What is your honest opinion of women over 40

[JuneL]

I am not an ageist against any woman but if they are of legal age that is their business. I don't know why people are so concerned with what consenting adults do. Whether or not is socially acceptable is beside the point. If they are not signing my checks or any of the people who has gained my trust I don't about their opinion.

 

I tend to agree. I think it’s very creepy for a middle-aged man to be romantically interested in a 20-something, only if the attraction is not returned. If it’s mutual, then it’s their choice...who are we to judge?

[shydad]

Maybe the 40+ men should just stop being paedos.

I'm sure you meant to say "some of the 40+ men".

[mark clemson]

Honestly I don't think a 45 year old who would date a 22 year old is a pedophile unless she is VERY waifish. He's been attracted to women who look like her since he was 15 or whatever - she's just a (young) woman to him. Pedo is something different and much, much worse IMO.

[metalbabble]

There are no men around here. When I've asked friends in the past if they know anyone they could set me up with the answer was always... "Gee... I don't know of anyone."

 

Literally EVERYONE is married.

 

So those who have pointed out where I live as being a factor are very correct... the odd single one who still remains tends to be loaded with issues and bring them to my doorstep, like my ex boyfriend who was deliberately chipping away at my self esteem to keep me from going anywhere... I won't stand still for that.

 

Sorry but I think you need to hear a hard truth.

 

When I was overweight, depressed and unemployed I thought the same thing.. that nobody was ever single and there was just nobody to set me up with.

 

Yet a funny thing happened when I started hitting the gym regularly, got a good job and my mood and confidence improved. Suddenly everyone had a friend, a neice, a neighbour who was single and they wanted to introduce me to.

 

People won't outright tell you when they think you have low social value, just like they won't tell you when you have high value.. it will just be obvious by the way you're treated. You have to know this.

[chillii]

Your default advice for women is 'stop being so fat and then someone will love you'. Maybe the 40+ men should just stop being paedos. Why is it socially acceptable for a man to date someone who was a fetus while he celebrated his 21st.

 

 

 

 

Very common with women to these days, even the halfwit actresses, hell there's cougar clubs, cougar date sites, all this after blasting men since the beginning of time, but it's no different for them accept they're usually cheered on by women, it's even in this very thread.

Edited April 10, 2019 by chillii

[thefooloftheyear]

Your default advice for women is 'stop being so fat and then someone will love you'. Maybe the 40+ men should just stop being paedos. Why is it socially acceptable for a man to date someone who was a fetus while he celebrated his 21st.

 

It's not "default advice" its just basic common sense...And most women know this all too well and quite a few aren't sitting around complaining and whining about it, instead they are doing what they need to do.. And hence don't have as much issue..

 

And I can't speak for other guys, but if much younger and attractive women actively pursue an older guy who isn't even interested or trying to get their attention, then it's a pretty safe bet that there are plenty more as well out there that don't have to rely on a windowless van and a cute puppy...

 

Nothing about this is ever really fair..."to the victor go the spoils", as they say...To sit around and hurl bottles like you are doing, puts you on the same level as the 28 year old out of shape guy in his mothers basement playing Fortnite-then complaining that no women want to give him a chance..

 

TFY

Edited April 10, 2019 by thefooloftheyear

[guest569]

It's not "default advice" its just basic common sense...And most women know this all too well and quite a few aren't sitting around complaining and whining about it, instead they are doing what they need to do.. And hence don't have as much issue..

 

And I can't speak for other guys, but if much younger and attractive women actively pursue an older guy who isn't even interested or trying to get their attention, then it's a pretty safe bet that there are plenty more as well out there that don't have to rely on a windowless van and a cute puppy...

 

Nothing about this is ever really fair..."to the victor go the spoils", as they say...To sit around and hurl bottles like you are doing, puts you on the same level as the 28 year old out of shape guy in his mothers basement playing Fortnite-then complaining that no women want to give him a chance..

 

TFY

 

It is default advice because you just recite it every time a woman has trouble with dating, regardless of her body type (which you know nothing about) fat, chubby, slim, anorexic, or fit as eff. You just have some kind of obsession with it. You assume that a woman who is single after 40 must be fat, it's the only explanation. So blindly telling someone to lose weight when they might not have any to lose could be damaging, plain useless at best.

