siem Reap, Cambodia. I thought I was gonna die. Thank God for French doctors, and thank God for Cipro. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 When one of my sisters was about 2 years old I was about 15 and I was watching her.. I went in to check on her in her crib and she had pulled her poop out of her diaper and smeared it everywhere.. All over the rungs on the crib.. all over her.. she was eating it.. it was all over the wall..It was in her hair.. What a mess.. A huge Poop bomb went off .. My daughter did that when she was about 2. Naturally, being the parent, I had to clean it up. Stood her in the shower and gave her a thorough wash (it was in her hair, on her face, everywhere), then stripped the crib, tossed the sheet out, and wiped down the crib and the wall with Lysol. I still refer to that as her "Poo Painting" episode. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 I remember when my nephew was a baby, it was after he was Christened...I took him upstairs and did a diaper change. Just as I was slipping on the new Diaper, he made a little funny face, then PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT all over the place!!!! s***bomb on me, the wall, him and on my sister! OH man, what a mess! My sister-inlaw ended up cleaning the room up, gave the baby a quick bath. I know IF I decide to have kids, I can handle s*** bombs...what I know I can't handle is the projectile puking. I have a HUGE fear of throwing up, and I can't stand to be around anybody who does it, including kids. Yuk! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 I know IF I decide to have kids, I can handle s*** bombs...what I know I can't handle is the projectile puking. I have a HUGE fear of throwing up, and I can't stand to be around anybody who does it, including kids. Yuk! See WWIU....I know I can't ever be a parent cause I can barely wipe my own ass clean let alone someone elses! Watch the original Exorcist if u want to see some good projectile vomit! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 See WWIU....I know I can't ever be a parent cause I can barely wipe my own ass clean let alone someone elses! I've seen that movie many times... You seen Emily Rose yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 24, 2005 Author Share Posted September 24, 2005 You seen Emily Rose yet? i wanted to but then i heard it is more about a court room drama than a horror flick Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Ah see it DVD then... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 i get COMPLETE and UTTER satisfaction from pooping at work, on the clock! i usually go around 10:30, after 2 cups of coffe and a smoke. The only thing that tops that, is when i have the Trots at work....... Sure, it sucks, but it's PMSymptom #1, and hey, i would rather get paid to have the s***s, than Not. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 The worst is being constipated at work LOL!!! I remember one night I had to poop, told my co-worker I had to s*** and I'd be back hopefully in 20 mins...(We all shared details too) He said to me, "What happens after 20 mins? You turn into a poo pumpkin?" I said, "Nope, but that means the constipation is back and you're on your own for atleast 45 mins until I'm done!" I think I was in there for over half an hour. I didn't, but I really wanted to strip down naked. For some strange reason it helps when you're constipated! Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Your boss can't tell you that you don't do s*** at work. Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Wow, it never occured to me to fold my toilet paper and reuse. I am definately a "wadder" and I, too, follow-up with baby wipes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 i usually go around 10:30, after 2 cups of coffe and a smoke. yeah see, LRB...what is it about the coffee/smoke combo that causes you to poop almost instantaneously? i get the same thing esp in the morning. Link to post Share on other sites
nosybear819 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I'm not a coffee drinker or a smoker but what makes me have to go poop more than anything is ice cream - I'm not talking grocery store ice cream either I'm talking about the good stuff from baskin robbins if I go there and get my fav.1 scoop of pralines ' cream + 1 scoop of gold medal ribbon I know I'll be on the sh*tter shortly thereafter Actually it could be any flavor ice cream from there but yeah ice cream definitely does a number on me..number 2 as a matter of fact! Another thing that really makes me hafta go is drinking. If I go to the bar and am having a nice time drinking it's guaranteed I'm also gonna have a nice time once I get home releasing my bowels...sometimes I even have to go at the bar after I've had a few. The thing that I always have wondered about are those people who always clog up the toilet my friend at work is forever clogging up the toilet here. I've never had so much crap in the pot that it just wouldn't go down or had such a huge turd to make the toilet overflow...what's that girl eating? I mean I don't sh*t pebbles but heck how big are these things that are backing up the toilets? Oh and about the gf/bf thing I used to tell my ex when I had to go #2 'cuz men are weird and he always wanted to know if i was going to take a crap. He liked to come in the bathroom with me and take a crap all the time like it was a bonding ritual for him or something Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 yeah see, LRB...what is it about the coffee/smoke combo that causes you to poop almost instantaneously? i get the same thing esp in the morning If you eat a relatively consistent diet at regular intervals, your bowels tend to get on a schedule. As for coffee, it relaxes the anal sphincter muscles, which induce bowel movements. Anything with caffeine has the same effect, in fact - as do alcoholic beverages. Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I usually go once in the morning soon after breakfast. On a side issue, what kind of poos does everyone do? Really hard chunky ones? Explosive ones? Slimy drippy ones? Im pretty much vegan these days and I find I do poos that look a lot like what comes out of a cow. Lol. No doubt its the excessive roughage lol. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 yeah see, LRB...what is it about the coffee/smoke combo that causes you to poop almost instantaneously? i get the same thing esp in the morning. I know!! And when that feeling comes, it's like you have less than one minute to get yourself to the bathroom! On a side issue, what kind of poos does everyone do? Really hard chunky ones? Explosive ones? Slimy drippy ones? Varies on the day and ofcourse what I eat. My favourite s*** is the one that takes about 5 seconds to do, you feel it coming out but you look in the can and it's GONE! WTF! Must be the speed it comes out or something... I don't know! Even better when ya wipe and there's nothing there! About 2 weeks ago I did bunny pellet-poo's. Probably about 20 of them. Why? I don't know! Was funny though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 25, 2005 Author Share Posted September 25, 2005 I know!! And when that feeling comes, it's like you have less than one minute to get yourself to the bathroom! I think i've figured it out...i woke up 30 minutes ago, made coffe, had a smoke and took a dump I think the nicotine in the cigs jump starts your metabolism or tells your body you are awake and everything starts "moving". Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I think the nicotine in the cigs jump starts your metabolism or tells your body you are awake and everything starts "moving". Oh yeah, definately! I really hate it when I rush upstairs to the can at dumptime, and see my husband sitting there, newspaper spread everywhere reading. AND HE ISN'T POOING!! WTF? So I tell him he has 5 seconds to get out! (We only have one bathroom...) Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted September 25, 2005 Share Posted September 25, 2005 I'm a wadder myself as well, it's much easier. I only go about once every 2-3 days though, been that way my entire life. I see everyone here goes like 2-3 times a DAY...I look at that and think "wtf? I never go twice in one day, let alone even two days in a row." Link to post Share on other sites
Author alphamale Posted September 26, 2005 Author Share Posted September 26, 2005 I only go about once every 2-3 days though, been that way my entire life. I see everyone here goes like 2-3 times a DAY...I look at that and think "wtf? I never go twice in one day, let alone even two days in a row." maybe you're not eating enough food BLUE16 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I think I have the hotbum squirts... Should not have had coffee today...That didn't help things along. OK other than crackers, dry toast, soup (which I can't even think of eating right now), gingerale...Oh and banana. What can I eat that won't set me off big time. Had part of a banana, kinda helped but my tummy is crampin' up. Been over an hour since I've gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 I think I have the hotbum squirts... Should not have had coffee today...That didn't help things along. OK other than crackers, dry toast, soup (which I can't even think of eating right now), gingerale...Oh and banana. What can I eat that won't set me off big time. Had part of a banana, kinda helped but my tummy is crampin' up. Been over an hour since I've gone. Pumpkin Works.. Go get a can at the grocery..It'll stove ya right up Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Not raw, I hope. Yuk. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 Not raw, I hope. Yuk. the kind in the can are ready to put in a pie.. I learned the trick from my vet .. My dog had the squirts really bad and that is what they told me to use.. it worked in about an hour.. And ever since then I use it also for myself.. works good.. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2005 Share Posted September 26, 2005 the kind in the can are ready to put in a pie.. I learned the trick from my vet .. My dog had the squirts really bad and that is what they told me to use.. it worked in about an hour.. And ever since then I use it also for myself.. works good.. Oh good, glad you tried it as I'm thinking to myself, his dog ate it and it worked, so why not let WWIU do just that...Hmmm... Think I'll stick to gingerale and dry toast. Even that is too much to handle right now... Link to post Share on other sites
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