LDR Success Stories

[shydad]

Hi all, I'm just curious if this ever works. Do any forum members have a story to share? For example, "We met one summer. We were apart for two years, but then came back together and have been married for ten years now." It just seems so challenging. If anyone actually posts a story, what was the secret to your success?

[d0nnivain]

My college roommate met her husband in the 7th grade. They went to college in PA & Montana. They broke up senior year & got back together 2 years later when he was in grad school in NJ where she was working

 

Many of the Marines who served with my husband are still married to their wives & those relationships survived deployments.

 

I date a guy on the West Coast for 3 years, 2 years long distance. We didn't break up because of the distance. We broke up because he was an out of control alcoholic with mounting legal problems.

[preraph]

I only know of one I'd call a success and it was prior to internet. Started in the late 70s I think. She was on the west coast and he was in Oklahoma and I guess she must have worked somewhere he had to call on business, but they didn't meet for a very long time, years, and talked on the phone and then they met and almost immediately married and last I heard, very happy.

[chillii]

Sadly, mine didn't but that was due to some other things moreso than distance, the moving we'd worked out early in

l have a friend though that met her love in another country on a hiking holiday.

they were together 1 month and then a country apart for 2 1/2 yrs but kept it going the whole time from a distance. Then they finally met up again and atm she's in his country and they're figuring out where they wanna live.

[Els]

H and I have been together for almost 11 years, we were long distance for 2. And I mean LONG distance, like the flight there would take an entire day and a good chunk of your bank account. We also had a period of "short distance" for a year where we lived about 2 hrs drive apart, but to be honest that barely registers on my radar, being able to see each other every weekend is very different from a LDR IMO.

 

 

I don't think there was any "secret" per se. I guess I could say that we knew we had something really special that would make it all worth it. Being in a LDR is REALLY hard though. The emotional toll, the financial toll, not being able to do things that most couples take for granted. On the bright side, most people who have survived LDRs know that you shouldn't take anything for granted - lying in each other's arms may be a daily thing for us now, but we know that 9 years ago it was something that we waited an entire 6 months for.

[chillii]

Thanks for your story elswyth, so nice to hear.

But alas , between your story and that one of my friends l talked about which was just recently, l still struggle with mine and us not working it out.

Although it was other things too, l know too we both subconsciously looked for other things, because over coming the distance thing, in the end for us, and one of us having to move cross the world , was a lot easier to talk about at the start , than to actually do two yrs later in RL, and that did become a one of the biggest things in the end no doubt about it, plus the financial side of it too hell yeah.

 

But sadly l know too lately now, that we'll both be haunted by it now and letting it go , probably forever, damn it.

Still ,,,really nice to know you two and others did figure it out.

Edited April 6, 2019 by chillii

[hippychick3]

I’ve been in a LDR for 5 1/2 years now. He moved 3 hours away for work after dating for 3 months, and we stayed together. When my daughter graduates from hs, I will move to where he is and we’ll marry. We see each other on the weekends, and the relationship has strengthened over the years because of the frequency of visits and daily communication. It’s very, very hard, but we truly love and value each other and each feel we have met the perfect person for us.

[Els]

Thanks for your story elswyth, so nice to hear.

But alas , between your story and that one of my friends l talked about which was just recently, l still struggle with mine and us not working it out.

Although it was other things too, l know too we both subconsciously looked for other things, because over coming the distance thing, in the end for us, and one of us having to move cross the world , was a lot easier to talk about at the start , than to actually do two yrs later in RL, and that did become a one of the biggest things in the end no doubt about it, plus the financial side of it too hell yeah.

 

 

Thank you, chilli. It IS really hard, especially the bolded. Uprooting your life to move across the world is no joke. It was a bit easier for me because I was young (no assets or dependents) and the country that I was moving to was a much better place to live in anyway (he and I both come from the same country, he moved overseas first as part of his degree). But it was still insanely hard for both of us, especially as he had to support me financially for the few months that I was not allowed to work, in addition to the fact that such problems/conflicts are so much easier to resolve when you can talk about them in each others' arms instead of over the much more impersonal Skype.

 

I am truly glad we made it, and that overcoming the distance together has made us stronger. But a LDR is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life - and I'm saying this as someone with a graduate degree and who leads a team of engineers on a daily basis. I wouldn't wish a LDR on my worst enemy, and I don't blame any couples who decide they can't do it. It's very understandable, and doesn't say anything about the person or the couple IMO.

[chillii]

Yeah yaknow l never really appreciated what migrants must go through before all our stuff and hearing things like yours. And she'd already don't it once in her 20s and had spent already 23yrs building a new life over there.

Like you say it is very understandable and a huge deal.

Think l'll always have a soft spot now though for people that do make it and stories like yours and others here.

Best for the future anyway and to anyone else going through it, glad you made it too.

[justwhoiam]

I guess mine is the longest on here. I've been knowing him for 18 years. We fell in love with each other 8 years ago, after meeting up for the first time, though he was already in love with me by then. We got together a year later, so it'll be 7 years this year. I must say it's kinda rocky between us. We're still long distance. We both have minor children.

[chillii]

I guess mine is the longest on here. I've been knowing him for 18 years. We fell in love with each other 8 years ago, after meeting up for the first time, though he was already in love with me by then. We got together a year later, so it'll be 7 years this year. I must say it's kinda rocky between us. We're still long distance. We both have minor children.

 

 

Hey and thanks for the story.

So what were you in the first 10yrs can l ask, were you in love through that too even though you hadn't met but just holding out to meet , or was it just a friend thing through those years ?

 

l just ask because of wondering about my own situation that's all but if you'd rather not say no worries.

[Els]

I guess mine is the longest on here. I've been knowing him for 18 years. We fell in love with each other 8 years ago, after meeting up for the first time, though he was already in love with me by then. We got together a year later, so it'll be 7 years this year. I must say it's kinda rocky between us. We're still long distance. We both have minor children.

 

 

7 years is really rough, hang in there. {{hugs}}

 

 

I haven't seen LittleTiger around for a while, but I think hers was equally long last I heard. IslandGirl was going on 9 years AFAIK, but she hasn't been around for a long time so I'm not sure what became of that.