 

We also have a bunch of people telling Fair that she is a bitter person and I find that BS.

 

I'm not on any levels, mate, not a gamer. I recycle thank you very much. Some fat guy in a basement and blah and yeah, so take that. *fist bump* like, really? What the hell was that? :lmao:

[thefooloftheyear]

It is default advice because you just recite it every time a woman has trouble with dating, regardless of her body type (which you know nothing about) fat, chubby, slim, anorexic, or fit as eff. You just have some kind of obsession with it. You assume that a woman who is single after 40 must be fat, it's the only explanation. So blindly telling someone to lose weight when they might not have any to lose could be damaging, plain useless at best.

 

We also have a bunch of people telling Fair that she is a bitter person and I find that BS.

 

I'm not on any levels, mate, not a gamer. I recycle thank you very much. Some fat guy in a basement and blah and yeah, so take that. *fist bump* like, really? What the hell was that? :lmao:

 

I, just like everyone else, relay my life experiences if you don't like it, tough titties...No where do I direct it at anyone in particular because....duh....you're right, I don't know what they look like...

 

Someone who is hair trigger defensive and gives off the impression that the world sucks and they are awesome could easily be seem as bitter, but hey, like I said, it's only opinions..

 

As for the last part,. you just don't comprehend the analogy, so I don't know what to tell you...,, To suggest or make the outrageous claim that any guy that happens to wind up with a much younger women should stop being a pedophile strikes me as a woman that is quite bitter....

 

TFY

[guest569]

I, just like everyone else, relay my life experiences if you don't like it, tough titties...No where do I direct it at anyone in particular because....duh....you're right, I don't know what they look like...

 

Someone who is hair trigger defensive and gives off the impression that the world sucks and they are awesome could easily be seem as bitter, but hey, like I said, it's only opinions..

 

As for the last part,. you just don't comprehend the analogy, so I don't know what to tell you...,, To suggest or make the outrageous claim that any guy that happens to wind up with a much younger women should stop being a pedophile strikes me as a woman that is quite bitter....

 

TFY

 

Not bitter, I just don't like the thought of dating a wrinkly old fat paedo man who was a man before I was born. Just my opinion. Tough old wrinkly leather balls if that offends you. I didn't direct my earlier post, about crap people, to anyone in particular, but you took it.

 

You directly tell thread starters all the time that they are too fat for love.

[Wallysbears]

No one is too fat.

 

But there have to be realistic expectations. And if you read these boards enough, you will see where there are many instances of unrealistic expectations followed by frustration.

 

Best way to get a date is to be someone others would want to date. Not just physically but also socially and emotionally.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

There are no men around here. When I've asked friends in the past if they know anyone they could set me up with the answer was always... "Gee... I don't know of anyone."

 

Literally EVERYONE is married.

 

So those who have pointed out where I live as being a factor are very correct... the odd single one who still remains tends to be loaded with issues and bring them to my doorstep, like my ex boyfriend who was deliberately chipping away at my self esteem to keep me from going anywhere... I won't stand still for that.

 

I still say you need to work on your attitude. You speak in such pessimistic, exaggerated absolutes as if life is something that is happening to you. What's one small thing you can change to think more positively today?

[thefooloftheyear]

Not bitter, I just don't like the thought of dating a wrinkly old fat paedo man who was a man before I was born. Just my opinion. Tough old wrinkly leather balls if that offends you. I didn't direct my earlier post, about crap people, to anyone in particular, but you took it.

 

You directly tell thread starters all the time that they are too fat for love.

 

 

I see from your other thread that you are down on yourself(and probably the entire male world) and angry/hurt and perhaps I touched a nerve....I won't continue to stress you out over anything, you win and you can believe what you want...

 

I wish you the best in your road to recovery..

 

TFY

[ChatroomHero]

I went out with one girl I really liked that was about to be 40, never married. First time we met, we got along great. She was asking her friend the next day before noon to find out if I was going to call her.

 

We went out again and she was stand-offish, seemed to be I guess, disruptive or moody on the next date and it was just odd. Like she agreed to the date and chose the time, then when we went out seemed annoyed to be there. After the date I knew that was it, but in follow ups I felt like I was trying to date a 21 year old.

