drop of jupiter Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Hey there, What advices can you give me about ways to stop thinking about a guy? One of the advices on Youtube is to see him for who he really is, with all his imperfections (and he must have some, like all of us!), and that whould break this "ideal" image of him that I created in my head. but... how can I do that if I never even met him/sopke to him in reality, not even on the phone? I don't know what to do anymore, this going on for far too long :\ Looking forward to hear your tips.. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 Well, if you've never met him, then all you are doing is projecting that he is the "ideal man" in your head. That man in your head doesn't exist. So you need to stop looking at love like a Disney movie and go out in real life and take up hobbies in real life outside your house and meet real people and mingle with them and see what they're like instead of hoping some guy online is the perfect guy you made up in your head. Stop even looking at this guy's social media or contacting him and try to come back to the real world. This is nothing but a fantasy and he is not who you hope he'll be. You're wasting your youth doing this type of stuff when you need to be out living and doing hobbies and being around actual real life people. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 5, 2019 Share Posted April 5, 2019 You can't stop per se but when you find yourself thinking about him, acknowledge the thought & then consciously redirect your thinking. Say to yourself, I have given this too much time & attention. I have to put him out of my mind & do something else. Then do just that. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted April 7, 2019 Share Posted April 7, 2019 ....................... One of the advices on Youtube is to see him for who he really is, with all hisimperfections ..... and that whould break this "ideal" image of him that I created in my head .............. I know this is not what you are looking for... but in my opinion... this is not good. If you are angry, or overly emotional... then you may be turning a good person into a monster. And, in turn, you may start to believe your own (not completely true) stories. (the problem with my ending marriage) Keeping your mind busy with a hobby, family, and friends will help. Also, if you have a GOOD friend, who will listen, not judge, and not sugar coat things... then simply talking will eventually let you release everything. For me, that point has been a God send. I have one woman who has a rough marriage, and we bounce things off each other. And, I have a old friend that isn't near me, but he listens. I've even apologized to him, but his response is... "I'm hear as long as you need me." And lastly... A point I made in my own thread... only Father Time can truly heal the hurt. Good luck, and God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
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