What is your honest opinion of women over 40

[Fair]

The tag line should read 'Honest OPINION of women over 40."

 

How many of you have chosen to pair up in later life with a single woman in her 40's who has never been married with no children.

 

I find men repeatedly making me feel like I'm too old for them though the men I date tend to be older... in their 50's. Some of them are still holding out hope for children, other's just seem to think they can get someone 'better', who is a lot younger than me.

 

Granted, I don't date A LOT. I'm not 'out there', but I'm always disappointed with the men I do meet and feel like my age is a factor, now. It's not all in my head... they do manage to sneak in shots here and there about my age... I feel like I'm going to be stuck dating 60 year olds just to be considered desirable enough. This is happening to my female friends as well... men A LOT older are approaching them but no one their own age or just above.

 

I'm curious what men in general really think of women in their mid 40's... especially if they've never been married because I think there's still a stigma about that.

[Foxhall]

It varies I suppose,

 

 

personally as a 38 year old,romantically I prefer women who are slightly younger than me,

I cannot help it but be drawn to their youthful vigour and beauty!

 

 

that being said I enjoy building connections and friendships with women and from that point of view someone in their mid 40s would be perfectly fine as a friend

I have a few mates though, who would be around 40-42 and they like to date or "hook up" perhaps is the more accurate term with women in their mid to late - forties,

As you mention yourself perhaps these are guys who are not especially interested in having children and so on and are happy with more of a sexual fling!

 

 

so from that point of view I think there are plenty of guys around the 40-45 mark who will still find you attractive

[BaileyB]

I’m not a man... but, I will say that it happened for me.

 

I turned 40 just weeks after I met my partner. He was in his early 40’s, he was divorced and he had a child. I have never been married and I had no children. It’s never been a problem for us. In fact, I remember him telling me that he was surprised I had not been married and was single when we first started dating...

 

So, with the right man - it can certainly happen.

[Fair]

@Foxhall

 

I think that hits the nail on the head. For the most part, it seems like I'm going to be 'friend zoned' or used for flings. This just seems to be the direction it's heading.

 

I'm not looking for someone younger. I have always tended to date men around 8 years older and no less than three or four years older.

 

Looking to hear from men in their 50's. What are your views?

[Fair]

@BaileyB

 

Well... 39 and 40... ok. But 45 and up things start looking a bit iffy. In my experience.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I'm obviously not speaking for me, but I do have two friends who got married in their forties after never having married.

 

One married someone much younger who is OK with not having kids. They are both extremely quirky people, but perfectly matched .

 

The other just would not settle and is very intense emotionally. Every conversation with her is deep and thought-provoking (she's a therapist). She's amazing and probably is the perfect wife. Just needed to find her perfect match.....also a man in his mid-forties who had never been married.

[kendahke]

We're amazing.

[elaine567]

I guess this is a side effect of the supermarket shopping that is internet dating. Just as women are bypassing guys who do not come up to the 6 foot mark as she deserves a "proper" man, men are ticking the under 40 box, as he deserves a younger woman.

 

Whereas IRL, it is all about immediate attraction and getting along well, so does it matter if he is actually only 5 foot 10, or she is 43...???

Not really.

[BaileyB]

@BaileyB

 

Well... 39 and 40... ok. But 45 and up things start looking a bit iffy. In my experience.

 

My father started a new relationship after my mother died when he was 64. His girlfriend is in her late 50’s...

[oceanblue12]

of course, each individual is different but as a whole...I feel that women

in their 30s and 40s are very captivating

Most seem to ooze confidence and have an understated sex appeal

[Fair]

@BaileyB

 

I just find at this age I attract much, much older men. I don't want to be dating a sixty something. Not that there's anything wrong with being sixty something, but at this point in my life it would mean dating someone 15 to 20 years older and it's not my particular preference.

[BaileyB]

@BaileyB

 

I just find at this age I attract much, much older men. I don't want to be dating a sixty something. Not that there's anything wrong with being sixty something, but at this point in my life it would mean dating someone 15 to 20 years older and it's not my particular preference.

 

I don’t blame you.

 

I simply offer the examples so that you know, it can happen. I didn’t think it would happen for me... I was pleasantly surprised!

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm 42 and over the past couple years have dated men from early 40s to early 50s, have had the longest runs with two men in their late 40s.

[emeraldgreen]

Honest because honesty was asked for...

 

Many of them are horrible because they haven't realised they've hit the wall and have less to offer than they ever have in life. Many act like they're hot as they were 15 years ago and expect to be treated as such. I find them the least agreeable, most demanding demographic out there and when I can no longer pull late 20s and early 30s girls as I do now (in my 40s), I'll fill the house with cats instead and be happier for it!

 

I have female friends in their 40s and as social company they can be okay, but as dating prospects - never met one I didn't see wearing a backpack full of red flags.

[chillii]

Honestly , l can't see any problem at all as a matter of fact l think 40s is a great age in women if they look after themselves .

l suppose if a guy was looking to have kids l dunno, 40s can still have kids anyway but depending on his age, he might prefer someone a bit younger.

Talking only serious relationship views her not just flings or screwing round.

 

When l found myself single after my marriage, later 40s , ot was a very scary time because if there was gonna be someone else, l wanted from somewhere just a bit younger than me up to about say 10yrs younger , all give or take nothing in stone but for me being far younger than my years then most my age, that's just what l need to fit.

Problem was most women l came across we're in terrible shape , health problems , and already seeming old, this was the biggest thing , thought l was screwed because l didn't want someone any younger than that.