 

My feeling is women in their 40s are fine, but for whatever reason the 'more single' ones I tend to think are immature or else difficult. Others I have known seem to be more abrasive or out to prove they are better than me. Like anything I say they will try to correct or one-up or something like that.

 

I expect it is like anyone else. There is a reason they are single at 40, doesn't mean it is a bad reason but there is a reason. Very picky, very particular, just not way into a deep relationship in reality, find relationships inconvenient, career before anything else...whatever. So if I meet a 40s single woman, I have no issues with that but I do tend to suspect that they don't want a relationship even if they say they do. Or at least the relationship they want is probably different and less involved than what i would consider a normal one.

 

Either way, I never judge someone on their situation until I actually know them. For all I know, she is single because she was waiting for someone exactly like me all that time.

[Wallysbears]

I know a woman (not well personally...but an acquaintance) that is turning 50?

 

She does have 2 kids...but she's never been married or seemed to have any sort of substantial long term relationship.

 

Following her social media is almost heart-wrenching? Every.single.guy is "the one" and "prince charming" and "so amazing" and then a few months later, he's *poof* gone off her social media, all pictures are erased, she's posting photos of herself in more 'revealing' outfits, more makeup, etc.

 

And the cycle rinses and repeats over and over again. She just can't seem to get past that 3 month mark or so with any relationship. And it has been that way as long as I've known her.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

just not way into a deep relationship in reality

 

One of my BFFs who got married at age 46 (first time) a year and a half ago was actually the opposite....she could just never find someone deep enough. I don't mean intellectually, but emotionally and able to connect interpersonally with the same intensity she does. Overall, all of the women I know in their forties who have never married are more complex, more intense, more deep than a lot of other women. Probably makes them more picky. Only a couple are also just not very nice on top of it lol.

[Happy Lemming]

I know a woman (not well personally...but an acquaintance) that is turning 50?

 

She does have 2 kids...but she's never been married or seemed to have any sort of substantial long term relationship.

 

It could be the kids are "running the guy off". A male friend of mine was dating a single mother with two kids and he told me things were going great with the woman, but the kids were always trying to sabotage this budding relationship. They'd say things to him, they do things to upset him and feign illness and she'd be forced to cancel on him.

 

He had this great trip planned for the two of them and one of the kids pretended to be sick and didn't want "Dad" taking care of her. The mother acquiesced and canceled on my friend. Later he found out that the child had been "faking" it, to drive a wedge between mom and her new boyfriend. He lost a good bit of money on that trip, as everything was non-refundable. It wasn't long after that he "threw in the towel".

 

Some children just want their "Mom and Dad" back together and do everything to sabotage both parents' dating attempts.

[Happy Lemming]

Best way to get a date is to be someone others would want to date. Not just physically but also socially and emotionally.

 

I'd like to agree with this statement 100%!!

 

I met my present long term girlfriend while swimming in a pool. Even though she was in her 50's, she looked GREAT!! She was wearing this cute little bikini. When I approached her and stated "chit-chatting" with her, she laughed, touched my arm and sent all the "I'm interested" signals. I asked her out for drinks (later that night) and the rest is history.

[oceanblue12]

I think that each individual situation is unique (you never know what they

have been through). To say, that all women in their 40s that have NOT been married are this or that is not accurate. I will say it again, WOMEN IN THEIR 30s and 40s are incredibly appealing for a lot of different reasons.

[Wallysbears]

I know a ton of ladies just like this one, and plenty of them are in their 40's. Many of my old high school friends are on my FB and this pretty much sums up their social media use. That, and the near constant stream of memes that have inspirational sayings, or talking about what men need to do to be "real" men, or how great of a woman she is.

 

Here is your/my friends' problem. Guys can see she has issues from a mile away. Her social media usage tells every guy that can see her page that she is DTF and undateable. .

 

I don't know if it says DTF and undateable...but it screams "warning" from a million miles away.

 

Heck...anyone that posts "inspirational" crap (to me) comes across as either a sucker for an MLM business, a religious fanatic, or going through some drama.

 

At least from what I witness on social media.

 

And if I see one more "boss babe" post, I may gouge an eye out.

[BettyDraper]

But I'm still healing my wounds. Men like him can be very damaging.

 

I feel for you.

I had a huge chip on my shoulder for a long time because of bad relationships. It could be helpful to take a long break from dating until you have healed.

[BettyDraper]

It's not "default advice" its just basic common sense...And most women know this all too well and quite a few aren't sitting around complaining and whining about it, instead they are doing what they need to do.. And hence don't have as much issue..

 

And I can't speak for other guys, but if much younger and attractive women actively pursue an older guy who isn't even interested or trying to get their attention, then it's a pretty safe bet that there are plenty more as well out there that don't have to rely on a windowless van and a cute puppy...

 

Nothing about this is ever really fair..."to the victor go the spoils", as they say...To sit around and hurl bottles like you are doing, puts you on the same level as the 28 year old out of shape guy in his mothers basement playing Fortnite-then complaining that no women want to give him a chance..

 

TFY

 

There is truth to this. Men are very visual and most of them do not like fat women.

Women are visual as well but not as much as men.

We tend to focus more on how well men can provide and protect. Biology will never modernize like society has.

 

When I was larger, my husband mentioned my weight once and never brought it up again. We were still intimate and affectionate but the passion increased greatly after I started taking better care of myself and lost weight.

 

I disagree that people do not tell each other when their social value is high though. Those with high social value receive a lot of compliments and special treatment.

[Fair]

I'm wondering how many women dated age-equivalent men in their early twenties. The vast majority of women I knew growing up avoided late teens / early twenties men in favor of older men. This has to create a gap somewhere down the line for women. I would have loved attention from a 19-year-old woman when I was 19. Unfortunately, I didn't get that attention until I was 29.

 

When I read this I realized I've been dismissing in my head, all the attention I get from younger men. I just sort of brush it off and forget about it because they've been in their 20's and to me that's just a kid. I don't feel particularly flattered, But I got asked out twice last summer by two men in their 20's and the guy working in the supermarket who stood there staring at me with blatant admiration couldn't have been more than 23. Somehow, these incidents don't count. I just feel either annoyed or amused... because I want someone my own age. They're either way too young or way too old for me.

 

Could be I'm just never in the right place at the right time.

[Fair]

Sorry but I think you need to hear a hard truth.

 

When I was overweight, depressed and unemployed I thought the same thing.. that nobody was ever single and there was just nobody to set me up with.

 

Yet a funny thing happened when I started hitting the gym regularly, got a good job and my mood and confidence improved. Suddenly everyone had a friend, a neice, a neighbour who was single and they wanted to introduce me to.

 

People won't outright tell you when they think you have low social value, just like they won't tell you when you have high value.. it will just be obvious by the way you're treated. You have to know this.

 

I did find this quote quite interesting. Food for thought. Thanks.

[ChatroomHero]

One of my BFFs who got married at age 46 (first time) a year and a half ago was actually the opposite....she could just never find someone deep enough. I don't mean intellectually, but emotionally and able to connect interpersonally with the same intensity she does. Overall, all of the women I know in their forties who have never married are more complex, more intense, more deep than a lot of other women. Probably makes them more picky. Only a couple are also just not very nice on top of it lol.

 

 

That's a great point, "more complex". I said immature but that probably isn't right, complex is better. Like most people might have 4 or 5 boxes that have to be ticked, but these women have 25 boxes or are a bit more judgmental. Getting a good read on them from what I have experienced reminds me of getting a good read on a 21 year old, that's why I was thinking immature.

 

 

I never try to go in with the, "There must be something wrong with them if they are not married by now", especially if they are super attractive, because that is not fair. But it seems like I find something (not necessarily good or bad) that tends to explain why they are single fairly early on and usually it is a complex hurdle. I also find they tend to be a little more, "I don't NEED a man" and tend to express that in different conversations that don't call for that type of response.

 

 

I think "Complex" sums it up for me. I am just not too thrilled to go on complex dates and have complex interactions so it gets old quick.

[chillii]

Complex can also often just be the fancy way of saying messed up to though , and they very often are,

l mean there's complex, and then there's complex. And guys can spot the other one at 100 paces,but she'll have no clue and be scratching her head and banging on about how we're all AH'S and why is it always someone else , forever. l know a few like this, big red signs cross their forehead, sadly nothin even friends can do , they basically need a personality transplant.

Edited April 13, 2019 by chillii