But after awhile l realized most yeah, so l don't want one of those , but not all. So l'll look for that odd one out, someone like me that was still looking good , young at heart, still had great taste in music and clothes haha, still nice and fit, one or no kids.

My first gf was 8yrs younger but she was in beautiful shape and still had heaps of energy, beautiful tastes. sadly , that couldn't work out,

My gf now is 6yrs younger than me and all much the same combo. She does moan about health a bit but man she's as fit as a fiddle , heaps of energy , looks fantastic and great for her age, she's got one son, weirdly the other one had one son too.

But l wouldn't care if they had no kids, although l have 1 daughter so as long as they were ok about that , all good.

 

l'll never forget though one girl l met , who was actually 3yrs older than me, yet she looked 15yrs younger , and she was beautifully youngish in her ways and personality and everything too.

Would've gone for her for sure but we didn't sorta click so that was that.

 

So nope , don't think what you've been feeling at all , it's just a matter of finding the like minded person that's the right fit for you.

Edited April 5, 2019 by chillii

[Fair]

Honest because honesty was asked for...

 

Many of them are horrible because they haven't realised they've hit the wall and have less to offer than they ever have in life. Many act like they're hot as they were 15 years ago and expect to be treated as such. I find them the least agreeable, most demanding demographic out there and when I can no longer pull late 20s and early 30s girls as I do now (in my 40s), I'll fill the house with cats instead and be happier for it!

 

I have female friends in their 40s and as social company they can be okay, but as dating prospects - never met one I didn't see wearing a backpack full of red flags.

 

Well in my opinion you're typical of men in their 40's who still think they can get women 20 years younger. Perhaps you the 40 year old women are reacting to your superiority.... I mean, you think we have less to offer than we've ever had.... what makes you think you have more to offer than we do at the SAME AGE?

 

Go ahead. Bag your younger women. Providing you can still get them, you can only pray they'll stick around. Eventually, those young girls are going to be looking around for younger men.

[Fair]

I think women in their 40's are just as beautiful as ever. I myself have been told I look ten years younger, and a woman I worked with recently thought I was still in my 20's. I look better than a huge percentage of men my age, and so do my female friends from my school days who are generally still fit and gorgeous. I mean, you don't suddenly just crumble once you hit 40.

 

YET... we face age discrimination when it comes to dating.

[Ruby Slippers]

Pretty much everybody single/divorced over 40, male and female, is challenged in the romance department in one way or another or a dozen. All the well-balanced people with minimal issues are coupled up.

[Fair]

@RubySlippers

 

It's folly to believe everyone in relationships are healthier than the rest of us. Look at all the unbelievably terrible relationships. It curls your hair.

 

But this is a good example of how single vs. non single people are compared with singles being viewed more negatively in general, making it even harder to interest people in part because of that bias. It's a couples world.

[mark clemson]

I'm not dating and am over 45, but male - do I count?

 

If so, my view is that the same things apply that would make me want to stick with someone that would have earlier in life, although I'm likely to be more discerning (the whole with age comes wisdom thing).

 

What makes a woman someone you want to stick with? The same things as before (and it's not the same things for every guy). Appearance, intelligence, personality, health, ability to support oneself, lack of substantial baggage all will be factors.

 

Some women will have more or less of these qualities when younger, but it's not an age thing. There are no doubt many 45 y.o.s who would beat out a drug addicted 25 year old with manic depression.

 

There also may be guys who have "rules" - for example if they're seeking another kid they may want under 40, or they may simply decide somewhat arbitrarily that 40 is a cutoff. Some may play the field and not tell you until they've had a few rolls in the hay. Not particularly nice, but that is how some men roll I believe.

[emeraldgreen]

Well in my opinion you're typical of men in their 40's who still think they can get women 20 years younger. Perhaps you the 40 year old women are reacting to your superiority.... I mean, you think we have less to offer than we've ever had.... what makes you think you have more to offer than we do at the SAME AGE?

 

Go ahead. Bag your younger women. Providing you can still get them, you can only pray they'll stick around. Eventually, those young girls are going to be looking around for younger men.

 

Might be better in the future, when asking for honest opinions to specify that you really only want the ones that make you feel relevant. I regretfully have experiences upon which to draw, but you've shown me the error of my ways.

[basil67]

Well in my opinion you're typical of men in their 40's who still think they can get women 20 years younger. Perhaps you the 40 year old women are reacting to your superiority.... I mean, you think we have less to offer than we've ever had.... what makes you think you have more to offer than we do at the SAME AGE?

 

Go ahead. Bag your younger women. Providing you can still get them, you can only pray they'll stick around. Eventually, those young girls are going to be looking around for younger men.

 

The irony here is that your response just proved what he wrote.

[elaine567]

I just find at this age I attract much, much older men. I don't want to be dating a sixty something. Not that there's anything wrong with being sixty something, but at this point in my life it would mean dating someone 15 to 20 years older and it's not my particular preference.

 

Maybe you need to look carefully at how you are coming across to men.

Seems to me most people get along best with people of their own age group, lots of stuff in common, similar life stages and general outlook on life.

So why are you not attracting 40 something guys?

Are you somehow giving off an older vibe that is chiming with 60 yos but not with 40yos...

[Fair]

@elain567

 

I very much doubt it. I hardly act like an old lady. Nor do I look like one. This is happening to others my age so it's not just me.

[emeraldgreen]

I think women in their 40's are just as beautiful as ever.

 

feel like my age is a factor, now. It's not all in my head

 

You are conflicted in your own views, not just others'.

 

YET... we face age discrimination when it comes to dating.

 

Taste doesn't know discrimination. It's just taste. Outcomes in dating aren't about fairness or equality, only attraction and compatibility.